The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast #199 Thu 12.31.09

To wrap up this whirlwind of a year, Jim and I discussed many a New Year's Eve tradition. And the all important distinction between Guy Lombardo and Vince Lombardi. It's subtle, but it's there. If you don't know who either of them are, well, all the more reason to listen at Hear Jane on www.thejaneellen.com.

New Year's has never been a favorite "holiday" of mine as I don't trust other people on the road and have no desire to mix it up with them. If you are out and about feel free to be wary. Drive safe. And there is never, ever, any reason to drink and drive. Ever.

Jim claims that I cast spells on places in which I used to live and found a story about a whacked out mom from Fredericksburg, VA. Oh, it's mighty entertaining. Well, scary really. Fortunately, her kids are OK. Now. And no, I didn't know her.

Do I have a resolution? No. I don't make them. Hard to mess with perfection really. We did discuss a Gallup Poll of most admired people. I had a hard time with that too. Jim said apparently I only admired myself. See, I don't admire people for simply being famous. The people on the list weren't on mine. I have nothing against those on the list. I just felt they were there because those being asked expected them to answer with those names, like Oprah. I have no Oprah issues, expect perhaps jealousy over her brilliant marketing. You know what I mean? Anyway, I admire my friend Shan most more than the former first lady. You see, I actually know Shan. I'm also the type of person who doesn't respect you because you have a title. I respect you only if you earn my respect.

On the other hand, Wendy found me some really cool wetsuits that look like original series Star Trek uniforms. Suh-weet.

Have a wonderful New Year. The show will be back Monday. Site updates will be there this weekend, the good Lord willing, the creek don't rise, and Brien's computers don't get more viruses. Thank you for a great first year with www.thejaneellen.com. I appreciate it.


The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast #198 Wed 12.30.09

Adam Cravens and I enjoyed our special time together, the last show we would do for 2009. Don't worry, Adam and I will do more next week. We geeked out talking about the Family Guy DVD Something Something Dark Side. We chatted about Adam's Christmas gifts, something we had entirely overlooked before. We did not write a song for Brien as it had made his stomach churn on Tuesday. Hilarious as we found it. The window to his soul is now shut to us. I really let Adam have free reign, as I usually do. Lot's of geek speak. It felt good.

We talked about when it is appropriate to speak to someone in a urinal. And how many urinals will now have an image of a fly in them because it seems guys like to aim and it they like to aim at bugs. Seems having the image of a bug is so enticing that it drastically reduces spillage. No joke.

Adam will be adding to Geek Chic in the coming weeks. More changes are coming to the website. Photo shoots of the sci-fi pleasing nature are being planned. Lots of goodies are coming your way. And if you are in the Nashville area, you don't want to miss A Fashion Affair January 30. Details at www.thejaneellen.com. And remember, you can hear all our podcasts on iTunes or by clicking on Hear Jane.


The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast #197 Tue 12.29.09

Ah, Tuesday. Adam Cravens and I had a bang up quality comedy show if I must say so myself. It was a show of much celebration. Wendy, who kindly does much of our research for us, had her 31st birthday. Wendy is also responsible for getting the latest book and music releases for the Entertain Yourself Page on www.thejaneellen.com.

We then dissected our Brien Travis. Brien only expresses himself through his music and Adam said artists are like that, music is the window to his soul and so on. Only it's hilarious when Adam says it. Then we started to write a song for Brien. And it went downhill from there.

Adam saw Sherlock Holmes and was pleased with it. We made many double entendres as Adam ate sausage and nuts. Just not together. Plus, we talked about the EW Top 10 movies of the decade. It was a most excellent time.

There's a new recipe of the week posted on how to deal with leftover turkey with a bit of an Asian feel. It's in the Cook Jane section. And everything you want to know about A Fashion Affair is on the main page. Do come, won't you?


The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #196

What were the coolest things you were given this Christmas? I'll admit, I was loaded down with some awesome stuff. Here, let me list some for the burglars. Some jewelry from Ireland, a gorgeous faux fur scarf, an amazing black purse, a Beatles belt buckle, and the most divine smelling perfume from SJP called Dawn. I did not, however, receive a Kindle. That little item was the most gifted item purchased from Amazon. It's main competition is the Nook e-reader from Barnes & Noble. (All I'm saying is if they don't do the audio books I just recorded, don't get them.) I am quite the Amazon shopper myself. I did not, however, purchase any of the following. For vdeo games it was the Wii Fit Plus with the Balance Board. I don't see Adam Cravens playing that. Though I'd like to. It would be video-worthy. New Super Mario Brothers and Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. Microsoft Office Home and Student 2007, the Nokia 5800 Xpress Music, and Brien Travis's Tales of Lazy Wednesdays. Hey, I told you he was big in Japan. What really set Jim off was the fact that Amazon shoppers bought more than 50 times more light therapy devices this season than there are days with sun in the city of Seattle during an entire year. If you would like to hear him go off on how people with SAD lived in the Dark Ages without light therapy devices, click on Hear Jane at www.thejaneellen.com.

New recipe of the week is a saucy way to deal with turkey leftovers. And it has a bit of an Asian twist to it to make a not-so ordinary Turkey Sandwich. Or sure, cut the carbs, make a salad. It's in the Cook Jane section. All the details regarding A Fashion Affair, a charity event featuring the designs of the world famous Manuel, are now up on the main page so read on and do try to attend if you're in Middle Tennessee January 30.

Hey, want to do something really fun? Climb into a cage baited for a large animal with really sharp teeth and make funny faces while you're friend takes pictures. They didn't make it to the Darwin Awards, but almost qualified.

Tuesday Adam Cravens returns to the show. He alleges he is bringing his cousin. I told him he had better be funny. We shall see.


The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #193 Tue 12.22.09

I have been mocked by several people, and yet others have been amazed at the brilliance behind blending the what we deemed the necessity of holiday baking for gifts and the the planning meeting for A Fashion Affair. We put the two events together and it was divine. More people should have baking meetings. We accomplished a great deal. No joke either. Shan and Stephanie and I produced about 30 gift baskets of homemade treats and I am not bragging when I am saying that if you got one, you were lucky. We got a lot of planning for the event done too. World famous Manuel is not the only designer featured, gown designer Nina D. and furs from Gus Mayer. I will keep you up to date on all you need to know. I will hit you with it at the first of the year. The show is January 30 and I am hosting.

I did geek out a little bit on the way to Franklin because I saw a kingfisher. Hadn't seen one in years and I used to border on being a hardcore birder. Well, Shan had taken a fistful of mocking pills and let me have it with bird questions and there I had to go and answer her and before I knew it I had started to tell her how you had to count them (because there's a trick to it you see) and it all went downhill from there. And then I told her the difference between a red-winged hawk and a sharp-shinned hawk and she feigned interest. Even I could see her eyes glaze over and I was driving.

Jim had some holiday stories to share. He is ever so jolly. Do listen www.thejaneellen.com click on Hear Jane. Jay Frankenfield has shared a lovely recipe and some great things to do in the new Can You Dig It Column. And Jim has written not one but four new book reviews all under Read Jim.

The One About Friends

I write this knowing that as soon as I finish it, I will think of people I have left out. So, at the get go, I make my apologies. Monday I spent the day with two of my friends, Shan and Stephanie. And as we had our now infamous baking meeting (a great way to have a legitimate planning meeting by the way) it dawned on that, as they discussed their piano playing styles and so forth, that I, once again, felt talent-less. I tend to do this around those who can do things I can't do. I am drawn to artists and musician-types probably because I can't do what they can. And am even surprised when they are boggled at each other. For instance. Shan is a classically trained pianist. Brien Travis is not. They are both amazingly brilliant and brag on each other constantly. And yet Brien talks like he can't even play compared to Shan. It's simply apples and oranges. I can't play next to any of them. No fruit sums up my ability. Not even kiwi. And I took lessons. Point being, I feel talent-less. Until it dawned on me. I do have one talent. One amazing talent. One exceptional talent. I excel at picking friends. I really do. Even Shan has told me that if they have passed through my filter then that's good enough for her.

One of my favorite high school teachers, Mrs. Jewel Alexander, said that very few people could maintain a close friendship for more than five years with even as many as five people. I always thought that sad. I have maintained with many people for more years than I care to share with you now. I think almost daily of Chris Sabec and still talk to him and would do pretty much anything I could for him. He's now on the West Coast. But we still talk and every time we do we pick up right where we left off.

I either email, text or talk to Wendy every single day. We met on the first day, first period of high school. Every day we communicate. Wendy is a member of my crack research team on my website. She brings the funny. Sure, I now have thousands of people who check it out every day. But when it first started, I just had Wendy. In my mind, if I can make Wendy laugh then it's a good show.

Same thing with Eda. We've been tight since college. She is the other member of the crack research team and believes I am made for world domination. That is always good to know. Eda, like Wendy, has a real job and yet still takes time to write and do for me. See? I find and hold on to the good ones. It has to be a talent. Because I didn't attend Hogwarts and have not cast a spell that I am aware of.

Brien Travis is the reason www.thejaneellen.com exists. When I was laid off from my radio job he said you are going to do a podcast. I said a whatcast? And that's how it all started. And he is one extremely busy man. I call him my biggest cheerleader, but not in a fem way. He just wouldn't let me stop even when I thought no one was listening or clicking or reading or anything. And now it seems everyone is listening and visiting the website. It's extraordinary. And I owe it all to Brien who designed the website and spends every second of his spare time on it when he should be writing and recording his next album. I am thrilled and yet guilt-ridden at the same time. It's very hard to thank friends like that. It's hard to find friends like that too. They have to find you.

Shan, Beth, Stephanie, Anita, Morgan, Cassie, Nathan, my two Jays, Leslie, Adam, Lori and Joe, I mean I could just start listing how lucky I am to have such great people around me. And, as I said before, I will realize there were 20 more I should mention the minute this is made public. But the point is. I know now I have a wonderful talent and that is amazing friends. And I'm glad you have felt such pity for me to stick around for so long. Please don't go!


The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #192 Mon 12.21.09

Yes, it's been awhile. We started back on the podcasts last week and yet, for some reason, I couldn't get my act in gear to write the blogs. I have no valid excuse. I forgot. I forgot armed robbery was illegal. See, that made Wendy laugh. And other Steve Martin fans.

Jim and I talked about Avatar. About how we haven't seen it and it still made around $77 million. I thought it would hit closer to $100 million its opening weekend. However, it is expected to really rake it in when it opens in all the other markets, and, of course, with the DVD sales.

It seems so shocking because she seemed, to me anyway, to stay out of the limelight. Brittany Murphy died Sunday morning of cardiac arrest at the age of 32. I know her best as the voice of Lou Ann from King of the Hill. She made many films including 8 Mile with Eminem. No foul play is suspected. It's just sad. I have no idea if she had a pre-existed heart condition or anything like that. They will perform an autopsy.

Natalie White won the one million dollars on Survivor. Oddly, this is the only season in which I watched none of it. I always watch some Survivor. I feel so out of touch.

I didn't even know they ate horses in France. But yes, they totally do. Last year they ate over 15,000 of them. I don't know if they taste like chicken. Jim went off on how I eat snails. We started to quote O Brother Where Art Thou. And so on.

In New Zealand there has been much debate over a billboard put up by the local Anglican church that has Joseph and Mary in bed and says God, a hard act to follow. Needless to say, the local Catholic church is not amused. And they are not the only ones.

Do look at the website as the Entertain Yourself Page is all new. It's well worth your time with a week's worth of television choices on the Tube Job, music and book releases, DVD's, games, comic books and Hollywood goings-on. And that's just the beginning. Plus, the link to the big fashion show I'm hosting in January. Just go to www.thejaneellen.com.


The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #187 Tue 12.01.09

I was told it was hug a Catholic Day. Other than my two little girls, nobody hugged me all day. I feel so left out.

Jim and I did a very quick show today. I could say it was all Adam's fault. There, I just did. He said his truck's transmission went out. Then he said it didn't. OK. Just like my sister Patty thought Brien's saying his phone was running out of battery was his way of saying he was just going to end the conversation. Anyway, he alleges he will be doing Wednesday's show with me.

What did we talk about? Um, why I laughed when my sister Judy kept saying the word teabag over and over. (Don't worry, we don't really explain it, you can look it up yourself.)

We went over some great chalkboard gags from The Simpsons 21 glorious years of television. And William Shatner managed to catch and fire, and survive. The man tells a great story.

Why are the shows so short? Well, I am under some serious deadline pressure regarding four audio books. So I am doing some major reading and editing. And I am not alone in it either. I read until my left eye twitches unbearably. Then I sleep some, insert the caffeine IV, then start again. I will let you know when and where you can purchase the books. Oh, I won't make money off of it, but the books are interesting.

The One About Inside Jokes

Many years ago, when dinosaurs roamed the earth and I first started my illustrious radio broadcasting career, I remember learning to stay away from inside jokes. Listeners won't get them. It's a turn off. I never agreed with that. When I watched TV shows I loved it when there was an inside joke reference. Oh yeah, or when I listened to the radio. If there was something funny going on, even if I didn't get the whole thing, it amused me. Even better if one day I found out the whole story. I really ought to do this right. Let me Paul Harvey it. The REST of the story. So here are some odds and ends to inside jokes that you a) never even knew existed and b) will now get an explanation to. Here's an inside joke for you. This is the kind of thing I do when I don't have one cohesive idea for an entire column.

My friend Jay. That's Jay from high school. He was on the November 30 podcast so go listen to that one. We call each other cousin. We are not related. He and my sisters went to a Braves game in Atlanta one time. Because they felt everyone had such an outrageous southern accent in Jawgah, they began calling each other cousin. It stuck. Jay and I also refer to him as a minority. When he was a freshman in high school a photo of him appeared in The Oracle where he was identified as minority student Jay. Now, it might have been that he was the only student of Greek origins in a school of roughly four thousand students. In that case, he would have been a minority student. But normally, Greeks are not called minorities. However, Jay is. Jay and I do not say "excuse me" to each other we say "skew me" because we went on a Washington, DC museum excursion on our own and someone who was just near us the whole time kept saying it. You know how when you're in the grocery store and the same person is always with you through the aisles? Well, it was like that. The "skew me" really cracks us up. Feel free to use it. No Jay, I'm not going to talk about the woman saying "a Russian stoooooove" over and over. It just won't be funny to anyone else. I need to move on.

My husband Jim. "We can't leave, we're next to the salad bar." This makes perfect sense. You don't leave cash on the table next to a busy part of a restaurant. That's all. "You're the reason why the cat has no hair on his butt." Jim used to cause our cat, Merlin, who lived to be 16, a lot of stress. I'm sure. I remember saying it for good reason.

Brien Travis. My BFF. Why we call each other dahling. It's short for sweetie dahling. From Absoloutely Fabulous. A brilliant British TV show that ran from 1992 to 2005 that gives us much joy. But you do have to get British humor. Patsy and Edina appeal to us. Even though we are not whacked out drunks with eating disorders. They're right funny. By the way, Brien's CD Tales of Lazy Wednesday's would make the perfect holiday gift. Buy it today at Amazon or iTunes. It's less than ten bucks and would please me to no end. Dahling.

I call my mother Ma-MA because of The Addams Family. I named my first dog Magnum because it's Latin for great and it's in the neutered ending, as opposed to masculine or feminine, and he was neutered, my little joke. My husband's last name is Herrin. I have heron Christmas ornaments and one in the yard. Jim says no one gets that joke. It never fails to amuse me. I could go on. But I have to leave a few things a mystery.