The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #59 Fri 05.29.09

Funny funny video reactions here of Adam Lambert fans who were sorely disappointed, to put it mildly when he didn't win Idol. And you know I was all about Adam. But this stuff is rich.

The movie that will so obviously be the winner over the weekend is G rated UP with the voice talents of Ed Asner, Christopher Plummer, and John Ratzenberger in it. You should go to http://www.imdb.com/ and look up Ratzenberger by the way. He's been a voice talent in everything. He wasn't just in Cheers you know.

The Brothers Bloom looks interesting to me. It's a PG 13 drama with Rachel Weisz and Adrien Brody. It's about brothers. And their name is Bloom. That aside, they're con men and one wants to retire but the other wants to pull one last con. There's a foreign film out called Departures.

And a movie I have no intentions of seeing because of the fly crawling into the nose scene that I have already seen ad nauseum and that is Sam Raimi's Drag Me Into Hell which is actually PG 13. It's about a gypsy curse. Always running down the gypsies.

Why did Jim say I looked like white trash? Oh, you'll have to hear it from his lips at http://www.thejaneellen.com/. He always has something nice to say to me. But this one took the cake.

Seems Canada is THE most popular country for those who like to travel. The U.S. is number 10. Italy came in second. I would love to see Rome. It's just the flying. So we had a big discussion on my flying issues. Well, not a big discussion, I still have issues. Brien's trying to help me face them by getting me in a small plane. I don't see how that will help.

We also talked about when it is appropriate to call 911. And when it isn't. Some people.

Have a great weekend. Be sure to check the website on Sunday. The recipe of the week will change then, and Jim will have a new book review posted. Wooooo!


The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #58 Thu 05.28.09

Jim sings "On the Cover of Rolling Stone." You won't want to miss that at www.thejaneellen.com. He doesn't always break into song. Thank goodness. Lady Gaga is on the cover wearing the exact same thing I wore to our nephew's wedding. Bubbles. Just bubbles. We also chat about the airbrushing of photos and I not only admit to but tell you specifically what has been airbrushed on a popular photo of me. A photo in which I was mistaken for a Budweiser girl. Thank you guy who needs his eyes checked. You made my day.

Glambert says he hopes that his first album will be a fresh take on the glam rock of the 70's mixed with the classic rock of the 70's. Adam definitely wants to do his own thing. And yet he also said it would be hard to say no to Queen if they asked him to front the band too.

There's some speculation that the Lara Croft Tomb Raider movie franchise will begin anew, this time with 23-year-old Megan Fox in Angelina's role.

Did you pick up the coded reference to enlightenment philosopher Immanuel Kant in the finale of Lost? Neither did I.

And Kanye West is a proud non-reader. I usually have Kanye's back, but I so don't on this one. Hear some excerpts from his 52-page book that needed a co-writer on today's podcast.


The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #57 Wed 05.27.09

Twitter without Ashton? That's a no good boss. But he has threatened to stop his tweets which would no doubt upset his over 2 million, yes, 2 million followers, if Twitter goes ahead with that Twitter TV show. Only problem is, the details about the show are still vague as far as I can see. Ashton's point is valid, he doesn't want to be stalked or promote stalking. So let's say you have non-celebrities trying to win money and using Twitter to get clues and following celebrities around, well, that's a pain. Major celebrities are followed enough without the promise of cash and prizes. Or are some celebrities choosing to participate in the show? See, it's just not clear. And how did Ashton get so many followers? He had a bet with CNN and he won. How about I just get 100? Not a million, just 100. If you're not following, just find thejaneellen on Twitter, so simple. Then I'll feel as powerful as Ashton. Well, almost.

Microsoft is about to pummel your senses with advertising for their new search engine called Bing which they hope will challenge Google. You will soon seen ads for Bing everywhere because they've spent something like $100 million to get the word out.

I have a delightful story to tell where I must protect the name of my BFF who I call Binge Eater in this one. Hey, I'm a food addict. I've lost 200 pounds. I deal with food issues every day. I understand food problems. And I sure know how food can make you feel happy. If you want to hear what Binge Eater did, and some bizarre things I have done which may surprise you, listen to today's podcast at www.thejaneellen.com.

There is talk that Hollywood is making a Buffy the Vampire Slayer movie without creator Joss Whedon. The original movie was not so great. But the TV show is awesome and all available on DVD. I highly recommend it.

And there is talk that Kris Allen fans were able to send 10 texts at a time on their AT&T phones and so out-voted Adam Lambert fans because they had fan watching parties and really concentrated on it. Huh. And Jim implied offensive things. As usual.

But that's how these podcasts go.


The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #56 Tue 05.26.09

I have screwed up my phone. Somehow. I've got this thing about wanting to hear a ringing sound when I'm calling a number but a song when mine is ringing so I can ignore you. Well, I have apparently put a classical ringback tune on my phone. I didn't do it on purpose. I don't even know if I bought it. I just know I don't want it. And I sure don't know how to get it off of there. Somebody, get me a teenager.

Jim taunted me by asking just how many Indy 500 race winners I could name just because Helio Castroneves from Dancing With the Stars won over the weekend. It was his third win. You'll have to hear my response at www.thejaneellen.com.

Susan Boyle's latest performance is all over the internet from Britain's Got Talent. This time she sang "Memory" from Cats. You must see it because the producers saw fit to shoot lights out from behind her head. I don't know why. Jim says the cache is gone now that she's a bit cleaned up and you already know she can sing.

Mel Gibson will be a father for the 8th time. Only this time it's with his girlfriend, not with his wife.

And Jim has the nerve to blame being hot at our nephew's wedding last Friday on the bride. Really, you have to hear it.


The Jane Ellen Podcast Summary #55 Mon 05.25.09

First of all, Happy Memorial Day. Hope you have had a good one. Yeah, I'm late posting this, but I did get the podcast up in a timely fashion. And it is well worth your time as I was reunited on the air with Kelly Evitts Becker. We spent many, many an hour on the air in the past. But this time we were not hampered by such pesky things as music and commercials. Do go to www.thejaneellen.com to listen. Kelly lives just outside of Hotlanta so we do not get to be in the same room at the same time very often. I found out her real feelings on American Idol. She brought me a stunning Dancing with the Stars poster which my youngest child thought was a poster of her. Kelly told her that yes, it was indeed a picture of her and that she was a very perceptive 2 and a half year old child. Which she is.

Kelly tells her favorite old timey radio stories of me. Ah, they're rich. They're the ones about playing Alabama's "Roll On" for comedic effect and the time I called her date a professional wrestler. I guess I really did say that aloud instead of just think it.

We discuss the CSI writer lawsuit that this real estate couple has going on for $6 million. They say their business was ruined because a real estate deal with this writer didn't work out then a CSI storyline had real estate agents with their same first names but a different last name aired. And the real estate agents were shady. I'd say they're not going to get their six mil. I'd also say I would've done the same thing.

Sir Paul fought Google Street View and won. And Clay Aiken kind of sort of apologized to Adam Lambert for saying his version of "Ring of Fire" made Clay's ears bleed. I thought it was freakin' awesome by the way.

Tomorrow is my oldest child's fourth birthday. This evening is so much more pleasant than the 22 hours of non-fruitful labor I was going through at this time four years ago. I specifically remember choosing to watch the American Idol final and not Lost. We recorded Lost but the record messed up and we only got the first hour. So annoying. We were a few days home with a new baby and all was chill and thought hey, let's watch Lost, they open the hatch for the first time and boom, it ended. But I got to see Carrie Underwood win Idol. I really thought it was going to be Bo Bice that year. Huh, what did I know? Anyway, I must prepare for tomorrow. She is very excited.


The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #54

What do Star Trek XI and Terminator Salvation have in common? They both have 20-year-old Russian born actor Anton Yelchin. The new Terminator movie is rated PG 13 and stars Christian Bale as John Connor. McG, who I love, is the director. McG is behind one of my favorite shows, Supernatural. Much like with Supernatural, the color of the entire film is, well, almost absent. He does things with color. If you have not seen the original film Terminator it is a must-see. It's just that cool.

Night at the Museum 2: Battle of the Smithsonian is a PG comedy with Ben Stiller, Hank Azaria and Amy Adams. The first Night movie was based on a children's book. This one is based on the first movie. It looks ponderous at best, but I'm jaded. Steven Soderbergh has directed an indie film about a call girl who provides financiers The Girlfriend Experience. It's rated R and it's the first mainstream film that adult film actress Sasha Grey has starred in. I am unfamiliar with her work, but Jim seemed to know all about her. And the Wayans brothers have been given money to make another parody film, the time about dance movies. It's called Dance Flick and is rated PG 13.

Speaking of dancing, So You Think You Can Dance premiered on FOX last night. They had some new judges whose names I haven't bothered to learn. The most inspiring dancer was a girl with normal sized arms and legs and yet she only had three vertebrae so her neck and body seemed smaller. She was good, but not good enough. And there was a first, a same sex couple doing a ballroom dance. One guy was gay, one was straight. They were good, even though they fell. They made it to the choreography round but I don't believe they got through to Vegas. Naturally, it was unclear who the final 20 were who did get the ticket. Meh.

Aren't you thrilled and excited that it costs you nothing to visit www.thejaneellen.com? And yet, for the Ultimate Membership, it costs $29.95 a year for Clay Aiken's website www.clayonline.com. Having not watched this past season but for a few minutes, he posted a blog about the finale. He says he only heard Adam sing Ring of Fire and it made his ears bleed. And he said "American Idol stopped being about real people." Jim and I had much to say about what American Idol has turned into. I suggest you listen to today's podcast.

Clay and Ruben's finale was the most watched Idol finale, I think around 38 million viewers, Kelly Clarkson's had the least number of viewers. Kelly was season one and it was a summer show then. Kris and Adam's finale tied with Fantasia for second to last in numbers at 28.84 million viewers. Which is still 9.8 million more than the Grammy Awards. Which explains why so many artists perform on Idol. Even though their numbers are down, it is still hugely successful.

Now, I must finish getting ready for our nephew Adam's wedding. We have at least a two hour car trip, Memorial Day weekend. Ugh. The kids, no nap, the driving. They'll be wound up. I hope they don't destroy the place.


The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #53 05.21.09

100 million votes were cast and Kris Allen is the new American Idol. They say 38 million of those votes came from his home state of Arkansas. Now, whether or not those votes went to him is unclear. What is clear is that this season they did not announce if if was a close race which has led some to speculate that it was a landslide victory for the soft-rocker. He seemed just as surprised as everyone else and said, "It feels good, but Adam deserves this." Both he and Adam were given Ford Fusion Hybrids. Nice. And, for the first time, the winner received a trophy. It looks like a microphone.

It was great to see David Cook again. He performed. Sad to find out his brother lost his battle with cancer. Enjoyed seeing Norman Gentle again. Of course they brought back Tatiana and Katrina the bikini girl and her new implants. Right before Kara did it I said to Jim, what Kara needs to do now is rip off her dress and have a bikini on underneath it. Soooo obvious. And it was done. For charity of course.

I found it interesting, thinking back to season one of Idol, that they could barely afford a piano it seems. Last night they had Queen Latifah, Jason Mraz, Keith Urban, Fergie and the Peas, Cyndi Lauper, Lionel Richie, KISS, Carlos Santana, Steve Martin, Rod Stewart and what's left of Queen. For me, seeing Cyndi Lauper and Steve Martin did it. Cyndi looked extraordinary, Time After Time is a brilliant song, and I thought she and Allison sounded great together though, honestly, I only saw and heard Cyndi. And I've always knows Steve Martin could play the banjo. I thought the song they performed was some classic I had never heard of--had no idea he had written it. Stunning. His album came out Tuesday. Sure, he wrote King Tut. But this was in another league.

Jim liked how Simon was the only judge who didn't stand when Kris was announced. Whether he didn't know the camera was on hi or he just didn't care or feel like it, it was classic Simon Cowell. They'll begin the audition process for the January premiere usually around Labor Day. And FOX has new programming on tonight with the premiere of So You Think You Can Dance.

Hayden Panettiere of Heroes has a tattoo down her back that says, in Italian, to live without regrets--vivere senza rimpianti, well, almost. It's spelled wrong rimpianti has an extra I and is written on her rimipianti so who knows if that means something else in Italian.

The actress who played reporter Jennifer Dugan in Spider-Man 3, Lucy Gordon, has committed suicide at the age of 28 in Paris.

And I had no idea that SJP and Matthew Broderick were expecting twins through a surrogate mother. Seems the surrogate is being harassed by photographers and her computer has been hacked. SJP and Matthew have a six-year-old son they had on their own, well, six years ago.

And dress shopping with Jim yesterday was ponderous at best. Hear how it turned out by listening to the podcast at www.thejaneellen.com.


The Jane Ellen Podcast Summary #52 Wed 05.20.09

Mark Ballas teaches another celebrity to dance and helps Shawn win Dancing With the Stars. After two hours of filler and two performances from Lady Gaga we find that Shawn and Gilles were separated in the votes by less than 1% according to the viewers. Mark had won two seasons ago with another Olympian, Kristi Yamaguchi. Honestly, the results show was pretty ponderous. An hour would've been plenty. Regarding the contest for the new professional dancer joining the cast, big surprise, that's going to be Anna Demidova. And Jeffrey Ross's roast of the final three was marginally funny when he said it wasn't dancing with the stars because all the celebrities had been eliminated, it was just dancing with the marginally famous. Meh. The new season will begin in September. And ABC, I am available.

Oh, while I'm thinking of it TV shows, here are ones that will not be back: Samantha Who, My Name is Earl, According to Jim, The Unusuals, Cupid, In the Motherhood, The Unit, The X List, Privileged, King of the the Hill, Kath and Kim and Medium. There are others of course.

I did watch Glee! which followed Idol. Jim was bored stiff. I enjoyed it. I thought the vocal talent was great. I wished Joss Whedon had a hand in the dialogue. I wanted it to be a bit sharper. However, it has promise.

Now, the big dog, Idol, it ends tonight. Last night was the final performance night. Both Adam and Kris got to choose a song they had already sung, they sang one that creator Simon Fuller chose for them, and sang the first single co-written by judge Cara. Adam went first, dressed as a modern day vampire in a very cool coat with lots of fog doing Brien's version of Mad World. Excellent. The judges fell all over themselves though Simon said it was a bit theatrical. Kris did an awesome version of Ain't No Sunshine When She's Gone. I love that song.

I did not, however, love Randy's plaid suit or Paula's Wow it's green dress and man what a lot of spray tan she was sporting. Then Adam did Sam Cooke's Change is Gonna Come. Not many can wear silver lame like he can. Jim complained it was typical Adam. Always going for the big notes. Whitney would've done the same. Kris got Marvin Gaye's What's Goin' On. My problem with that is then the judges complained about it being too small when Kris did his usual thing with a song he didn't choose for himself.

Then the crapfest closing song. Something about hurricanes. What, No Boundaries? Is that what's it's called? It's the classic end of Idol song. All about the journey yeah, I get it. Look, I'm not a songwriter so I shouldn't knock it. But all the end of Idol songs seem to morph into one sucky power ballad to me. Jim thought Kris did a better version. I felt Randy and Simon didn't like the song. Jim thinks Kris should win. Brien thinks Adam should win but that Kris will win. I think Adam should win but won't be surprised if Kris does win. Either way, they've got got contracts I'm sure and I suspect it will be a tight race. It's apples and oranges people. We'll find out tonight with two more hours of filler. Actually, more than that as Seacrest already announced that they probably would go over time in tonight's show.


The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #51 Tue 05.19.09

Finally, no filler on Dancing with the Stars. And, I changed my mind. I had thought it would come down to Gilles and Melissa. Though, really, it is the final three and then they just start to eliminate until there is a winner. I really liked how all three couples danced the same dance, the paso doble, to the same song, separately, and as a group. I thought that really made it as fair as possible. Because, you know, it really is hard to judge a Latin number up against a ballroom number. So, how did it turn out? Shawn and Mark got a 28 with their paso, Melissa and Tony got a 29, and Cheryl and Gilles got a 30. A few years ago I had no idea what a paso doble was. Now I just toss the term around like I'm some sort of expert.

Then they moved on to the freestyle. And this is where I feel they really nail the competition. What was so remarkable about Shawn's routine wasn't that it was full of gymnastic tricks. No, it was that Mark was matching her flip for flip. Plus, they were dancing as much as they were flipping. They got a well-deserved 30. That gave them a total of 58.

Melissa and Tony sexed it up for a hip hop number on their freestyle. It was good. I don't have a complaint. I just can't put my finger on what was missing. But something was. And that's why I changed my mind. They received a 28 with a total of 56.

Then Cheryl and Gilles brought out the nostalgia factor with Oh What A Feelin' from Flashdance. Gilles sure can wear a torn shirt well. They had the classic moves from the movie and even though only Len gave them a 10 they did get a 28. I think going for the memory will be enough to move the voters. Well, it's over with now. We'll find out who won tonight. I sense it will be Gilles. Sure, it could be Shawn. I do not think it will l be Melissa.

E! online interviewed Adam and Kris. No real revelations. Kris said he wasn't going to try and out sing Adam and Adam said he didn't think there were any secrets anymore. They both felt that by making the finale that they had won. They were two different types of singers and it was up to the voters. They were friends and cool with the outcome. Which is the smart way to approach it. They perform tonight.

What has been the longest running prime time drama in TV? Gunsmoke. What will tie it? Law & Order. It starts its 20th year in the fall.

The Next Top Model folks say Paulina being asked to leave the show was the result of budget cuts because they are not immune to the recession either.

And oddly enough, Jim and I don't agree on how to raise the children. Find out how we differ by listening to today's show at www.thejaneellen.com at Hear Jane.

The One About Weird Food

Having just discovered the delightful combination of dark chocolate covered pomegranate which I continue to swear is a fruit, not candy. My friends and I have been discussing about even more combinations of food because, quite frankly, we're obsessed. Food has always brought people together. It should anyway. I remember writing letters to friends, yes, actual letters, where I would put just a smear of their favorite cheese dip on the side of the paper from their favorite restaurant to let them know I had been there in their absence. These days, I take a picture of it with my phone. Hey, look, it's your favorite food. Too bad you're not here eating it with me. It's all about bringing people together. Or taunting them. Almost the same thing.

Just the other day Brien tried a food combination experiment right before my eyes. Pot roast and gravy combined with a yellow cake cupcake buried under chocolate frosting. Two separate forkfuls. He did it twice because he couldn't decide if it was disgusting or interesting or what. Separately, each dish was tasty. Fascinating what drives a person to put the two together. I combine a lot of different foods. However, it has never crossed my mind to put those two items together. In my mouth. At the same time. One following the other, sure.

Most people are truly revolted at my favorite breakfast sandwich I developed as a child. I will gladly share it with you here. I only did this on Sundays by the way. That's when mom cooked eggs and various pork products. Scrambled eggs usually, with ketchup. So you have that combination going on. Then there's the toast or English muffin with peanut butter. And either bacon or some type of sausage, doesn't matter. Yes, stack 'em up. It's easier with bacon, but you need a can do attitude if you're using link sausage, and it's just as good. So let's say you've got peanut butter toast, then put on your bacon followed by the ketchup covered eggs. Heavenly. I don't recall the last time I ate one of those creations. But every once in a while, on the rare occasion that I do have sausage in the house, I will cut off a piece and put peanut butter on it. Hey, don't knock it. And that goes for kielbasa as well.

I have yet to freeze pickle juice and have a pickle pop. Though I know people who swear by them. But I have had fried pickles and am a pickle fan in general. I'm not saying I won't try it. I just haven't worked up to it yet.

I will not knowingly eat bugs whether they are fried or covered in chocolate. However I do know that there is a percentage of bugs or animal hair and stuff that is considered OK by the U.S. government to be in our food. I looked it up once. I then had to put it completely out of my mind. Just like those mites that live in our eyelashes and eyebrows. My rational mind knows they're there. I just can't think about it.

I wonder. Will I do something outrageous and daring today regarding a food combination? Will I discover some amazing new taste? Or will I just stick to the usual? I dunno. I'm open to suggestion. There's a weird food chat forum at www.thejaneellen.com. Perhaps there's something I really need to try to make my life complete and I just don't know about it yet. Because believe me, I didn't know what I was missing until I found the dark chocolate covered pomegranate. And doctors say they're both good for you. I can't name any names, but, doctors say. It's a win-win in my book.


The Jane Ellen Podcast Summary #50 Mon 05.18.09

Turns out the curmudgeonly Jim had a good birthday yesterday. He accused me of trying to send him to an early grave by supplying him with all his favorite foods...cheese steak sammiches, cheeseburgers (made with turkey mind you), lemon meringue pie (heavenly and made from scratch, what a pain), Slim Jims, Mounds Bars, chocolate donuts, yeah, maybe he's right. And I had to make cupcakes for the girls because birthdays need cupcakes in their eyes. They don't need no stinkin' pie.

Could not believe Angels and Demons beat Star Trek at $48 million, but just barely. Star Trek pulled in $43 million making it the most successful Star Trek film in history. Technically. Star Trek IV Voyage Home, the one with the whales, had been, until now. But ticket prices have changed. Good news, Adam Cravens does own not one but two Star Trek uniforms so all is right with the universe.

This summer they will be filming a Sex and the City movie sequel. And on May 31, Twilight fans will no doubt be watching the awards show on MTV for a snippet of New Moon which will make its debut.

Seems Anoop and Megan the tattoo chick from Idol are a thing. And we all know Adam is out but apparently he has a steady so there you go. Carrie Underwood will appear on the finale. FOX will help you fill your time until Idol begins again in January by running two back-to-back seasons of So You Think You Can Dance. And they will air a preview of one episode of Glee! after Idol this week, much like the Super Bowl, to get you in the mood, and drive you to iTunes. Hey, my show's on there. I'm all for it.

Who was that cutie on Survivor? A totally cleaned up J.T. that's who. James J.T. Thomas Jr. 24 and a millionaire now. First Taj went, then Erinn and then Stephen. J. T. was so liked he got every vote.

Survivor Africa winner Ethan Zohn is now 35 and just started chemo for CD20 positive Hodgkins Lymphoma. He says the only outcome for him is survival.

Jim explains his favorite game on the today's podcast. You must hear it. The game is called Who got the better deal? He explains his theory behind Brad and Angelina, Ashton and Demi, and manages to insult me as well. Seriously, a must hear. Go to www.thejaneellen.com, newly redesigned by the way, and click on Hear Jane. Feel free to play the game yourself. Just realize, there are no winners in this one. Just Jim.


The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #49 05.15.09

Well, will Angels and Demons beat Star Trek at the box office this weekend? I think not. Maybe. But still. Sure, it has Tom Hanks and Obi Wan Kenobi in it. However, Da Vinci Code was a few years ago, it will do well and all, but Star Trek has such great word of mouth that I think it will dominate. I've seen it twice in the past week and I already want to see it again. Sure, I err on the side of geek. One of my friends remarked that it is so surprising that I am so very geeky by the way, I think that it will pull ahead. Follow this, Angels and Demons was written before Da Vinci Code but the story takes place after it. And, oddly enough, it is one of the few books where I remember the ending. I have the ability to read books and forget the ending. It's just a thing I can do. Because I can recall this one so clearly I have no desire to see it in the theater. I'll watch it on my cool hi-def TV instead. The next film I will see in the theater is Harry Potter. Some movies you just have to see big. Angels and Demons is rated PG 13.

To counter program against sci fi and action you have the R rated comedy/romance Management with Jennifer Aniston, Steve Zahn and Woody Harrelson. Steve and Jennifer have a fling. She goes back to boyfriend Woody. Comedy ensues. I have heard nothing about this film. For real. But Steve Zahn is in one of my favorite movies, with Tom Hanks, That Thing You Do. Coincidence? I think not.

Oh, back to Star Trek, Chris Pine, total hottie Captain Kirk, is in GQ modeling. Working some summer suits. And doing a great job of it. Seems he was in Smokin' Aces and some Lindsay Lohan film before Star Trek. And he's 28. That's all I got.

Dancing with the Stars can lead to much employment. There's a classy burlesque show in Vegas called Peep Show about Bo Peep. It has starred Melanie Brown, Scary Spice as you may know her. It currently employs Kelly Monaco who won the first DWTS. And it will soon star Holly Madison. Oddly enough, Bo Beep does not go topless.

OK, Survivor, it ends this Sunday. If you did not see last night's Coach-centric episode then find it on youtube or hulu or somewhere and enjoy his martyrdom. Get in a good eye roll or ten. Oh my. Jim is right. I'm pulling for Taj. I mean, I won't be bent out of shape if one of the others win, but I find her the most appealing. Coach is, as Taj put it, a "drama queen." He goes to Exile Island and says he's not going to eat or sleep because that's what his American Indian ancestors would've done. And he's 37? I thought he was more like 50. Well, he's gone now. Great casting on the part of the producers though. He is the thorn you want in everyone's side in a show like that. I can see why they chose him. Just thrilled that he is gone. Aaaahhhh. Best part was at tribal council when he shared a poem he had written and they go to the jury and they're all rolling their eyes. Nice, nice, nice. I can only imagine what it was like being stuck out there with him. Am so glad I didn't have to go through it.

Jim's birthday is Sunday. He's going to be very old. This is your card.


The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #48 Thu 05.14.09

Jim was crowing that he predicted how Lost would end--with a white screen, assuming that the white screen meant an explosion. Mind you, if you don't follow Lost, what I'm about to say will make absolutely no sense at all. Just thought I'd warn you. And so it did end with a white screen as we assumed Juliette, who had been pulled down a well by the chains, it's complicated, tried to set things right by setting off the bomb which did not explode when Jack dropped it down in the first place. We assume. You never really know with Lost. And why was Jack so insistent on making the past three years go away? Because he had messed things up with Kate? And why did Juliette decide he was right? Because she felt Sawyer, deep down, had a thing for Kate and so if she never met Sawyer she would never have to lose him. Heavy. In the meantime we see that the elusive Jacob who we have heard about all these seasons has crossed Kate's path when she was a kid, Jack's path, Sawyer's path at his parents' funeral, and he was the one who met Hurley outside of prison with the guitar case. The guitar case Hurley has been carrying around to represent Charlie. Is there a guitar in it? Or snacks? But wait, there's more. We find out that the chick who was the bounty hunter was also a friend of Jacob's and she and her people were carrying around Locke's dead body from the cargo hold of the plane. Which leads me to believe that N.J. Not Jacob (because I don't know what to call him) is the guy who has taken the form of Locke and convinced Ben to kill Jacob. And N.J. is the other guy we see in the first few minutes of the show establishing Jacob and Not Jacob as looking the same, not aging I mean, and it being something like the 1700's. Wow, that's a lot of Lost to swallow. Next season is the final season of the series. Oh, Sayid got shot in the mid-section too. Doesn't look good. Health wise. He looks awesome, black wife beater and all. So my recommendation to you is start at the beginning. Get the DVD's and watch Lost. Thank me later. And my friend Kelly says Fringe, which now has Leonard Nimoy on it and is a JJ Abrams show, is well worth my time. Perhaps Fringe in repeats will fill my Lost void.

Now, American Idol. Go Go Gokey has Go Go Gone. It's Kris and Adam for the final show. That changes everything. Jim feels Danny voters will now vote for Kris and he thinks that is who will win. That is sound logic. Jim also feels that Kris has the tendency to choke too. Adam doesn't. What I like about both of them is when they're handed the suckfest of a song that the Idol winner is always forced to sing, both of them have the ability to make it sound better. So there's that. I seriously doubt they will be singing It Takes Two like Kelly and Justin did during that very first finale show. Oh yes, I remember. 88 million votes for this show and one million separated Danny and Kris. That's enormous. I wonder how many separated Kris and Adam? But they never release that information. It will be a very interesting American Idol finale next week for sure. I'm pulling for Adam. I always have been. I just don't expect him to win. Even though I want him to.

Now, make sure you explore www.thejaneellen.com. It's new and different. Really, it is. No lie. More changes to come.


The Jane Ellen Podcast Summary # 47 Wed 05.13.09

Dancing with the Stars was no great surprise. Ty Murray did not make the cut and so the final three couples are Gilles and Cheryl, Shawn and Mark, Melissa and Tony. I still think it will come down to Gilles and Cheryl against Melissa and Tony. We shall see. I think it's great marketing, even though it's obviously filler, that they're using the viewers to pick the next professional dancer. Will it be Mayo or Anna? I suspect it will be Anna. Her being paired with Maks had nothing to do with my decision.

Paulina Porizkova got cut loose from America's Next Top Model. Allegedly for ego issues. On her birthday of all days.

Michael Jackson has hired Kenny Ortega, the guy behind High School Musical, to choreograph his London shows. Jim feels Michael couldn't sell a lot of tickets in the states. I think he could sell the tickets. But he's playing in London so it really doesn't matter now does it.

The Biggest Loser ended after 179 days. $250,000 went to 48-year-old Helen who started the show at 257 lbs. She lost 140 and now weighs 117. That's 54% of her body weight. That's what they go by, percentage of body weight. And so she won. Jim heard the complaint about the show is that people are forced to work about about eight hours a day, something they don't do in the real world. Awesome that they lost the weight though. I hope they can keep it off.

Now, let's talk Idol. the judges chose a song and the contestants chose a song. I'm glad they didn't sing a song they sang already this season as they had done in years past. Danny started with Terence Trent D'Arby's Dance Little Sister (great debut album by D'Arby way back when by the way, look into it). Paula chose it. Great job. Kris was given One Republic's Apologize as chosen by Cara and Randy. And he did a standard rendition of it. Which they complained about. I liked that Simon pointed out they chose the song and then had issue with his rendition. There was nothing wrong with it. It simply wasn't all changed up. But it wasn't bad. It just was. Then Simon called his buddy Bono to get permission to use One from U2. And Adam did an amazing job with it. Different arrangement. Stunning. However, I thought I was hallucinating because I thought he was in Vulcan makeup. Haircut. Pointy ears. It was actually the back lighting hitting the wires which led to the things in his ears. Seriously, look at the footage again. Vulcan. So, I've seen Star Trek twice in less than a week. But he did look like a Vulcan.

Then Danny did the unthinkable. He took a song I can't stand and made it awesome. It's Joe Cocker's You Are So Beautiful. It was so good. Kris took on Kanye's Heartless. Better than Kanye. Did it with an acoustic guitar. Amazing. Kris back in the game. Then Glambert steps up with Aerosmith's Cryin'. Terrific. Nice that Simon pointed out you have to vote for Adam. Just don't expect him to be in the final as everyone does. What a shocker if he doesn't make the final.

In my opinion, the top four will all be signed. Jim prefers Adam doing rock songs. But he thinks Kris is more marketable in today's world. From those I spoke with today, they expect Kris to go tonight. Ah, but will he?

And the two hour season finale of Lost is tonight. Jim asked why Hurley has been carrying around a guitar case. I assumed it was Charlie's. And maybe full of food. Hadn't thought that much about it but Jim's right. They haven't really explained it. Aaaaa, why did he have to bring that up?


The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #46 Tue 05.12.09

So, you buy a wrestling mask, kind of like a ski mask. You wear it into a furniture store. Are you surprised the police show up because the people at the store think they're being robbed? Well, it happened. The guy said he wore the mask because he was ugly. I wonder. He wasn't really robbing the store. But it wasn't so smart of an idea. I have friends who work in convenience stores. I can imagine their reaction if someone walked in wearing a mask. I told one of them that when I don't hear back from them I naturally assume they're being robbed, shot, or kidnapped. Jim asked if I didn't just thing they were busy working. Uh, rarely. Though, that is usually the case.

Dancing with the Stars semi-finals. Wonderful yet depressing as it is almost over. Each couple had to do a ballroom and a Latin number. Melissa and Tony did a quickstep and received a 28 and a cha cha cah and got a 27. That gives them a 55 and put the in third place. The judges issue was a lack of spark, though everything was good. Lack of spark tells me choreography was not dazzling, perhaps because of her rib injury. As Len pointed out, everything Melissa does is good.

Today we did a little research of our own and found out that Gilles is 33. Our friend Brien will be 33 one day. I wonder if when he gets that old he'll turn into Gilles. I have no problem with that. Gilles and Cheryl were beyond magnificent and got perfect scores on both the waltz and the salsa. Sublime. They are clearly in the lead and I have not doubt that they are going to the finals. They should. If you didn't see their dances look them up and watch them.

Shawn and Mark had a great night. They did a wonderful tango. I have to tell you, I would love to learn a tango but I suspect my constant laughing would be an issue. She totally delivered and they got a 30, their first perfect score. It was awesome. Their jive got a 26. I want her shoes. That put them in second place with a total of 56.

And Ty and Chelsie were in fourth place. You knew that even before they danced. Who knew you could waltz to Lynyrd Skynyrd? Well, you can, to Tuesday's Gone. Their very clunky waltz got a 25 and their samba got a 23 which gave them a 48. Ty certainly wins most improved dancer ever. I don't expect him to move on and I don't think he expects it either. But I have certainly enjoyed getting to know him.

Tonight it's the three guys on Idol. They will each do two songs. One the judges have chosen for them and one they have chosen themselves. Here's some trivia for you. Paula Abdul's new song "I'm Just Here for the Music" was co-written by Danielle Brisebois. Name sound familiar? She wrote Natasha Bedingfield's "Unwritten" and "Pocketful of Sunshine." No, that's not it. She was a kid on "All in the Family." Played Stephanie when that TV show jumped the shark. Yes, that very same former actress Danielle Brisebois. How about that? Kylie Minogue also recorded "I'm Just Here for the Music" and Danielle wrote a song on Clay Aiken's Measure of a Man album, so she has American Idol connections. Danielle is now 40 years old.

Now that I've just blown your mind, I will leave you to let it all sink in. Jim's birthday is Sunday. He's expecting a gift.

Make sure you keep checking back to the website www.thejaneellen.com. You'll be pleasantly surprised.


The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #45 Mon 05.11.09

Thank goodness Jim watches a lot of television. That way I can keep up. Celebrity Apprentice is over. Even though I only knew who half of the celebrities were. Joan Rivers and Annie Duke (a professional poker player) were the last two contestants. Joan won the contest for her charity God's Love We Deliver. Her charity started out delivering food to AIDS victims. Now I think it delivers to other terminally ill if I followed the promo correctly.

Amazing Race concluded with Harvard graduates/brother and sister tea Tammy and Victor Jih winning the race. The cheerleader girls came in second which means an all girl team has yet to win the race. And the team Jim was pulling for, the mother and son one, came in third. They had a substantial lead but he just couldn't figure out the surf board challenge and got behind. This was season 14 of the Race.

So, how old is the last surviving person who was aboard the Titanic? She's 98. The Titanic went down in 1912 and Millvina Dean was 6 weeks old. Turns out she needed money to pay her nursing home bills so a photo of her hands signing an autographed was sold and publicized. Word reached James Cameron, Kate Winslet, Leonardo DiCaprio and others. And now there's enough money in her fund to pay her expenses for the rest of her life.

Ah, Star Trek XI. It was everything I had hoped it would be and more. Even Jim said it was a good film. And you know he hates everything. I had predicted a weekend take of around $70 million and, of course, I was right. Friday through Saturday it brought in $72.5 million. Add Thursday's take and it's more like $76.5 million. This means more than your core Star Trek fans went to see it. As well they should.

You don't have to be a Star Trek fan to enjoy it as a good action/sci-fi film. You don't have to know anything about Star Trek to follow the storyline either. However, if you do know the original Star Trek series and specifically the film Wrath of Khan, you will be thrilled with the homage paid and lines lifted for your delight. There's a lot to please the Star Trek fan in this film. Jim's only complaint was the Ewok with the skin issues that showed up with Scotty. Yeah, there were a Star Warsian creature or two tossed in. But JJ Abrams is a Star Wars guy. However, I really have no complaint. Khan is my favorite Trek film and this one equals it if not betters it. That's saying a lot.


The One About Mortality

First, let me make this clear, I have many friends who have the same or similar names. I often write about my close friend Brien Travis and I want you to know he is alive and well.

Saturday night before Mother's Day, a friend of mine from school died of a heart attack. I am shocked to hear of a heart attack in one so young. I am saddened beyond belief for countless reasons. One being we had not kept in touch. I suppose there never was much of a reason to. Our mothers were friends. We had mutual friends. We always knew what the other was doing. And I can't remember ever calling each other in high school. Yet our families and friends have been mutual since the second grade. So you see, I never thought there would be a world without Brian McCoart.

In my eyes Brian will always be big and strong. Standing there with a chewed up drinking straw in his mouth, he was the picture of virility. (I always worried he would swallow and choke on that straw though.) Brian and I were friends and yet I have no doubt he was one to call me Jane the Brain or Goody-Two-Shoes. I didn't care. I liked him too much. I did wish he would've avoided me as a target during those grueling dodge ball games we were forced to play at St. Bernadette. But I was so slow-moving, I'm sure he couldn't help himself. He was just so intensely likeable.

Perhaps because he is part of a group of people that so strongly imprinted upon me that I can remember how he parted his hair, how he walked, how he smiled, and I don't even recall the last time I saw him. That's probably the benefit of having gone to such a small school where most of us stayed together all through the elementary years. In Brian's case, we went to high school together as well.

I got the news about Brian from my friend Jay. We've been friends since we were 13. He lived across the street from Brian. I spent most of Sunday just thinking about Brian McCoart and remembering. I had no idea there were so many Brian memories tucked away. I regret now that I had not taken the time to reconnect with him.

Yes, he knew where I was. I know that. I went to college and then left the state. I don't go to Virginia very often. Maybe the last time I saw him was at his father's funeral. That was a really good wake right before the ceremony. My husband was shocked at all the talking and laughing right next to the body. Everyone was happy. Not that the man was dead. Of course not. I suppose you have to be there to appreciate an Irish Catholic wake. It can be a joyous occasion.

As I suppose it is meant to do, this death has caused me to think about the big picture. I do tend to get mired in minutiae. First of all, if I go tonight, I'm sorry. The house is a mess. Nothing's in order. But, it never has been. Small parts of my life are well organized and the rest is just a bit untidy. It always has been. I am guessing that my tendency toward procrastination and sloppiness is not going to change. I might modify it from time to time, but Felix Unger I will never be. Hey, I am old enough to know my own limitations.

This does compel me not to waste anything. Time. Opportunity. Friendship. Family. Well, family's stuck with me. My friends could dump me if they wanted to to. Opportunity I have to make for myself and time, hopefully, is on my side. But time, that's the tricky one. It's the only one out of my control.

I'm sure Brian felt the same way. Who wouldn't? He didn't get up Saturday morning and expect to die Saturday night. I'm guessing he had things he had planned to do. Things that were important to him. Since I had my job taken from me in January, there have not been as many things that were important to me as there once was. I think it's time for that to change.

I'll miss you Brian.


The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #44 Fri 05.08.09

There's a very funny video on The Onion about the new Star Trek movie. Delightful. It's only a few minutes long and basically says that Trekkies are made that the movie is good and the acting isn't wooden and there's no subtitles for Klingon. Just rollicking good fun. But The Onion always is. If I have a most excellent day, I will see the film twice today. But will settle for one viewing in a 24 hour period. Hey, sometimes you've just got to spread yourself around.

Jim and I were listening to Howard Stern yesterday on the way to see the plastic surgeon (I am no longer wearing the face bra, just all bandaged up). Howard can be a brilliant interviewer. He thinks Star Trek XI will make $100 million this weekend. I was just going to predict $70 million. He's seen it, I haven't. Yet. However, he was asked at the premiere a question that both Jim and I would've answered in the same way. Correctly. Smugly. Who were the first enemies on Starfleet? Romulans. Those who were not versed in the original Star Trek just thought that Klingons and The Borg were a problem. Bah.

Read a great article at Slate called There's No Klingon Word for Hello. It was written by linguist Arika Okrent about how complicated the Klingon language truly is. It was created by Marc Okrand, who also wrote the Vulcan dialogue used by Spock and Saavik in Star Trek II. But that dialogue just had to match the actor's mouth movements to be believable. Okrand created a very complex language with Klingon that about 30 people truly know. Fascinating. The Klingon Dictionary has sold over 250,000 copies. Hard to believe I don't have one.

If you've been wondering where Adam Cravens has been, he has been working two jobs and has been unable to make the podcast of late. He will return soon.

Survivor is down to five and Coach is still in it. Debbie tried to convince the others that now was the time to get rid of him. And so she is the one who is gone. Turns out Taj is the wife of former Titans running back Eddie George. All the family members were on as a surprise last night.

To another sister of mine. Happy Anniversary. This is your card. And a correction, we have five nephews, not three or four. I would never forget You. And two nieces. And one great niece. So there. And unlike Jim, I know their birthdays.

If you're in the Putnam County area tonight, drop by the Fairgrounds 6pm rain or shine for Relay for Life. Our Brien Travis is singing the national anthem at the beginning of the event and then he and Kevin Welch, the younger Kevin Welch for those who remember the country music singer/songwriter from the 90's--not him--but a great Kevin just the same--they're performing a few songs around 6:30pm. One is Brien's original This Fairytale, the one we did the video to which you can find on www.thejaneellen.com.


The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #43 05.07.09

What an interesting study I can across. Organic, fancy-schmancy dog food is of such high quality that somebody decided to do a study. 3 out of 18 people tested couldn't tell the difference between such dog food and one of my favorite things, for real, liverwurst. I do love liverwurst aka braunschweiger. My friend Mike and I share a roll of it about once or twice a year because we know it's not good for us and our respective spouses don't eat it.

Idol was a bit of a surprise because they told Kris, who I thought would go, that he was safe right off. Turns out Allison went home last night and the three guys get to visit their home towns next week. Brien is bummed. He now thinks Kris might win and that ticks him off. Jim thinks that might happen as well.

No Doubt performed I'm Just A Girl and Gwen said they're hoping a tour will put them in mind to write an album. And Paula danced and lip-synced her latest song. It is the first time Paula Abdul has performed on the show so the album must not be selling well.

Lost was awesome. And it ends next week. I'm telling you, it doesn't look good for Miles seeing as his dad, Dr. Chang, knows that adult Miles is his son and adult Miles got closure seeing how his dad had to yell at his mom to save her and infant Miles to get them to leave the island before the explosion that killed the Dharma initiative people. Charlotte came back and died, even though as a girl you see her leave. Daniel got shot by his mother. I'm telling you, I'm worried for Miles. The whole idea is Daniel was going to set off a bomb to set things right because the bomb would destroy the device that was responsible for bringing down Oceanic flight 815. However, by doing that and changing the future, that means Kate and Jack never meet because if the plane doesn't crash they have no need to speak on the plane. A dilemma. In the meantime, in Lost's present time, newly risen John Locke says he's going to kill Jacob. Does that mean prove Jacob doesn't exist? Is Richard who never ages really Jacob? Richard is hot by the way. Hate it that Lost ends next week. My depression never ends.

On that note I must go see my plastic surgeon to see how this neck is healing. The only reason I'm leaving the house. Hey, I haven't worn shoes since I saw her last Friday. Haven't worn shoes since last Friday. Even though Brien begged me to put on my Vera Wangs the other day. So I'm off.


The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #42 Wed 05.06.09

Well, what a night rock night on American Idol turned out to be. Unlike disco night were there was very little boogie brought to the stage, guitarist Slash turned out to be an excellent mentor. Jim did ask if there any rock songs written at some time other than the 70's. Well, maybe not any great ones. And Adam Lambert, or Glambert as one of his fan posters said, did wonders with Led Zeppelin's Whole Lotta Love. Hard to do. I mean, almost impossible to do. He had the look, the deliver and the vocals to back it. It dawned on me that if there were a Broadway show for him to be in, it should be Jesus Christ Superstar which also, totally rocks.

Allison followed with Janis Joplin's Crybaby and did a commendable job with it. She did step up and show some much needed personality when talking with the judges who thought Janis was a good choice but maybe Piece of My Heart should've been chosen. She said that's always done on Idol. She's right. New to the show, duets. Kris and Danny sang Renegade by Styx. Together they harmonized well but Danny did outsing Kris.

Then Kris had to go and sing a Beatles song. Why, why, why did you do it Kris? Sure, Jim pointed out, Aerosmith also had a hit with it. But still. And no, it's not the best Beatles song ever. It was just OK for me. Danny attempted Aerosmith's Dream On. Another tough call. I thought he nailed the final notes in what we heard of the rehearsal but, uh, not so much in performance.

Then you had a great pairing of Allison and Adam with Slow Ride. They really do complement each other vocally. Brien now thinks it will be Allison and Adam as the final two with Allison winning it. I think last night saved her from going this week. The only one I'm sure of staying is Adam. I tend to think Kris is going, but honestly, it could be Danny. And if Danny does go then I do think it will be Allison and Adam at the end. I had been thinking Danny and Adam. We shall see. Daughtry and No Doubt both rock it tonight.

Dancing With the Stars was shocking at best. With two weeks left to go you have Gilles and Cheryl in the semi-finals, plus Melissa and Tony, and Shawn and Mark. That left Lil' Kim and Derek and Ty and Chelsie. Clearly Ty goes home. Obviously, Ty knew that. But no. Lil' Kim was eliminated. Unbelievable. I still can't get over it. As my mom said, people vote on likeability not ability. And mama's always right.


The Jane Ellen Experience Podccast Summary #41 05.05.09

Happy Cinco de Mayo and Happy Anniversary to my sister. This is your card. Tonight is Rock Week on American Idol. Slash is the mentor to the final four. Ooh, dangerous. I wonder. Will it be like disco night was when the songs were undiscofied? What will they do? Allison should do Heart of Stevie Nicks. Adam should do Pat Benatar. And really slow it down. Just kidding. By rock do they mean rock or do they actually mean pop? You never know with Idol. And will they each do one song and a lot of filler or two songs each? So many questions.

I had some of my questions answered today. There's a difference between your girlfriends and your guyfriends. Both of whom care about you. I'm not going to name names here but one of my guyfriends has been my steady rock regarding my recent surgery and has constantly reassured me that everything is fine and the swelling will go down before I know it. One of my girlfriends said Whoa sister. That's some pretty serious stuff you're dealing with. Maybe you had better just stay in seclusion like Greta Garbo until you can be seen. Both essentially saying the same thing and yet, somehow, putting it differently. I have come to realize I may never leave the house again except in disguise. You think I'm kidding? Oh, I'm not. The more I think about it, the more doable it becomes. Until this swelling goes down, unless you're my surgeon, you're not seeing me.

Dancing With The Stars they had to do a ballroom number and a Latin dance. Shawn and Mark started out the night with a quickstep and a standing ovation. They got a 27 for some great choreography. Then Ty and Chelsie did a really good tango. Scored a 25. Lil' Kim and Derek also got a 25 for their waltz. I have meant to say all season that the stylist on this season's DWTS has been using some gorgeous bracelets. They also got a standing ovation and Bruno said something classic to Lil' Kim "You try to be a lady you're more comfortable being a tramp."

Gilles and Cheryl excelled at a foxtrot to Fever and scored a 29. It was delicious. Melissa and Tony danced to Angel and their waltz got a 27 and a standing ovation. Jim liked her outfit. Yes, Jim commented on clothes. Then we moved to the next round in which the celebrities had to do 15 seconds of a solo during some part of the dance.

Shawn and Mark did a terrific paso doble and got another standing ovation and a 29 which means their total score was a 56. Ty and Chelsie did a rumba and got a 21. Ty's solo for his wife Jewel was entertaining. A great rumba it wasn't. 46 was their total and probably his final week on the show. Lil' Kim and Derek did a salsa and got a 27. Her solo was smokin' and their final score was a 52. Cheryl and Gilles practicing the rumba was hilarious. She said "you look like a monster, I hate that." They danced to Sexual Healing and received a standing ovation. He had been wanting to do the rumba all season. I have to say, his solo at the beginning was a bit odd, sort of moonwalkie. They got a standing ovation, a 27 from the judges, and a final score of 56 which tied them with Shawn and Mark for second. And Melissa and Tony got a perfect score for their salsa. What I think may win it for them in the end is remarks like she made during practice alone the lines of: I'm not a celebrity so can I skip the solo part. She is charming and yet delivers on the dance routine too. Their total was 57.

Star Trek opens Friday. Brien is already gathering his Star Trek toys from Burger King. And collecting Star Trek glasses. I've touched his Kirk and it makes a noise. Very impressive. Of course, it comes in the kids meal. Keep that in mind. Adam is also breathless with antici--say it--pation. (Just threw that in for any Rocky Horror fans reading this.) Jim and I discussed our favorite Star Trek episodes. I thought he meant original series and I'm torn between Trouble with Tribbles, Mirror Mirror and Amok Time. He started naming Next Generation episodes. That's not what we were talking about. (His is Best of Both Worlds Part 1.)

I'm going back into seclusion. Have some Mexican food. It's the right thing to do.


The One About My Face

On April 28 I had another surgery to remove the excess skin that I view as closure to losing over 200 pounds since my gastric bypass RNY in 2002. To many, I am quite sure, it has seemed the height of vanity. But they never waddled in my shoes. In December I had my body surgery when 15 pounds of skin were cut off just from my torso. At the end of April I had done the one thing that no one else I know has had done. And yet, they all (those who lost a great deal of weight) tell me they wish they had. The extra skin on the neck had to come off. It's called a chin and neck lipectomy.

Sure, you've seen photos and and you've probably never noticed anything that needs removing. But seriously, do you think I would let a photo taken at a bad neck angle be published with my blessing? I worked too hard to let an icky photo like that get out. Because I've got tons, no pun intended, with plenty of chins in them, prior to surgery.

However, being me, I've had complications. Now, as you read this, hopefully all will be resolved. I trust my surgeon implicitly. So I really have no worries. But when you're sitting home alone with a face bra on, and you have to look at yourself as you heal twice a day, it gets a tad depressing. I am really, really swollen. And all of this swelling is supposed to go away. And I'm sure it will. Like I said. I have faith. It's also supposed to take three weeks and it hasn't been that yet. You know how I like immediate gratification.

But other than the staff at her office in Nashville and the hospital, and a few people I know at CVS (and that was at a distance), the only people who have seen me since the surgery are my kids--and I won't let them see me with the bandages off, my husband, and my friend Brien. As a matter of fact, Brien was the first to see the neck, even before me. He was the one who told me I didn't want to see it. Turns out it looked worse than it really was.

It's given me time to think though. How long can I go without leaving the house? With the exception of going to the doctor's office of course. My husband has been doing the grocery shopping and taking the kids to and from daycare. He and Brien give me news of the outside world. They're really all I need. If only the new Star Trek movie wasn't coming out this week. That vexes me. Because I can't leave the house in this condition.

Brien is performing at the Putnam County Fairgrounds May 8 Relay for Life at 6 pm. He's singing the National Anthem then doing three songs around 6:30pm. I was planning to attend. I have thought of wearing a wig over the face bra then putting on a kerchief and a turtleneck and sunglasses. I wouldn't stand like that, would I? Because if this swelling isn't gone it's not going to be paraded in front of 500 people.

Other than that, I don't have to be seen until our nephew gets married on May 22. Surely by then my neck will be able to be seen by others. If not, I could wear a bag over my head like the Elephant Man. I am not an animal. I am also not going to show up anywhere swollen like I am as I write this.

So, call me vain. Call me whatever you want. But call me is what you'll have to do because you won't be seeing me in person until I'm fully healed.

The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #40 Mon 05.04.09

Thought you'd want to know that today is Star Wars day. It's the fourth of May. May the fourth be with you instead of the force. Get it? Oh, I know it's a bit of a stretch, but I didn't come up with it. There's more sci-fi coming your way as the new Star Trek movie opens this week. Yay!

Celebrity Apprentice ends next week so there were three firings last night. Oddly enough, Clint Black was fired after his team failed in the song writing competition for Chicken of the Sea. Then Piers Morgan came back to fire two more celebrities. Of course, Joan Rivers had returned, even though she stormed out last week after her daughter was fired. And Joan got to stay, along with the poker player with whom she does not get along. That means the two who were fired were Jesse James and Brandy the Playboy Bunny.

Amazing Race wraps up in Maui next week and the final three are Tammy and Victor, Jaime and Cara, and Margie and Luke. If Jaime and Cara win they will be the first all female team to win the race. Jim is pulling for Margie and Luke. They are a highly-competitive mother and son team and Luke is deaf. The race is hard enough for those with all their senses and yet it has not slowed him down. Now, as to why Kisha and Jen didn't make it out of Beijing, well, a bathroom stop prevented them from racing to Phil. Had they not stopped they would've beaten Jaime and Cara. I have three sisters. If I had stopped to go to the bathroom with a million dollars at stake I really don't think they would ever let me live it down. Good for Kisha and Jen that they can. If they can. Also, while in Beijing another reason why I'm not on the race, they had to eat fried grasshoppers. Just not happening. Not for a million dollars. Not for any amount. OK, maybe for twenty million. And just one fried grasshopper.

Speaking of weird food, www.thejaneellen.com is undergoing a serious facelift over the next 48 hours. We've already added Cookeville and Putnam County news with The Scoop gathered by Jim. That's been up a week and added to daily. Now you're going to see everything look different. And the recipes are about to be easier to access with photos. Should you be looking for a recipe you can email through the website or post on the message board. And, once I've recovered from this surgery, we are going to start filming the cooking of all these recipes and the eating of the weird foods. Here are some suggestions we've received so far: hot dogs and applesauce, Nutella and cooked eggs, peanut butter sandwich in chili, bleu cheese dressing and dark chocolate, green banana and bacon sandwich, peanut butter and yellow mustard sandwich, raw spaghetti in pickle juice, strawberries and cream with bacon, bacon covered in chocolate, peanut butter bologna and ketchup sandwich. Post your suggestion on the Chat Jane message board or email it through Contact Jane so we can use it on the vcast. And be sure to check the site as there be more videos, movie, fashion, news, weather, and entertainment for you.


The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #39 Fri 05.01.09

Happy May Day. Today turned out to be much happier than it began seeing as I thought my face was slipping off. I'd show you the picture but honestly, it's a bit graphic. Let's say, stomach-churning. And the photograph is worse than it was in person. Because I lost over 200 pounds I had a lot of redundant skin and lately I've been getting that business cut off. Tuesday I had it taken off of my neck. You'd be surprised at how much was swinging in the breeze there. I have to wear this thing called a face bra. Or, as Wendy puts it, monkey sock. Well, the thing was so tight that I just had to mess with it. I was told I could adjust it. Brien was with me and he said he wanted to looked first. His expression was enough. Then he told me "you don't want to see that." It looked like a gaping open wound. To cut to the chase, even though it appeared that all the stitches had come undone, only one or two had. All the nasty red stuff was surgical material and gauze and stuff like that. It was just blood-soaked and stuck to my neck and chin so that it appeared to be my skin coming off. Yeah, scary looking. But once my doctor saw it she and I both were relieved. My face is not sliding off. Other than being swollen, it looks fantastic. Which is why I go to Caroline Chester, she's a genius.

No Doubt has reunited after five years of being apart. Does that make you feel good? Everything makes me feel good today. My face isn't falling off.

Sierra is off of Survivor. The intensely annoying Coach remains.

Movies out today are Ghosts of Girlfriends Past, Battle for Terra, and X-Men Origins: Wolverine. Care to guess which one will be number one at the box office?

Next week two equally huge events happen. Star Trek XI opens and Brien Travis performs at the Putnam County Relay for Life accompanied by Kevin Welch. Not to be missed. Understandable how these two giant events can be confused, but there's time to do both.

And I must now change some gauze and rejoice in the fact that my face is where it should be. Really, you should've seen it. It's better that you haven't.