11.24.2013

Misophonia and How Can You NOT Have it?

Misophonia.  Ever heard of it?  Yeah, me neither.  Until this weekend.  Not that I need another onia or obia and yet, I have had this since I was a kid.  Now, I admit, I could just be a hyper-sensitive ass who is highly judgmental.  But misophonia is not a judgment call issue, it's a fact issue. And that fact is YOU MAKE SO MUCH NOISE EATING.  

It's true.  Every smack, every slurp, every chomp I hear as hammer blows in my head.  Rationally, I know I make noises when I eat.  I know it is impossible to not make a sound while eating.  But all the noise noise noise NOISE.  

The condition started to be talked about by the people in the white coats in 2001.  That would explain why you've never heard of misophonia (Greek for "extreme dislike of sound").  It's just the type of thing I would feel idiotic telling anyone about, least of all any type of doctor.  But it's nice to know I'm not crazy alone.


From the time I was quite young, my oldest sister would bestow the loving words of "stop smacking your lips, Jane" and, my favorite "you choose the crunchiest cereal on purpose don't you?"  True, it was Cap'n Crunch.  Point taken.  

When I was somewhere in the 10-15 year old range I picked up on it.  With age comes wisdom, and I know that I am friends with many noisy eaters and drinkers.  I could name them, yet, that would be pointless.  And rude.  They don't know that I've heard every sound they've ever made.  And they don't need to.  Because misophonia, why, it sounds even more ludicrous as I write about it.  If you had known misophonia was a thing now, you'd have looked and discovered several books on the subject.

Sound-Rage. A Primer of the Neurobiology and Psychology of a Little Known Anger Disorder posits that misophonia is a neurological condition where triggers, such as gum chewing, will set off the urge to flee.  Or flee really, really angrily away.  For me, I flee in my mind.  Or I scream quite loudly.  In my mind.  

As I've already said, if the sound of someone eating makes you want to scream, why, that makes you a jerk, a lunatic, or a bit of both.  Now, the next time I have been "triggered" to "run screaming out of the room/start punching you in the face" I will simply say, "my misophonia is acting up" and leave it at that.  Whoever I say it to need not know what misophonia is, they just need to know my onia is hurting, so back off.  And while I'm at it, your epidermis is showing.  Do something about that, won't you?