And a million voices cried out in agony and said, "don't waste your money."

While I was in Atlanta this weekend, avoiding a HIRL with  ,  and I went with our collective brood of five girls to see an advance screening of Turbo.  The girls are aged 2 to 8.  They like it.  Under further questioning, my 8 year old said, "well, it wasn't actually funny, but good movies don't have to be funny." Damn her powers of reason.  Then she added, "but it was no Despicable Me or Mega-Mind."  

I was mildly amused at the attempt at a salt joke.  I heard Samuel L. Jackson speak of snakes and planes.  But that was just in my head.  If only.  

If I had but a fork I would've gouged out my eyes to prevent the 3D confetti flying into my line of vision.  Yet I would've still been able to hear the dialogue.  

I pretended Paul Giamatti was saying, "W NNNNN B C" and yet.  It.  Still Sucked.

Were the voice actors untalented?  No.  Was the animation shoddy.  No.  Was the story unacceptable?  No--don't give up on your dreams, your true friends and family believe in you and can surprise you, your heroes can be like other people too, and people go to car races to see wrecks.  It just wasn't entertaining.  At all.  To me. Or to Kelly.  So that makes it valid.  

If you are forced to take your offspring.  Fake an illness and pass the chore onto someone else.  Trust me.