The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #81 Tue 06.30.09

Dwarves and midgets were how Adam and Jim and I got things started. Well, actually it started days ago during a conversation I was having with Brien. Researcher Wendy was dragged into to confirm my being right and all. Oh, and Adam was right too, he was just the last one to be involved in the whole thing. Anyway, Wendy went to the Little People of America website to find out the details and it seems that if you are 4'10" or less in height then you are considered a midget. Well, actually, Wendy only found that term used medically having to do with proportions as opposed to dwarfism. And in different countries different heights qualify, so to speak. Adam and I were sucked in because of Gimley and all. You know, from Lord of the Rings.

Law & Order SVU, which I always want to call SUV, has been renewed for two years and the new season begins September 23. Well, Mariska Hargitay's contract is good for two years anyway. Adam actually did not know she was Jayne Mansfield's daughter. Huh.

Simon Cowell has been offered $144 million to do another year of American Idol. I'll do it for a mere $5 million. Now that's a bargain.

Michael Jackson's kids are with his mother, for the moment anyway. His oldest is 12, that's Michael Joseph Jackson Jr. who is called Prince. Paris-Michael Katherine Jackson is 11 and Blanket is 7. His actual name is Prince Michael Jackson II. It seems Michael finished a video project about two weeks ago called the Dome Project.

And we had a very enlightening conversation regarding Raiders of the Lost Ark and an Ethiopian guy and the Ark of the Covenant. You'll need to hear it to appreciate it. Go to www.thejaneellen.com click on Hear Jane.

The One About Random Thoughts

My youngest child, Jenna, likes to drink my iced coffee. I don't let her get into it too often. Well, I never let her. She helps herself from my glass in the fridge. But when she was just barely two and kept wanting it I thought, hey, this will stop her, I'll let her taste it. And another coffee addict was born.

I was surprised that a Nashville television news anchor could not pronounce the word sarcophagus. It was as if she had never seen the word before. I find that odd.

My spouse and my friend Brien are Pepsi drinkers. I haven't had a soda since 2002. I find the smell of Pepsi to be intoxicating and often smell their drinks. Don't judge me.

I won't be able to see the new Harry Potter movie the day it comes out.

I still haven't finished sending Christmas cards from 2008. Or 2007. Perhaps I should locate my address book.

I don't hate the Fourth of July. But I do hate how it freaks out my dogs. The fireworks and all. It's a week of whimpering from large animals. Not pretty.

My fish hate me. I can sense it. I have put off cleaning the fish tank too long. I can see their resentful stares from here.

Suntanning is one of the fastest ways to premature aging. Don't just take my word for it. Ask a dermatologist. And slap on some sunblock while you're at it.

More and more people keep asking me to sing. I'm afraid I will turn into one of those horrendous, delusional contestants on American Idol.

My oldest daughter's favorite nail polish color is red.

I really like naps but I rarely feel better after taking one.

I read my favorite books over and over because I usually forget how they end.

Delete is a button I need to remember to push after I read an email.

The scent of honeysuckle is one of my favorites.


The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #80 Mon 06.29.09

Men find thin, seductive women, attractive. Wow, what a breakthrough. A study in North Carolina found that out. Men go for confident, hot chicks. Skin deep it seems. Yet when the same survey was applied to women, their answers were all across the board. This led to quite the discussion as to why I find George Clooney attractive. It's because he's charming.

Another study, done by Clairol, says that the age of 28 is when women feel their most attractive. It says by the age of 30 they start to worry about wrinkles and gray hair. Jim asked if I worried about those things. I said I would worry about wrinkles if I had any. And my hair started turning white when I was 15. I'm over it.

Transformers 2 has pulled in well over $201 million since last Wednesday. And I've heard it's just meh. Huh. I knew it was going to be successful. But not obscenely successful.

New stuff on the website today. Jim has a book review of something he likes. Eda's latest Hollywood Vine is posted. Learn how to make your own hummingbird nectar and keep the little birds around with Can You Dig It. And my recipe for Buttery Feta Fetish Fries is on the main page. Of course you need to hear the podcast too. www.thejaneellen.com click on Hear Jane.


The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #79 Fri 06.26.09

Jim blamed Adam for the death of Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson. You see, after Ed McMahon died, Adam brought up that such things happen in threes. Or, at least, appear to. And so Jim said it was he brought it upon them. Adam said he didn't expect Michael to go in so normal a way. Cardiac arrest. He thought bitten by a monkey in Shanghai or something. It just seemed odd.

Michael's mother has custody of his three children now. However, Debra Rowe may file for custody. She is the biological mother of the two oldest children. She had signed away her parental rights. An unnamed surrogate from Europe is the mother of his third child. Whether it is her egg and then a surrogate who bore the child, or a donated egg and then a surrogate, I don't know. That was never clear. Adam asked if I would ever do that and I said no. But he and I agreed we would both have George Clooney's children. The old fashioned way. I just wouldn't give up my parental rights. But George, call me.

Jeff Goldblum and Jeannie C. Riley were both reported dead yesterday. They are not.

We also had some bizarre drunk stories to pass on. Mostly the show was about Michael Jackson. And we had much to say, so you need to hear it. I was there and thoroughly enjoyed it.

Go to www.thejaneellen.com and click on Hear Jane.

Oh, thank you Wendy from the Research Team. The character from Mork and Mindy we couldn't remember was Exidor played by Richard Donner. How's that for obscure?


The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #78 Thu 06.25.09

So much to digest. Farrah's gone. Then Michael Jackson. Walter Cronkite is on his deathbed. The only thing I can say is that the Farrah news was expected. It's exceptionally sad. Yet, we knew it was coming. Uncle Walter is 92. That is also sad. Yet, it will not be a huge surprise when that happens. Michael Jackson. That was surprising.

The reports are still coming in of course. An autopsy will be performed tomorrow. But just 50 years old. There is talk of prescription drug misuse. All of it will come out eventually I suppose. And the comparisons to Elvis will as well. Just a sad day for entertainment.

And yet, happy birthday to a member of our research team, our bikini girl Eda. You can email her your wishes from the Know Jane page at http://www.thejaneellen.com/.

Adam was on the show today. Naturally, he saw Transformers 2 yesterday. He was offended by none of it. However, he thought the first one was better. Transformers did make over $60 million its first day alone.

Rosie gets another show. This time it's on XM/Sirius. It will start in the fall and will just be two hours. We wonder if she will use, how shall I say, salty language, as Howard tends to do.

Help Me I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out of Here is thankfully over and an actual celebrity won it. That would be Lou Diamond Phillips. His money went to the charity Art Has Heart.

Don't drop the F bomb at a police officer. Especially if you're holding. This actually happened locally to a police officer friend of mine. The moron started cussing at him. Had drugs in the car. Idiot. Got arrested.

American Idol contestant Carly Smithson has a new gig. She has joined a band. But it is not Evanescence. Even though three guys from Evanescence are members of the band, it is called We Are the Fallen. From Evanescence it's Ben Moody, Rocky Gray, and John LeCompt. Then there's Carly and bassist Marty O'Brien.

It's always a pleasure having Adam visit the show. Do tune in http://www.thejaneellen.com/ click on Hear Jane. He always makes me snort laugh. As he did today.


The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #77 Wed 06.24.09

Six months until Christmas Eve. I'm just sayin'.

I love this story of a dog. This guy in Germany. This drunk guy in Germany was snooping around a house. Came upon a dog and shot it in the shoulder. The wounded dog, thoroughly annoyed, bit the guy's nose off. Dog will be fine. I don't know about the guy's nose. And, I don't really care.

Aaron Sorkin is writing a movie about the origins of Facebook on the campus of Harvard in 2004. It might be called The Social Network.

SJP and Matthew Broderick are parents again. Unlike six years ago with James Wilkie, this time they used a surrogate and had twin girls named Marion Loretta Elwell and Tabitha Hodge. The girls were born Monday.

Jim and I had a lengthy discussion on whether or not is was a good idea for a Canadian thief to be naked as he stole from the drive thru window at Wendy's. Give it a listen at www.thejaneellen.com.

Eve is going to do a guest arc on Glee! this fall.

Sad that the break up of a marriage draws big numbers. Jon and Kate's divorce announcement had over 10 million viewers Monday night.

Transformers 2 came out today. The Chevy cars Skids and Mudflap are getting the kind of attention that Jar Jar Binks got. They've been called Steppin Fetchit and so on. Seems one has a gold tooth and they can't read. Jim's version of Steppin Fetchit needs to be heard to be believed. We haven't seen the movie yet so we don't know how valid the complaint is. Jim said to get over it.

September 29 Barbra Streisand and Diana Krall release an album called Love is the Answer. It's a cabaret, jazzy type of album.

Remember, you can email us your questions and comments by going to the Know Jane page at www.thejaneellen.com.


The One About Songs

Just the other day I was listening to an old Kasey Kasem countdown show. Thank God for XM/Sirius Radio. I don't know where I would be without satellite radio. Even though subscribing didn't help prevent my friend Jay's layoff. At least it let's me listen to the countdown, and Howard Stern, and 70's and 80's music if I so choose.

And Kasey had asked some question I've already forgotten but it sparked another one in me. And it had to do with songs with days of the week in the title. Just think of it. How many come to mind for you? Let's start with Sunday.

You've got "Sunday Bloody Sunday," "Pleasant Valley Sunday," "Sunday in the South," "Sunday Kind of Love," "Sunday Morning Coming Down," you see, Sunday was pretty easy to do.

This is all off the top of my head mind you. Then you've got Monday. "Rainy Days and Mondays Always Get Me Down," "I Don't Like Mondays," "Manic Monday," "Come Monday," "Come Next Monday," clearly, Monday is easy too.

Tuesday I came up with "Tuesday Afternoon," "Ruby Tuesday," and "Tuesday's Gone." Then I ran into a problem. Wednesday and Thursday. Could not come up with a thing. So I shall rest my brain and come back.

Friday there's "Finally Friday," "Thank God It's Friday," "Friday I'm in Love," and "Friday on my Mind." And Saturday was pretty easy with "Saturday's Alright for Fighting," S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y Night," "Another Saturday Night."

I had to look up Wednesday and Thursday. Simon and Garfunkel did Wednesday Morning 3am and Lisa Loeb did "Waiting for Wednesday." David Bowie had a song called "Thursday's Child" and the Hollies had a song called "Thursday Morning." I might've come up with the Bowie song eventually. But that's about it.

See, these are the type of things that fill my brain. I've played this game before too. Name songs with numbers and see how high you can count. Songs with colors, songs with states. Oh, it's endless. And much harder to do without a computer around.

Now the fun part for you is play this with someone who has not read this. I know, that will be difficult to do. But you might find that one person under a rock. Test their knowledge. Maybe they'll know Wednesday and Thursday songs easily enough and make me look like an idiot. It won't be the first time.

The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #76 Tue 06.23.09

Buffy and Edward. The slayer and the vamp from Twilight. It was inevitable. And oh so amusing. Do enjoy this.

Adam Cravens sat in on the show. That's always entertaining. We bond so. Unlike curmudgeon Jim. Jim has no estrogen to speak of. And guys are supposed to have some. Just like chicks have testosterone. Anyway, Jim was all bent out of shape over a texting conversation Adam and I were having yesterday. So bogus. You need to hear it www.thejaneellen.com click on Hear Jane.

So this guy in New Zealand is drinking at a laundromat. And he takes off all of his clothes. Makes sense, right? Then he feels it's time to get dressed and he needs to start with his underwear. I'm with him on that. So he sticks his head in the dryer. Can't find his underwear. Gets his body into the dryer up to his armpits. No underwear. Then falls over with the dryer on his head. He's trapped, getting hot. Luckily he's naked. Takes a female police officer and a few crews to take the dryer apart to free him. Turns out, he was in the wrong dryer. Those weren't his clothes after all.

And this anchorwoman had been getting nasty emails for a year. Had the IP traced and the name that popped up was that of a sex offender. So the police were called in. Oh, the name was wrong though. Turns out it was her morning news co-anchor. Wonder how that restraining order is going to work. We all agreed that he should be fired for making her work in a hostile environment. But we were also curious. Is he a nutjob, is he some bitter dude? Or did she do something to inspire such hatred? So many questions.

We covered so many stories today. New gardening tip with Jay Frankenfield is posted on the main page. It's all about container gardens at www.thejaneellen.com. Can You Dig It?


The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #75 Mon 06.22.09

Oh, to be this on top of things, as we are. It seems that the internet is now the preferred source for news. That's over TV, radio and newspapers. How convenient for those who are regular visitors to www.thejaneellen.com because it is the home of The Scoop. The only place to get up-to-the-minute news in detail for Putnam County, Tennessee. That's just not happening anywhere else. At all. I could go on. But I will control myself.

Matthew McConaughey and his girlfriend and baby mama of 11-month-old Levi are expecting again. It does make me happy when people with good DNA spread it around.

The Hangover slipped to number two this past weekend and Sandra Bullock's The Proposal led the pack with $34.1 million. Year One made just over $20 million.

Adam Lambert has issued this statement: "The work I did back then in no way reflects the music I am currently in the studio working on." Hi-Fi Recordings/Wilshire Records is releasing some of his older stuff. I posted "Want" in Friday's blog. It's OK. The song isn't great but his voice is. I'm sure Glambert completists will want it.

If you want a sneak peak at how amazing Studio Six Limited is, find The Jane Ellen on Facebook and look at the two pictures I put up on Sunday. One of me, one of Brien Travis, both from Friday's magazine photo shoot. If you live anywhere near Tennessee, and you need spectacular work done, contact them at www.studiosixlimited.com.

OK, did some great cooking yesterday. Let me roll through this because it could not be easier. Coconut shrimp. Get the biggest you can find. Flour them, dip them in beaten eggs, then roll in coconut, fry, done. Sauce is one cup of apricot jam, one teaspoon of horseradish and one teaspoon of lime juice. Thank me later. I'm going to try the same thing with chicken tenders.

Tonight everything on www.thejaneellen.com will be updated. The recipe of the week will be my mocha pie. It's a frozen pie that is very easy to make. Plus, you'll get your DVR record list which is full of good stuff, and more. Jay tells you about container gardens and Eda has some interesting Hollywood chat in there. And a new book review from Jim. And you may have noticed you can now contact everyone on staff through the Know Jane page. Feel free.


The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #74 Fri 06.19.09

Glambert's got a new song out. You can listen. Don't get too excited. It's from before he was on Idol.

The two movies out today are Year One, a PG 13 comedy with Jack Black and directed by Harold Ramis. I just don't have a good feeling about it because prehistoric comedies never seem to do well.

The Proposal is also a PG 13 comedy with Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds. The big question is, will The Hangover hang on to the number one spot for the third week in a row?

Danny Gokey says "music is the talk, the foundation is the walk." And yet, he was often criticized for his dancing on Idol. He is not opposed to being on Dancing with the Stars. Neither am I, by the way.

On Jon and Kate Plus 8, this Monday, they will announce a life changing decision. Insiders say it's their divorce. Jim says he hears she's a shrew. Because he's so connected to the show it seems.

Bacon is so loved that there is a site called Bacon Today and the guy who runs it is the Chief Baconographer. Wow. Why didn't I think of that? Jim says his favorite sammich is white bread, mayo and bacon. And then he ran down the bacon cheeseburger. Blasphemer.

I had a photo shoot with my most excellent friends Shan and Beth of Studio Six Limited. They were shooting me and Brien for some magazines today. First of all, thanks to Charles Long and everyone who helped move the baby grand piano up on stage at the Wesley Arena Theatre. It was quite the undertaking. You know what? Pianos are heavy. I saw just a few of Brien's photos over Beth's shoulder, which she hates by the way, and they looked amazing. I saw none of mine, which is Beth's way. All I was told was the lighting made me look like a vampire from Twilight. Which means I was sparkly. The downside is I had to give the dress back. Other than that, a fantastic way to spend the day. Will keep you posted.


The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #73 Thu 06.18.09

Because I have a roaring headache the server that hosts and stores the podcast is buggy today. So I'm just going to walk away from it for a little bit. I figure an hour of exchanging words with two different computers is really all they can take. At the moment, today's podcast can be heard in its entirety at www.myspace.com/thejaneellenpodcast and later in the day, because I will persevere, you will be able to pick it up off of iTunes and at www.thejaneellen.com under Hear Jane. Just not as I am writing this. But perhaps, as you are reading this it will all have come to pass.

Jim thinks that a banana with chocolate peanut butter on it does not qualify as breakfast and lunch. He is mistaken. Then he asked what he was going to eat for lunch. I told him whatever he wanted. There will be no stepping and fetching from me today. Speaking of, Jerry Seinfeld has a reality show in the works where the best marriage counselors on the planet will be helping couples. That would be comedians and celebrities. Didn't he meet his wife while she was on her honeymoon?

And I haven't read the article so I don't know if she was just giving advice of saying that she and Will Smith do it, but Jada Pinkett-Smith is in the current Redbook saying you should keep your marriage exciting by going to a party and having sex in the bathroom. Hey, people have to use that. Jim was all for it. I pointed out he didn't look like Will Smith.

Billy Joel, 60, is separating from his wife Katie Lee, 27. We wondered if it was a case if his having to explain things like hey, remember Glass Houses? Remember when I had hair? Things like that. Or just a personality conflict.

William Shatner did a great guest spot on Conan's Tonight Show where he ended up flipping him off because the Shat can't do the Vulcan live long and prosper gesture and Conan can. So funny.

And David Archuleta's dad Jeff pleaded no contest to a January 14 raid of Queens of Reiki massage parlor. The cops said he was getting sexual gratification from his masseuse. His lawyer said he was getting legitimate massage for his back pain. He paid $582. In fines. Don't know what the "massage" cost.

Hope your Thursday is divine. I have a photo shoot tomorrow for a magazine. They're bringing the clothes. I'm bringing my own jewelry. Should be interesting.


The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #72 Wed. 06.17.09

Your every wish is now fulfilled. You can email Jim now. And I encourage you to do so. jimherrin@thejaneellen.com. You can suggest a book for him to review. Or tell him where to put it. Whatever. You will be able to do so from a link on the site by the end of today. In theory anyway.

Let's talk sequels, shall we? The 5th Indiana Jones film does have Spielberg attached and Shia LeBeouf. Jim feels that what Spielberg should do, now that Harrison Ford is "of a certain age" he suggests that Indy be played by different actors like James Bond or Batman, and keep it in the same time as the original film. An interesting thought.

Jim then mocked fans of the 1984 film Red Dawn with Patrick Swayze and Charlie Sheen. It's being remade with Josh Peck and Adrianne Palicki. I am not hip enough to tell you who they are. For some reason I get Red Dawn mixed up with the 1991 film Toy Soldiers with Sean Astin and Wil Wheaton. I've probably only seen both of the films once and not in this century. Though Wil and I used to email. What happened Wil?

Sean Penn will not be playing Larry Fine in the Three Stooges film. He says it's to spend time with his family. And/or he has come to his senses. This led into a heated discussion regarding the Stooges vs. Marx Brothers, Abbott and Costello, and others. You will have to listen to make your own decision www.thejaneellen.com click on Hear Jane.

So, some chick calls off her wedding because she finds out her fiance is a porn star. Well, I don't know if he's a "star." He had told her he was a trainer. Having not seen his films I can't say if he was lying or not. Interesting conundrum.

If you're a good liar you might want to head to Butte for the lying contest. It's all part of the folk festival. However, they say professional liars such as lawyers and politicians cannot participate. I have a friend who is both a lawyer and a politician. Guess he can't play to win. www.nationalfolkfestival.com.

Jim and I also talked about six moms suing a sex predictor company over their boy children that they thought would be girls, Mariah Carey, Katie Holmes dancing career and Lindsay's diamond non-heist.


The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #71 Tue 06.16.09

"For a city boy you've got a pretty mouth." That's all Brien can remember about the movie Deliverance. Getting on all fours and squealing like a pig was apparently blocked from his mind. As was Dueling Banjos. Dillon James visited the show and I had a delightful time telling him all about Deliverance. Because that's a movie that 18-year-olds are comfortable talking about.

Dillon, by the way, is the local distributor at a super duper wonder fruit drink called Monavie. You can get hooked up at www.myspace.com/monavie_tn.

Do you think that hugging a woman from behind is assault and battery? Awkward. Perhaps. Well, it happened in Lawrence, MA, lawyer to lawyer. I cannot recommend eating stinging nettle berries but there is a championship for such a thing. Simon Slee is the reigning champ. I can't recommend eating anything that is a nettle and stings. Plus, if the nettle breaks, it has acid in it and burns your face. Another reason to avoid it. This delightful championship takes place in the United Kingdom.

China's version of eBay had some guy selling what he said was saliva collected from sleeping pretty 18-year-old girls. Said it was a tonic. It is no longer for sale. You know he was just spitting in a cup. Least I hope it was spit.

Buffalo Turds sound tasty. They are spicy mini smoked sausages with cream cheese and jalapeno peppers wrapped in bacon. See? I told you so. The sinner of the Buffalo Turd eating contest held in Mapleton, MN ate eleven in two minutes. That makes my left arm hurt.

You can visit Vulcan. It's in Alberta, Canada.

What's the most commonly misspelled word in the English language? Definitely spelled definately. How about that.

We also talked about Bruno on the cover of GQ, and the very latest about Lost. Give it a listen at www.thejaneellen.com.

The One About the Beautiful Dresses

I know that until televison was created, children were raised without benefit of added entertainment. They had things like conversation, wooden blocks, and crop circles with which to fill their time. When you were in the car you listened to the radio. Well, there's not a chance I would listen to FM radio these days. If I'm not on it, it's not worth my time. And you can take that to the bank (and thank you Barretta for the dated reference.) However, we do have a delightful device called a DVD player. Something that would've made those endless trips to Rhode Island not quite so monotonous.

Every summer we traveled to the birthplace of my parents. Providence. City without air conditioning. WTF? I specifically remember the car with the plastic seat covers. I think it was a navy Pontiac of some sort. Also without air conditioning. I used to count the dot pattern in the ceiling. They were in pairs. I got to sit in back on the hump between my older sisters Patty and Judy. Well, all my sisters are older. My youngest older sister Debby sat in the golden child seat between my parents in the front. She alleged car sickness. Uh huh.

Back to the DVD player. My sweet van has one. And my girls have finally seen the light and stopped watching Dora and Diego. Not that I wish ill upon them. I'm just over them. I prefer Spongebob. Even more so, I rejoiced when they fell in love with Singin' in the Rain. Which is one of the best movies ever made. No joke. You cannot get tired of it. And if you do there's something wrong with you. Seriously, seek a physician's help immediately.

Anna Grace has a crazy memory. I love that. And Jenna is smart too. I already knew the movie by heart. But after about three watchings Anna Grace just blurted out "ta tay tea toe two." That's one of Jean Hagen's lines when she has to learn to speak properly. Which she fails at. Part of the comedy. The girls love the dancing and the beautiful dresses. After a few viewings I decided to try them out with Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, another fantastic film with, oddly enough, beautiful dresses.

They were hooked the minute it started with Marilyn Monroe and Jane Russell in those red Travilla gowns. But a weird thing happened when they reached the Diamonds Are a Girls Best Friend number. They couldn't get past it. We watched it in the car for about three days straight. Going two and from daycare we got to see it about five times each way. Both girls now sing it and do the dance moves, as best they can in their car seats. It is a hoot to hear toddlers say Tiffany's and Cartier. I really must record it.

I just don't know why they chose to fixate on it so. Now in December they both believed that I was in that movie. Now they understand that I am not. I am slightly depressed over that. However, I know that I don't really look like Marilyn Monroe. We just have similar hair. The girls do know that I will be wearing that same pink dress in a vintage fashion show and intentionally trying to look like Marilyn in July. Maybe that's why they went for it. Maybe they have already developed a thing for diamonds. Or maybe they just know a beautiful dress when they see it.


The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #30 Mon. 06.15.09

Saruman is now a knight. As Jim pointed out, I can now say so is Dracula and Sherlock Holmes because Sir Christopher Lee played them as well. Either way, I say, coooool. He's 87 by the way.

It is a travesty that ABC canceled Pushing Daisies. However, Saturday night, they did their best to fake a series ender. Even though it was just filmed as a season ender. Voice over guy did the rest. An idea for a Pushing Daisies movie has become a DC comic book and will be out in the fall. The Pie-maker takes on 1,000 corpses. I might actually read that. As Jim pointed out, my experience with comic books is limited. I've only read the first ten X-Files comic books. I have ten mint in package and ten read. I just wasn't around people who read comic books. Or, if I was, they didn't talk about it. Seems odd now that I think about it.

Vinyl record sales are up. There's a niche market for it. For real. Oh, we're not going to go back to albums and keep them instead of MP3's. But there are some who just love the warmth and scratchiness of a record.

The Hangover did maintain its hold on the box office in the number one position this weekend and took in about $33.4 million dollars. Up! was number two and as predicted, The Taking of Pelham 1,2,3 was the most successful of the new films with a solid $25 million. Eddie Murphy's Imagine That made $5.7 million. Now that is $5.7 million more than any movie I made. And he still got paid for it. And he didn't make it all by himself. But.....

Mel Gibson has a record company called Icon. And if you want to find out if his baby mama can sing go oksana.fm to find out if she can sing. "Say My Name" is the first release off of her new album. I doubt it's the Destiny's Child song. I have not cared enough to go listen.

There are many new things to look at and amaze yourself with on the website. We have a new ad sponsor called Kimochis and they are toys with feelings. Very cool, kids love them, and you will too. Absolutely adorable. I have eaten as much as my thumb stomach will hold of the recipe of the week, I call it green chicken nachos. Brien wanted to call it F!#$cking Awesome Chicken Nachos but I said that would be inappropriate. And Jim has not one but two, two new book reviews up. That's not even the half of it.

Go listen to the podcast, go look around www.thejaneellen.com


The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #69 Fri 06.12.09

House is the most watched TV show in the world. Seriously. About 1.6 billion people watch it. Believe me, if I had just a walk-on I would want to see some House money. Raises for everyone. Hugh Laurie and his agent must be thrilled.

You do realize analog TV ended at midnight. Tens of people are irritated. Adam admitted to being a snob and doesn't even like watching things on VHS.

Sonny and Cher had a daughter named Chastity. Now they have a son named Chaz. That's right. She came out when she was 18 and now she is a he undergoing transgender surgery. Cher's son Elijah Blue is still a dude.

Paris and Tony are gone from So You Think You Can Dance.

New movies out today the remake of the 1974 film The Taking of Pelham 123 which is an R rated action drama and the PG comedy Imagine That. So it's Denzel and Travolta against an Eddie Murphy comedy. Hmmmm.

My Name is Earl will not rise again on TBS. Deal fell through.

Thomas Beatie, the person who is legally a man but retained his woman insides who had a girl last year or so, just had a baby boy. Adam argued he's just a woman with a mustache.

And some quack doctors said that caffeine gives you fight or flight syndrome ad harshed my mellow. I want my caffeine. So we had a gentle conversation about that, and Adam's total lack of understanding of football. You really must hear it. He says he has girlish tendencies and life was rough in high school. Good times at www.thejaneellen.com.


The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #68 Thu 06.11.09

Adam and I postulated our Lost theories. Let's see. The people from Heroes rescue them and take them to the Fringe people. Meh. My favorite is a DeLorean comes to the island and takes them back. To the future. Then Adam corrected me. Over and over again. You simply must hear it. I made the error of saying Back to the Future II and III sucked. Adam corrected me. Go to www.thejaneellen.com and click on Hear Jane. Honestly. Adam explains it all. Matthew Fox says the final season is going to be "very satisfying and cathartic and redemptive and beautiful." That's great. We knew that.

Michael Jackson's ear has apparently been hacked to pieces to save his nose. Megan Fox may play Buffy in the movie. True Blood returns for its new season on HBO. And there's a True Blood fragrance--attract a human. Now I want to smell it.

Carrie Prejean is no longer is no longer Miss California. Seems she missed many appearances so The Donald cut her loose. Tami Farrell is the new Miss California.

And a major storm is whipping up so I'll just post this and roll. I have fried green tomatoes and cheese grits waiting for me at my friend Leslie's house.


The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #67 Wed 06.10.09

A 29 year old guy in Knoxville has 21 kids from 11 different women. Four of the kids were born in the same year. Wow. Apparently, that's a record breaker. He must have charisma. Or something. Bobby Brown has child number five, this one is named Cassius. He has a girl Bobbi with Whitney and a boy Bobby. Plus three other kids not named Bobby in any form (unlike George Foreman, who didn't name his kids Bobby, he named them all George).

So much entertainment news. I highly recommend you listen to catch it all www.thejaneellen.com. Prince requires both hips be replaced but as a Jehovah's Witness is refusing treatment because of the blood transfusion possibility as I understand it. Madonna got to adopt four-year-old Mercy James. Which is awesome. Don't know why it was such a big deal. The child was in an orphanage. She wasn't living with a family. I wish Madonna would consider adopting me as well.

Futurama will return in 2010 on Comedy Central. My Name is Earl will rise again but on TBS. And Vera Wang has apparently signed to Dancing with the Stars. Hello, ABC, I'm not a celebrity but am still available.

A ten year old beat the crap out of her thirteen year old sister in Texas and got arrested. Wonder what brought that on? Seriously. And that led to quite the discussion of family related matters that one must hear to enjoy.

Happy birthday Dad.


The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #66 Tue 06.09.09

A-Team discussions always have Adam and I in a tizzy. Jim, not so much. Liam Neeson is rumored to be playing Hannibal and Bradley Cooper is to be Face. Meh. Liam is a fine actor but I don't see him with the George Peppard swagger. Now creator Stephen J. Cannell is involved, and so is Ridley Scott. So you know things are gonna blow up real good. And Adam says there will be very little cheese in this film. I am curious. Jim feels it will be a disaster. But he is Glass Half Empty. Just as long as the theme song stays in tact somehow. I pity the fool who takes away the theme song.

Adam Lambert will buy five copies for his mother....OK, enough with the Doctor Hook song. He's on the cover of Rolling Stone and guess what? He's gay. I know, I know, it is shocking. Even more so, I realized that Adam Lambert resembles the turn of the century incarnation of Garth Brooks otherwise known as Chris Gaines. Look it up. Be amazed.

Adam, our Adam Cravens that is, had much to say about the Fantastic Four movie. Took me by surprise. This is a MUST hear. Go to Hear Jane at www.thejaneellen.com. I have to tell you, this is what I feel is one of the funniest podcasts we have ever done. We give talk a bit about Full House and the maybe movie that will happen. Plus, you'll find out the next project for the director of Up!


The One About Waiting

I remember Sister Mary Eileen teaching me what is, now that I think about it, a rather sexist poem. I wonder who taught it to her. "Patience is a virtue, possess it if you can. Seldom in a woman, never in a man." Well, it stuck with me. The poem that is. And I do try to be patient. Even though my patience is constantly tried.

My oldest child, Anna Grace, has no patience at all. Half a second is an eternity that she simply cannot wait through. I feel her pain. Only I don't voice it. I may think it though, I have learned to squelch it.

I admit I like instant gratification. I call you I expect you to answer immediately. It's me. I don't want to go through your lackey. I text you I want the answer as soon as I've sent my missive. Drop what you're doing and attend to me. I admit I'm a little narcissistic. But I have stopped whatever I was doing to communicate with you. Well, I probably haven't. I'm probably doing five things at once. I multi-task. It's my way. Just don't keep me waiting.

There was a time when I waited five hours for a doctor's appointment. Believe me, that wouldn't happen today. 30 seconds for the microwave? Geez, that's asking a lot. But OK, if that's what it takes. Why don't we have a transporter yet like on Star Trek? That seems feasible. I didn't expect to be able to wiggle my nose like on Bewitched. Though if that works please let me know. But the transporter, I think that's possible. Now somebody make that happen. Immediately.

I remember when I was pregnant just sitting around feeling miserable waiting. Waiting for those children. I was not one of those happy pregnant women who felt good the whole time. Yes, I was happy to be pregnant when I was but man it was really unpleasant. For real. And all I could do was sit. And wait. Two things I am not good at.

Perhaps that's one reason why I will never move back to Northern Virginia. I had my share of sitting and waiting in traffic. Just enough to know that I never want to live like that again. Yes, you adjust to it. You have to. You just live so much of your life in your vehicle. That was not where I wanted to spend my time waiting.

I would rather be impatient somewhere else. Like here, at the computer. Where my emails and text messages remain unanswered. You know who you are.

The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #65 Mon 06.08.09

American Idol contestant Constantine Maroulis did not win a Tony Award last night. But hey, he was up for one. Best Musical went to Billy Elliot, Best Revival went to Hair (also a musical I might add). Angela Lansbury won for Blithe Spirit (I've seen the movie, loved it), and many, many years ago saw a British production on TV of the hysterical The Norman Conquests. Well that won a Tony for Best Revival of a Play. Man, you've got to find that on DVD. Or rather, I've got to. I recall it being insanely funny. Or at least one scene was. And that was enough to sustain me.

Kirsten Dunst has signed to do Spider-Man 4. And the other Speidi story continues, that would be Spencer and Heidi. They say it was nothing short of torture regarding their Help I'm a Celebrity experience. Something about three days without food or water in isolation. The producers say it was 14 hours. Heidi's in the hospital and she thought she was going to die. Huge spiders dropping on her in the dark. Drama, drama, drama. Yet, was there a breach of contract?

Up won the weekend box office, followed by The Hangover and in third with a mere $19.5 million Land of the Lost. I suspect a sequel will not be forthcoming. I also suspect that Sci-Fi's well-meaning marathon of said TV show did not help.

Have you noticed the many new features on the website? Do look. There is now Eda's Hollywood Vine with the latest celebrity news. And gardening tips with Jay Frankenfield from Burgess Falls Nursery. I've posted the new Recipe of the Week and it's my latest creation, Wang Chung Ribs. They're very easy to make, done in the slow cooker, with a bit of an Asian flava.

Jim and I also discuss crop circles on the podcast. He does not seem to think that aliens are doing them. And he is slightly bitter over not being around for another new creation--I was in a cooking frenzy Sunday--French Fries with butter and more. I give the entire recipe on the podcast. I just haven't thought what to name it yet. I don't think Harden Your Arteries Fries is the way to go. Listen and learn. Go to http://www.thejaneellen.com/ and click on Hear Jane.


The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #62 Fri 06.05.09

Ralph's Donuts makes an addictive circle of beauty round these parts. A chocolate deviled food cake with frosting, not that glazed business, but actual frosting. Almost more brownie than donut. And it was with the glorification of the donut that Jim and I began the podcast as it is National Donut Day. Homer Simpson no doubt has the day off from work to dine at Lard Boy.

Should you be traveling to Collinsville, Illinois this weekend, I know why you're going. It's for the Horseradish Festival. Neither made from radish nor horse, but from the mustard family, Collinsville is the Horseradish Capital of the World. Well, I guess every place has to be the capital of something.

Have you seen the photo of our President next to the ancient drawing of Kar in Egypt? Hilarious. Even he thought they looked alike.

We got more feedback from our female listeners regarding seeing men naked and, to clarify, for the most part, they only want to see them from behind. And shirt off doesn't count as naked.

I have subjected myself to the Sci-Fi marathon of Land of the Lost. I looked it up. Only 43 TV shows were made. Jim pointed out that's 42 too many. Man that show was bad. But I didn't remember it was that bad. However, Sci-Fi is playing it because of the theatrical release today starring Will Ferrell and Anna Friel from the It Never Should've Been Cancelled TV show Pushing Daisies. It's rated PG 13.

All four new films out today are comedies. Allegedly. The Hangover is rated R with Ed Helms and Heather Graham. These guys have a bachelor party in Vegas. They misplace the groom and have to find him and get him to his bride in a timely fashion. Away We Go is rated R with Maya Rudolph, Toni Collette and john Krasinski. It's about a slacker couple having a baby. Comedy ensues. One hopes. And Stella Got Her Groove Back Greek Style with Nia Vardalos and Richard Dreyfuss in the PG 13 My Life in Ruins. See, her life is in ruins and she's in the ruins of Greece as a tour guide. Get it?

Then Jim went on to make disparaging remarks about my hair and my cooking. If you would like to know just where I told him to put it listen to today's show at www.thejaneellen.com. The new summer makeover has begun on the website. Including the photo of the dress that half my people love and the other half absolutely hate. OK, it's not just the dress, I'm in the dress. And it's on the main page. More changes coming to the site this weekend too. Have a great one.


The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #63 Thu 06.04.09

A twinjury. That's an injury received while using Twitter. Guy got hit while jogging and using his Blackberry. Smacked in the noggin and down he went. Sure he's been mocked by his friends. I can understand tweeting while on the treadmill. But while jogging outside? Jogging is hard work. That's why I don't do it. Thus, Britain's first twinjury has been reported.

Which led to a discussion of cell phone elbow. Doc, it hurts when I do that. So, don't do that. But it's a legit complaint. You hold your cell up to your ear so long and it messes with the nerves. We had a downright doctory sounding discussion with big long words and everything during today's podcast at http://www.thejaneellen.com/.

Have watched FM radio die for years. And yet, was shocked, I guess because I didn't expect it, to hear that R&R, the industry magazine Radio and Records, to cease publication. So pretty much Billboard is the only game in town. Huh.

We continued our discussion of when it is OK for straight men in America to hold hands. Some listeners shared their feelings on the matter.

If you have frog collections, you really need to send them Brien's way. He has a thing about frogs. And some woman in New South Wales, which is in Australia, is accusing her neighbors of killing her husband because their pond attracts frogs and she says the croaking of the frogs stressed her husband and killed him. Drama.

And who knew you could see penguin poop from space? Oh, it was an animal-centric show today. Much to digest. Not poop of course. Not into that kind of thing.

Am making experimenting with new recipes today. One for slow cooker beef ribs. The other for a frozen mocha pie. Will get back to you on the outcome.


The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #62 Wed 06.03.09

Nick Fury is the name of Adam's member. Just something we learned on today's show. Had quite a discussion as to why many men feel the need to attribute names and women do not tend. Then we moved on to the latest Adam Lambert video of him holding hands with designer Drake Labry, who is totally hot by the way. I saw an E! report that said something along the lines, and I'm paraphrasing here, is this a coming out or just two guys on the town. So we discussed if hand holding was classic hetero-sexual male behavior. In America. I know in some European countries it is. And whether or not it is hetero behavior for women to do the same. Fascinating conversation at www.thejaneellen.com.

Why did my dogs only eat half of the Cheerios that my kids spilled on the floor and not all of them? I mean, they are my go-to before I get out a broom or the vacuum. But they're dogs, why did they stop at half? Were they actually full?

Heidi and Spencer really quit Help I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out of here. Something about being mega celebrities so they left the rough lifestyle in Costa Rica. We're still not quite sure who they are. I guess we should watch The Hills because Audrina Partridge is getting her own reality show and is allegedly dating Chris Pine (the current Captain Kirk).

Jennifer Hudson and her fiance, David Otunga, are expecting. No due date announced, no wedding date announced. Gilles Marini had surgery to repair his separated shoulder. And Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban are going to adopt a baby from Vietnam. They have a biological child together named Sunday Rose I do believe. She's about a year old, or close to it. And Nicole has two children who are teenagers that she adopted with Tom Cruise.

And Adam was appalled at the 4 of the 5 books that were listed in the top 5 bestsellers this week. Ah, teenage girls. And we talked about extremely fatty foods that just made us hungry. Give it a listen online.


The One About Dirt

"You look like you've never been dirty a day in your life." That has actually been said to me. It took me by complete surprise. I'll never forget, I was working at USA Today. Wait a minute, just dropped a name, let me stop to pick it up, and Sam the saxophone player said that to me. I was wearing white at the time. I had never really thought about it. I wasn't really offended. Yet, not complimented either. I was inferring from his implication that I had never done any physical labor at any time, ever. That I had never gotten sweaty, ever. Weeeeellll, maybe at the time he said that, he was right. OK, I had gotten sweaty. And grass-stained as a child. I remember the stains. But it haunted me.

Did I look like I repelled dirt? I know I'm one of the whitest people in the world. Dirt shows on me easily. I don't like to feel dirty. Unclean. Icky. However, I'm not Howard Hughes. I don't bathe several times a day. I also don't believe in touching door knobs or handrails if I don't have to, but that's a discussion for another time.

Since Sam made this statement, I have done many things. I lived on a farm. Alright, I didn't farm it. I just lived there. On my own. I took, or rather tried to take, horse and cow manure out of the mouths of my dogs. That stuff must be tasty. Actually, they really just went for the horse manure, in smaller pieces as opposed to the pies. I walked the trails on this 277 acre farm. I was covered in ticks. Disgusting by the way. I learned to garden. I got covered in dirt and paint and cooked.

And so life went on. The digging, the weeding, the cooking. So I haven't weeded lately. Yet when I cook, I cook all over. I make a hot mess. I always have. I wear it. Head to toe. I destroy the kitchen and my clothes. I. Get. Dirty.

And yet, just the other day, my BFF is over and I'll just relay the conversation. Starting with me. "Your shirt smells like smoke." "My mother wore it last." "She wore that?" "She was gardening. She digs you know. She actually gets dirty." "You've never seen me dirty have you?" "No, never. Have you ever even been dirty a day in your life?"

There it came again. The disbelief that I could get dirty. I have been vomited upon. I have been covered in fecal material courtesy of my children as infants. They did the vomiting too. I have had bugs on me and dirt. I have painted furniture and rooms and had dirt down my back. Miss Ellen has broken a sweat.

Sure I love to have things done for me. I have about 20 things I'd like done for me right now. But do not, for one second think that I do not know how to do for myself. I have. I can. And I will.

The Jane Ellen Podcast Summary #61 Tue 06.02.09

Adam Cravens revealed 15 mancrushes on today's show, and thinks he could get the list to 50 if we devote an entire show to it. Let's see who were all of them. Well, like I can remember all of them. You will have to listen to hear the joy in his voice www.thejaneellen.com. He's in manlove with Kevin Costner, Will Smith, Paul Rudd, Kevin Smith, Michael Biehn, George Clooney, we agree on so many. He'd like to have dinner with John Cusack but doesn't know if he's ready to commit. Brien admits a mancrush on Jason Mraz, but that's all I can remember. Jim says he has no mancrushes. Geez. So out of touch with his feminine side. We will do an entire mancrush show I am sure.

So, this guy spends two years trying to convince his dad that he should marry the girl of his dreams. He lives in Egypt and arranged marriages is the way of things where he is. Dad says no so what does he do? Move away and marry her anyway? No. He cuts off his penis. We had much to say on that one.

Paris Hilton has another season of My New BFF and this time, wait for it, this time it's in the United Arab Emirates of Dubai. That can't be good.

Lady Gaga wants a foursome with the Jonas Brothers? For real?

June 18, 2010 Toy Story 3 in theaters in 3D.

Listen to today's show and find out what BFN stands for. It might come in handy. And you'll get a local story about a guy who says he has demons in his house. No lie. I read the incident report myself.


The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #60 Mon 06.01.09

Adam Cravens returned from his sabbatical with much venom toward Twilight. Wow. You have got to listen to him go off on that movie. Hilarious. http://www.thejaneellen.com/. It's the very first time Adam has been back to the show since Star Trek came out so we got to talk at length about it. It's also the first time ever that a Star Trek movie has made so much money. Star Trek has pulled in $209.5 million this year. So far. Biggest grossing film this year. Biggest grossing Star Trek movie. Ever. Adam and I are ready to have walk-ons during the next film or television franchise. We are always available.

Jim's latest book review is posted under Read Jim on the website. The new Recipe of the Week is up. I call it Steak Your Reputation on It Salad and it's essentially flat iron steak, portabella mushrooms, spices and greenery. Delightful and easy to make. We will be changing the recipes and book reviews on Sundays.

If you want a bit of a preview of the photo shoot from Friday, check out the myspace photos. Now, to clean house. What a chore. Honestly, the podcast is a scream today.

I refuse to write any further details about it. It was just too funny to have Adam back so you need to experience his return. It was a joy.