5.14.2013

I Meant to do That

Have you ever waved back at someone who wasn't waving at you?  And then you responded by laying your forearm across your head to scratch your ear because you meant to do that?  Flop sweat stays with me for a solid 30 minutes when I pull that stunt.

Today was no different.  I got on the elevator with two men.  OK, I got on after a clever remark and then, because they were together, couldn't figure out if I should get on or off first, but I digress.  The taller one hit the buttons.  1 and LL.  They weren't sure at first.  What did I do?

Well, first I suppressed inappropriate laughter in the elevator because I kept hearing, "going down Mr. Tyler?" in my head.  I chose not to say that to two men with whom I was not well-acquainted and was also confined in a moving box.

I got off at LL.  I turned left.  They followed me.  Dammit!   Not my floor.  So I proceeded to walk out the door onto the roof of the parking garage.   Who puts a roof on the first floor?

What would you have done?  Turned around upon realizing your error and get back on the elevator?  No!  It was the Not You Wave on a much larger scale.  Two strangers could see me.  Plus all the hidden cameras I assume were watching.  I didn't see any.  That's why I said hidden.

There I am, on the roof, and immediately I pull out my phone. I meant to do that. Clearly I can't walk to my car, because it's under the roof.  My car knows I avoid direct sunlight at all costs.  I hear the men walk toward their cars as I pretend to check emails.  OK, I was actually checking actual emails.  But it gets better, because I totally commit to this roof charade.  I walk around the roof in the hopes that there was a way down without having to go back into the building.  Of course, no way out.

That's when I start with the impromptu photo session of the graffiti across the street and the tree pictures.  Satisfied, (faking satisfied, oh, I didn't fake it, I'm an actor remember?) I strode back into the building and got back on the elevator.  After I tried to leave via the stairs which only led to a different part of the first floor.  Stupid stupid stupid building design.

One LL later and I'm walking toward my own car.  I meant to do that.