The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #217 Fri 01.17.10

Today is my nephew Ryan's birthday. Happy birthday Ryan. Here's your card.

As snow is falling across the Volunteer State, Adam and I discussed the movies out today. Mel Gibson's Edge of darkness. Which caused me to make a catty remark about botox. Adam pointed out that he probably always looked like that except that hi-def has only just now made me notice it. Then there's the new movie When in Rome about magic coins and stuff. It's a comedy/romance thing with Kristen Bell. Not really our (referring to me and Adam) demo. So I rewrote it. I threw in some garroting and maybe aliens. He was amused. Maybe not everyone else would be. Listen and see what you think. Go to Hear Jane at the website.

I had to drive to Franklin today to stay with the most wonderful agent in the world, Stephanie Beck Williams. And her charming husband Dan. A Fashion Affair is tomorrow. I am invading their privacy because of the storm. The ride was not fun. However. I made it. And the show will go on. There are only about two inches of snow in Franklin. Shan says they have about six inches in DeKalb County. And they are coming to photograph the event. Anyway. I'm here. The host is present. It will be awesome. I have no doubt. You see, the trick is, say it with confidence. Then you can carry it off. Drive safe.


The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #216 Thu 01.28.10

Yes, Avatar is making gobs and gobs of money. But in today's show, Adam and I compare it to the films of yesteryear. It seems that nothing will ever dethrone Gone With the Wind. When you take inflation into consideration, it still made trillions. That's a heapin' helpin' amount of cash.

Adam and I also discussed how we are easily annoyed by those who say they do not like old movies. This caused us to compare newer films like, say, Meet Dave, to The Wizard of Oz. Discuss.

Mind you, there are plenty of old crappy movies. Just as there are new crappy ones. But there are many a brilliant film in black and white and they're not all by Hitchcock. If you would like to hear our many valid points, click on Hear Jane on the delightful website. You'll be fulfilled.


The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #215 Wed 01.27.10

American Idol auditions may not mean that much now that the top 23 have been, allegedly, leaked, but still, who doesn't love a good train wreck? Hadn't really thought about it but Glambert wannabes are all the rage this season and they're just not cutting it. Adam and I are in agreement, Simon's pithy remarks will be much missed. Unless we are hired for our scathing comments. We can scathe with the best of them. But, somehow, I don't think that will happen.

We wondered if James Cameron was a coupon cutter, ordered off the dollar menu, or just spent obscene amounts of money. We have nothing to base this on. We don't know his personal habits. We just came up with ideas. Listen and find out what we came up with at Hear Jane on the website.

I'm not quite sure how we got to the subject of whether or not Jesus rocked out or invented karaoke. What with the long hair and all it seemed a natural. But then all of a sudden Adam was talking about a guy named Fat Moses. I thought that was his name. But not, that's just Adam's name for him. Fascinating. And a great name for a band.

We also wondered about people who say they do not read books. We really just don't grasp that personality type. You mean, never? You never read a book? Ever? It's hard for me to hear and understand thoses words used in a sentence.

OK, that's it for now. Tomorrow, more Adam, more movie talk, I can feel it coming on.

There are maybe a handful of A Fashion Affair tickets left for Saturday at The Factory in Franklin. Go here. Buy now.


The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #214 Tue 01.26.10

Double dutch bus I've heard of. A double butt chicken named J-Lo is a new one on me. It's in Ocala. Don't worry, they're not going to eat J-Lo. The eight month old chicken has two pubic areas but, so far, does not lay twice as many eggs as the average chicken. They say they're not going to profit over J-Lo. Uh-huh.

Brad Pitt has allegedly bought a house because he and Angelina have allegedly split. What has Adam all aquiver is the house has a cave. Makes sense. He's friends with George Clooney. He was Batman. Adam thinks Brad may be the real Batman. Adam wants a house with a cave.

Oh how we amused ourselves today. Do listen at Hear Jane on the website.

By the way, there are ten, count 'em, ten tickets left for A Fashion Affair this Saturday. If you want them, go to www.avintageaffair.org. The gift bag alone is worth the price of the ticket. And it's all for charity.

The weather in Tennessee is frigid this week, and yet my daffodils are up an inch.
They do always bloom in February.

OK, tell me if this movie on TCM doesn't sound disturbing. It's from 1942 with Ginger Rogers and Ray Milland called The Major and The Minor. This is the DVR movie summary and I quote "A military school major eyes a blonde posing as a half-fare 12-year-old on a train." Ewwwww. Yeah, I get that she's not really 12, but he thinks she is and is still attracted to her. Double ewwwww. At least that's how the summary reads. And Ginger Rogers looks like a brunette or the darkest blonde ever. Hmmmm.


The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast #213 Mon 01.25.10

Jim is thrilled and excited that the Colts and Saints are in the Super Bowl. You know, the one day of the year that all the good commercials are shown. Wow Mel Gibson could use some Botox. Sorry, distracted by a movie trailer.

A Beauty Affair was delightful. I found out I can actually pick up my friend Cassie. But, you know, petite people probably have to expect that from time to time. Kristen Motil, who models for DAN Agency and was Miss Tennessee 2009 is a dream. And Stella & Dot jewelry is gorgeous. Many thanks to Matt at Maddux Station in Cookeville for whipping up desserts, pecan pies with chocolate chips. Heavenly doesn't cover it. As of this writing, there are only 15 tickets left to A Fashion Affair. That's this Saturday night at The Factory. If you want in, get yours now.

The show was vastly entertaining. Listen for yourself. Click on Hear Jane on my website. We spent some time on the new human bed warmers at some Holiday Inns in Great Britain. Which led to a discussion in the difference between hookers, call girls and gigolos. But back to the bed warmers. They wear hair nets and snugglies with an alarm and thermometer and their purpose is to get the sheets to 68 degrees, optimal temperature for sleeping. I think it's icky but I thought, since I was once super morbidly obese myself, what a great job for someone in that kind of shape. With a wider body you would get more of the sheets warmer and it would be easier on your joints. Jim would not concede. And so on. I stand by it, I was right. I am right.

Oh, eleven months until Christmas so start your shopping early. Or not. I care not.


The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #212 Fri 01.22.10

Quick Draw McGraw was a cartoon character. And having a revolver from the 1800's doesn't mean you, a grown man in your 50's, should take it upon yourself to practice your quick draw techniques with a loaded weapon. But some guy in Florida did. And he shot himself in the leg. He'll live. His dignity won't.

In the movies released today we noticed the similiarities between the movies posters for Legion and The Tooth Fairy. For those who don't pay attention, they both have guys with wings. Could lead to some disappointment one way or the other.

Adam made me laugh a great deal today. Listen for yourself and find out why. Click on Hear Jane at www.thejaneellen.com.

After he left I was supposed to have a playdate, that's what we call it anyway, with world famous, well, in Japan anyway, Brien Travis. But they kept him for jury duty this time. So hard to believe. They kept him. It boggles the mind. Not that he isn't inherently keepable. But. I digress. Which forced me to not put off tedious things. Chores. Hauling slop. Milking things. You know, that type of biznass. And I hung a belt rack, did three loads of laundry, created a new recipe, got caught up on episodes of American Idol and Chuck (sort of, they were on in the background) and did not allow myself the pleasure of a nap. Saturday is A Beauty Affair, all part of A Fashion Affair. Jim claims he knew nothing about it until now. Uh huh. Anyway. A Fashion Affair is on the verge of selling out. Get your tickets at www.avintageaffair.org. However, I have been told, that once the seats have been sold that Standing Room Only tickets will be sold for extremely low prices. You still get the show, the food and drinks, and me of course, you just have to lean, not sit, and no gift bag. Just hinting about that now. We shall see if that actually happens. Have a great weekend. Many new things will show up on the website Sunday night. Be looking for it.


The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #211 Thu 01.21.10

Yesterday's show, yeah, never got to that one. But you should. Adam and I were golden. Just like today's. So listen to both. Go to Hear Jane at www.thejaneellen.com. Yesterday's show begins with my telling of a story about a meeting I was at, and words that make me laugh. That should be enough to go on.

Today starts with the brilliance of Conan. He is spending NBC's money because, well, they have to pay for everything through tomorrow. So he took the world's most expensive car, a Bergotti, dressed it like a mouse, and played the original recording of the Stones Satisfaction. It cost $1.5 million to do that, including the rights to air that on the internet. Suh-weet.

Jim thinks of Brien a lot. Jim doesn't accept that Brien, a piano player, does not like Barry Manilow. Just like Adam has a music-loving friend who does not like the Beatles. That is just wrong. Jim feels that Brien does not know the entire Manilow catalog. The point is, in 2006, Barry appeared for one hour on QVC and that was the biggest single-hour music sales event in the channel's history. He just did another appearance on QVC, this time he was doing it live from Vegas to pimp his latest album The Greatest Love Songs of All Time. Wonder if Brien appeared on QVC if his Japan sales would soar even more?

I have encouraged Adam to read the Stephanie Meyer comic book. The review I read and posted on Twitter and Facebook was very amusing. He doesn't want it to touch his other comic books and said everything 12-year-old girls liked was stupid. Then apologized. And said he liked ponies. That got us talking about Superman and I suggested an alternative storyline. Really, you have to hear it. I, uh, I just can't put it into words. If Adam reads it, his eyes might break. Hearing it was painful enough.

And you can put peanut butter on chicken and eat it. Yes you can.


The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #209 Tue 01.19.10

46 bottles of vodka enough fer ya? It is, if you're Scottish. Seems about average actually. That's what they're downing with their haggis. And that would seems to be a bit much. Now I've had vodka. But never an entire bottle. In my entire life. So, certainly not 46 bottles of it a year. Seems there be more than dragons there. (I don't know, just wanted to throw that it.)

I made spaghetti recently. Jim complained, yes, complained, that I cooked the sauce for over six hours. I informed he that he didn't have to eat superior sauce. He complained about it. "What? Who does that? You open a can, you're done. Nobody cooks sauce for over six hours." It sickened me.

John Denver is a delightful singer. Yet, when I asked Jim who he was most likely to rock out to, He responded with what I expected, KISS and Queen. But a guy in Wisconsin was fined for rocking out to John Denver. That Sunshine on My Shoulder does get pretty raucous.

Oh, you were wondering how great Erika Page White and I looked together when we visited Manuel's last week? Funny you should ask. That's why I chose to start the blog with our photo. She will be modeling. I will be prancing. I tend to do that. I really must learn to control myself. There are only 40 tickets left for A Fashion Affair on January 30, so if you live in Tennessee and want some spectacular food and want to see us in action, you need to get your tickets now at www.avintageaffair.org.


The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #208 Fri 01.15.10

Happy Ides of January. What? You thought there was only an Ides of March? The Ides is the 15th of every month. So now you know.

Jim and and I discussed my visit home in today's show. Thursday, Shan and went to Manuel's Exclusive Clothiers on Broadway in Nashville. Manuel is one of the designers for A Fashion Affair, the event which I am hosting January 30. We met up with my agent Stephanie and the fabulous Erika Page White, who will also be modeling.

Let me just say that next time you're in Nashville you need to go in Manuel's and see how gorgeous it is. You know how I love to sparkle. Everything sparkles in the Rhinestone Rembrandt's shop. Even his latest line of undies. We tried on jacket after jacket and then I was asked if I would consider wearing two throughout the course of the show. Yeah, I needed convincing.

As soon as Shan sends me the photos, that would be you Shan, who has all the photos, I said as soon as Shan sends them to me I shall unleash them upon everyone. Manuel and Lauren and Lolly were amazing. We had a big time. Jim would've been bored out of his mind. I wanted to move in.

We also discussed a story from Sweden. Usually a pizza place is right next to a weight loss center. This time, it wasn't anything like that. No, the people who had gathered for their weekly weigh in had the misfortune to be on a floor that collapsed. I'm sure they had to put up with many an inappropriate joke. I wonder if any of them will be back.

New site updates this weekend. You can listen to the entire show at www.thejaneellen.com. And you can listen to me read audio books at www.audible.com.


The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #207 Thu 01.14.10

One month until Valentine's Day. Just letting you know ahead of time. Adam and I have a show that, quite honestly, fascinated us. We talked about our favorite thing. Movies. I asked him what movie set, other than Back to the Future (which I know to be his favorite) would he have liked to be on? He said Ghostbusters. Then I had to think about it. Of course, I wanted it to be a movie of merit. Something with cultural impact. And yet, I didn't want it to be, in hindsight, a set where I had known the conditions were not, shall we say, comfy? We agreed that a sound stage was about as good as I was going to get.

Then we moved on into our delusional Star Trek conversation. Here's the plan. Adam pointed out that we are not, NOT in the upcoming Star Trek film or the still in the "this is a good idea" Star Trek series. I've talked to my agent on at least three occasions about it. All we need is about two seconds of face time in, let's say, the next film. A name in the credits. Hey, we're not asking for a line. Sure, expecting one, but not not demanding one up front. Just a week on the set and a few seconds on screen guarantees us gold geek status and being paid to speak at Star Trek conventions. That's not so bad. Adam trembles just thinking about it.

Today I had my fitting at Manuel's Exclusive Clothiers in Nashville. It was like coming home. I've rarely felt so comfortable in a shop before. Everything spoke to me. Everything was sparkly. I have been fitted by a legend. I am legend. No, wait, that's a Will Smith movie. And I was asked if I would wear two of his jackets. Uh, sure. More on this experience later. Let me just say, though, it was fabulous. MWAH!


The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast #206 01.13.10

What a day this has been. What a rare mood I'm in. Brigadoon anyone? Today's show, me, Adam, and Nathan Stoops. We discuss a rubber robot named Roxxxy that costs nine large and holds your hand and talks to you. Then there's Heidi's extra plastic surgeries. And Adam and Nathan's feelings on Megan Fox and ScarJo. It was quite the program. And tomorrow I get to go to the world famous Manuel Exclusive Clothiers in the Music City. Frankly, I'm all a twitter. Go and explore what's new on www.thejaneellen.com.


The Jane Ellen Experience #205 Tue 01.12.10

I for one wonder how many times a day Adam is asked if he has a Bowflex body. I get to see it at least three times a week. Just putting that out there. Spider Man 4 will no longer be helmed by Sam Raimi and will no longer star Tobey Maguire. And how do we get that pay or play clause in something so someone can stop us from doing something and still hand over a hunk-o-dough? Anyway, James Cameron has expressed an interest in the franchise. Adam has theory. You simply must hear it. Click on Hear Jane www.thejaneellen.com.

The amazing Brien Travis pointed out to me that my emails to him sound just like Meryl Streep's lines in Devil Wears Prada. Adam has not seen and enjoyed this film. Even though nothing blows up, it is full of sarcastic asides and bitter remarks and I assured him he would enjoy it. Just go to to www.imdb.com and look up the film and check out memorable quotes. I do believe I have remarked at people, Brien in particular, moving at a glacial pace. Only said in a a much more gentle fashion. And the remark about coffee. Yeah, I'm sure I've said that too.

Seems our fave Kevin Smith is fascinated by Manimal too. It warrants looking into. The new A-Team trailer is a delight. I like that Liam Neesom is George Peppard-ish. And I love it when a plan comes together. Though Jim totally dissed the A-Team. What does he know?

I realized we did the entire show reclining like Romans. All we lacked was a vomitorium.

Had a delightful talk today with Erika Page White. She's a brilliant actress. Or is it actor? I'll have to have her clarify that. And she's married to country superstar Bryan White. Plus, she's part of A Fashion Affair. By the way, if you live in Tennessee, tickets are selling out fast. You can buy them online at www.avintageaffair.org. All the VIP tables have sold out already. Of course, if you're there, in my eyes, you are a VIP. But, uh, technically, I guess you're not. Hey, you snooze you lose. But still, I will be host to all of you. And you will love it!


The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast #204 Mon 01.11.10

Do you have any clear idea as to when things expire in your fridge? Have you noticed that salad dressing expiration dates are often hard to find and read? It was once suggested to me that you should write the day you bought the stuff with a Sharpie on the lid. That way you know. I think that's a brilliant idea. Of course, I've never done it. But I think about doing it every time I wonder if my food has gone bad. Just passing it along.

The Simpsons celebrated 20 years of deliciousness on television. It is nothing short of brilliant and I am proud to say I come from Springfield. Do I have a favorite character? Krusty holds a certain appeal. Love the Mr. Plow theme song. And Comic Book Store Guy is fantastic. But it was because of The Simpsons that the Elvis TV show from 1990 never took off. And it was great. All two episodes. We actually looked up what shows were cancelled after just one episode. Listen and find out (shows like Heil Honey, I'm Home). Click on Hear Jane www.thejaneellen.com.

Manimal was not one of those shows. I rarely pass up a chance to talk about Simon McCorkindale. This guy wasn't just a man, or an animal, he was a manimal. It had such possibilities. I don't see why it didn't take off. Michael Bay take a look at this and turn it into a movie where things blow up real good.

Jim made sexist remarks about women driving in the snow. Most of which were warranted. And you can get ten years behind bars for massaging your meat. 80 pounds of it apparently.

The recipe of the week is a fantastic treat that mixes the taste of coffee and chocolate and will not help you lose weight if that was a New Year's resolution of yours. Sorry about that.


The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast #203 Thu 01.07,10

Manure. When you care enough to send the very best. Dick Kleis in Zwingle, Iowa, wanted to do something special for his wife's birthday. And he thought 120,000 pounds of manure would be the best way to tell her happy birthday. So that's how he spelled it out. Which got Adam and I thinking. Was it all the same type of manure? Did friends contribute? It took him three hours to spell the message, but how long to rid himself of the stench. I am assuming he did have some sort of odor. And, lucky for him, she was delighted with it. Me, not so much.

Spider-Man 4 and Thor were going to be released on the same day. And we agreed, that did seem a little bit silly. Same demo and all. Then I rhymed a lot of things with Thor and some bad British accents ensued. You'll have to listen at Hear Jane www.thejaneellen.com to appreciate all that.

Then we switched gears to bad Italian accents as I told the tale of a fateful trip, no, not that. As I talked about Dr. Vito Franco from Palermo University. He is one of many who looks at famous works of art and then says what was physically wrong with them. For instance. Allegedly. Mona Lisa had fatty acids under her skin--too much cholesterol. Botticelli's Portrait of a Youth? Marfan Syndrome. Michelangelo as shown in Raphael's The School of Athens had swollen knees. And we all know what that means. No, we don't go there. Excessive uric acid and renal calculosis. Totally not making this stuff up.

Adam and I talked about whether or not we are pundits. According to Wendy's research, we are. This is what she discovered: Pundits offer their opinion to the masses. We do that. But it is usually political. We rarely walk the political road. Pundits make remarks on things in which they are knowledgeable. Well, that's never stopped us. Soooooo, we do qualify. But lately, the word had become a tad derogatory. Which is why we are not so hip to embrace it.

Schools closed here before it ever snowed. The many inches promised turned into a wee bit with more ice thrown in for fun. Of course just a little precipitation brings out the birds so I taught my girls more birdwatching techniques this afternoon and a grand time was had by all. Many people applauded me. Though it was referred to as nerdwatching by one of my friends. As expected.


The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast #202 Wed 01.06.10

Feeling a bit bloated? Want to add depressed? Let's say you were a member of www.beautifulpeople.com, one of the most exclusive online dating communities. And all of a sudden, you're rock hard abs are only mildly firm and you are outta there. Beautifulpeople.com members vote people in and decide whether or not they can stay. They dumped 5,000 members who the others thought had gotten a little less beautiful over the holidays. However, they were encouraged to apply again later. Those who were dumped were from the UK, US and Canada. Adam and I considered again to see if they would vote us in, and then resign. We have no interest in dating. We're just curious.

If you want to know how we went from the scientific "discovery" that there is no G-spot to G-force then you'll just have to listen www.thejaneellen.com click on Hear Jane.

Celebrity Apprentice returns in March with former governor of Illinois, Rod Blagojevich, Darryl Strawberry, Sharon Osbourne and Cyndi Lauper. We can only assume that Cyndi and Sharon will play it crazy as that will be more entertaining. Brien was appalled that the great and talented Cyndi Lauper is on the show. Let me just say that the regular Apprentice is a bit ponderous for my taste. Celebrity Apprentice is well cast and gives the celebs a chance to get money for and publicize the charity of their choice. My, ahem, video co-star from Hillbilly Bone Trace Adkins was all about food allergies because he has a child with such an issue. As does our Research Team member Wendy. You can learn more at http://www.foodallergy.org.

Last season's Celebrity Apprentice winner, Joan Rivers, got stuck at the airport in Costa Rica because her passport says Joan Rosenberg aka Joan Rivers. Security felt this was suspicious. She had only $100 and no ATM card. A friend of a porter drove her 6 1/2 hours to another airport and she was able to get on a flight to the US there. Clearly another case of racial profiling.

January 30 is A Fashion Affair at The Factory in Franklin. I'm hosting it and the food, wine and spirits and fashion will be beyond amazing. Tickets are limited and going fast. If you get the VIP tickets you also get to attend A Beauty Affair on January 23. You can get tickets online at www.avintageaffair.org. All of this goes to charity by the way, and those beneficiaries are listed on the site.


The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast #201 Tue 01.05.10

Adam Cravens and I together again. Good times. I filled him full of sausage and chili. But not chili sausage. And all was well in the world. We talked of super powers. One of our favorite topics of discussions. We went over that lovely Washington Post column that is well worth your time. Avatar seems to be mildly successful. 17 days and a billion dollars? I think that's doing OK. Tiger Woods will be on the cover of Vanity Fair, shirtless, and pumping iron. But this photo was taken in, I want to say, 2006? Nothing like capitalizing on a scandal. This really was a delightful show. Our Wendy said she was sad, yes, sad when it was over because it was too short. By the way, one of our favorite people, Cyndi Lauper, will be in Celebrity Apprentice. Along with Sharon Osbourne. Will they be buds or clash? Hmmmm. Now, go listen to the show. Adam had much comedy to say about Twilight. So much so I could not top laughing. Hear Jane at www.thejaneellen.com.


The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast #200 Mon 01.04.10

Back to a normal schedule for many. And the 200th show for this award-winning podcast. Extraordinary! Jim and I eased back into it with what I supposed turned out to be somewhat of a tribute to Jim Stafford's song "Spiders and Snakes," though it was unintentional.

You see, there was a trailer fire in Utah. The humans were OK, but there were also 18 snakes in there. Only 11 made it out alive. The owner did mouth to mouth, sort of, with a pipe. I don't have snake issues. But I can imagine that some of the firefighters just weren't expecting that.

Then there was the guy in Britain with watery eyes. Turns out he had been cleaning the cage of his tarantula. The Chilean rose tarantula can release a, wait for it, wait for it, "mist of tiny hairs" to protect it form predators. One of those tiny hairs got stuck in his cornea. Creepy. Which brought about a discussion as to what it would be like if people could do more stuff that animals can do.

And Lonely Planet did a story on the top five most horrible places to live in the WORLD, two of them being in the US. Honestly, I'm not buying that. You'll just have to listen. Go to www.thejaneellen.com and click on Hear Jane.

And then I started to extol the virtues of the new cartoon Phineas and Ferb. I am all about it. Adam is on Tuesday's show. He will be adding something new to Geek Chic called Geek Chic Elite. More on that, later. Many new things on the site so do go exploring. And Happy New Year.