The Jane Ellen Podcast Summary #11 Tue 03.24.09

The other day I started to tweet. That means I'm on www.twitter.com. If you're reading this, you can see the posts to the right, so, duh, you already knew that. Or maybe you are so enthralled you never look to the right. Which would be a problem at intersections. My Dad asked if I was on Twitter about a month ago. He thought it ridiculous that people posted they were brushing their teeth. I haven't seen that one. Yet. However, it's really quite clever because you are only allowed to use 140 characters. So you are forced to be very witty or very dull. Either way, it won't last long. You then choose who you follow. That means their 140 characters show up for your amusement.

I need to find out if my Maksim has the time to tweet. Brooke Burke is doing it. I know what she had for dinner Saturday night and that her kids kept her up last night. Oddly enough, my kids let me sleep last night. My dogs, however, were barking at something at 1am and so now I have a spike in my head. Which you already knew because I felt the need to post it. I wanted everyone to know my pain.

Because of the impending migraine, I'll just whip through Dancing With the Stars. And thank you Ida, I should be Maks's partner. Even though I thought he and Denise did way better than a 16 for their samba. He is not an attractive woman. He put on a pink dress to loosen her up. It didn't work. Chuck and Julianne continue to improve and did a terrific foxtrot, got a 23. They look great together. Holly and Dmitry got a 17 for their samba. I love it that she says she's "so uncoordinated." Well, she is. Much like Kim Kardashian, gorgeous and totally lacking in the ability to dance. Just not there. But I like her. She'll be gone soon.

Love, love, love Steve-O's determination. Again, must not judge a book by its cover. You think gorgeous Holly should be able to dance well. She can't. You think Steve-O is just wild and yet he cleans up so handsome and I really wish I could see him dance not in terrible pain. I ached for him last night. Plus, he and Lacey danced the foxtrot to Mraz's I'm Yours, a song I adore. But he could barely move. They got a 15.

Lawrence and Edyta scored a 20 with their samba to Can't Get Next to You, a great song made famous by The Temptations. His best dance so far. Shawn and Mark are one of three couples who got a 27. Their foxtrot was stunning. Bruno called her a "beautiful bejeweled hummingbird." They are so totally cute together and this was their best dance too. If only she would unhinge her jaw when she spoke.

Gilles and Cheryl. Why didn't they get a 30? I needed to light one up after that samba and I don't even smoke. He is so incredible. Oh my. I think I'm having a case of the vapors. I had to watch it again. In slo-mo. Then again. And again. He is so good. I cannot find words to describe my feelings on Gilles ability to dance. I would rather show him. Suddenly, my headache's getting better.

David and Kym got a 24 with their foxtrot. Steve Wozniak and Karina got a 10 with their samba. Yeah, pretty bad. He had pulled a hamstring and just can't dance. He's a genius, he doesn't need to dance. Karina looked super cute.

Melissa and Tony got a 27 with their foxtrot. They're awesome. Duh. Lil' Kim and Derek did a great samba. They got a 25 and Len said she had a "bionic booty." Funny. Ty and Chelsie got a 23 for their foxtrot. Go Ty. Never thought he would get this good. And the fact that she fell and he did a great save, in the beginning of their dance, and it didn't mess him up. It was just a great job.

Clearly, Steve Wozniak is the worst dancer and the judges have given him a super low score so I expect him to go this week. And Hall and Oates will perform on the results show.

The Twilight sequel, New Moon, comes out in November and the cool thing I think is the Wolf Pack of Native Americans in the book has actually been cast with all Native American actors.

Zac Efron dropped out of the Footloose remake. Did there need to be a remake? Anne Hathaway is going to be Judy Garland in the stage and film version of the book Get Happy: The Life of Judy Garland.

And, I would so totally do this, if only someone would a) ask and b) pay me enough money. Cindy Crawford has done a shoot for Allure and all she's wearing is soap. She's 43 and she's wearing soap. She looks gorgeous. It's well placed soap and it's full frontal but you don't see anything if you get my drift. Yes, I would do it. Pay me, airbrush me, I'm there.