The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #256 03.30.10

Yes, it was a quickie today. Adam and the Amazing Ray and I only had a limited amount of time to spend together today. But we did manage to pass on a few odd stories. There has been a study that says the "myth" of the grumpy old man is a myth indeed. Clearly, those who did the study do not know Jim. We also talked about a whacked out vegetarian who was ticked off at his grandmother's pot roast and went to a grocery store and hacked up $200 worth of meat. Certainly, a show worth listening to at www.thejaneellen.com. I had to high tail it to Nashville with our Brien Travis for a pre-birthday celebration. And it was exceptional.

The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #255 Mon 03.29.10

Threesome. Word of the day. Me, Adam and the Amazing Ray. It was a momentous occasion as they had never actually met before. I asked they were in love. They informed me that love takes time. Sigh. I had been a part of a conversation regarding threesomes, oddly enough. No, I have not actually taken part in one. But, you do need to hear the show to know what we spoke of. Excuse me. To know about which of we spoke. Don't want anyone to go all Churchill on me. What? You have to look that one up? Go ahead. Hear Jane at www.thejaneellen.com. It wasn't naughty talk, but we did have quite the time with it.

Adam says Hot Tub Time Machine is a must see. Just don't spend too much time thinking about the space time continuum. And it does keep with the theory that John Cusack and water means a good time. Oh, thank you Wendy, Rob's sitcom that should've made it was called The Winner.

We discussed how delicious a sausage Twinkie would be. And there was much rejoicing. Really, top-notch entertainment. Enjoy it, because tomorrow we will be in a super big hurry. Just warning you.

The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #252 Wed 03.24.10

Wings. Adam loves them. Hopefully, you do too. Because you get to hear him eat them throughout the entire show. Now, some people might think that shows are not for eating. We think differently. Plus, I know what makes Adam happy. He is a man who loves his meat on a bone and he loves his gristle. He has many a good story about it too.

So, there's that. More food came into play because there has been a study of paintings made from the past thousand years of The Last Supper. Seems, in those paintings, the portion and plate size has increased. It has been super sized. Interesting. This caused Adam and I to wax poetic about The Last Supper. We thought big thoughts.

The show also drifted toward Free Willy, whose name was actually Keiko, thank you Wendy. And the brilliance of last week's 30 Rock episode. It's magnificent. We mentioned The Italian. Oh this show is worth a good listen at Hear Jane www.thejaneellen.com. I do believe I snort laughed on several occasions.

The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #251 Mon 03.22.10

The Italian did me the honor of passing along his spaghetti sauce recipe. Now, I've never made sauce from scratch. I know, you're appalled. I've always doctored sauces. I took his recipe, made a minor change or two, let it cook about five hours, and it was divine. Shan said it was the best she had ever eaten. Jim said not as good as my doctored sauces. What can you do? Oh, then Jim went on to say I was insulting Italians, I forget why. But I'm sure there was a valid reason, in his eyes. By the way, on of The Italian's recipes is the Recipe of the Week under Cook Jane on the website.

Over the weekend I was part of the Extreme Fashion Show and wore an amazing gown, evocative of vintage Hollywood glamor created by friend Shane Langford. Jim said the dress was "nice" which, for him, is a huge compliment. However, he went on to say (on Saturday mind you) that he didn't like my hair up or the make up and in short preferred fat Jane to newly remodeled Jane. Do listen to this. Weigh in if you will. Hear Jane at www.thejaneellen.com


And it snowed today. How crazy. It will be sunny and 65 on Tuesday in Tennessee. Just bizarre. But Tennessee weather is like that. Wait five minutes and it's bound to change.

Do note, I made a genius discovery. I usually add a handful of chocolate chips to my brownies. This past weekend I also included a handful of Heath chips. They're teeny tiny Heath bar pieces, but without the chocolate. Insanely good.

The Amazing Ray will be on Tuesday's show, however, that means it will post after noon. Adam's schedule should allow him to be back on the show Wednesday.

The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #249 Thu 03.18.10

What will you do for your Little Debbie Oatmeal cookies? This 80-year-old took his hoe (had have taken his ho' that would've been an entirely different story, and perhaps more entertaining) and started to bang on his neighbor's door. He thought he had seven boxes of cookies in his house and was positive his neighbor and absconded with said cookies. Well, the police were summoned and they checked the guy's house. They found five boxes of cookies and a receipt showing he had bought only five boxes. So he had forgotten that he had only purchased five boxes and just forgotten. How droll. See, would've been funnier if he had been pounding the door down with an actual woman.

Some guy got on the public address in a Wal-Mart in South Jersey and did one of those "attention Wal-Mart shoppers, will all the black people please leave the store." Now, what would've made the joke funny is if he would've followed it with "would all the blonde women leave the store...would all the Asians leave the store... would all the nerds leave the store." You know, hit up everybody. Now I could see where that could be slightly amusing. Or, was it a black guy who did it? I have no idea, just speculating. Anyway, the joke was not well received, if indeed it was meant to be a joke. I mean, I'm guessing it was. I don't know, I didn't do it, I wouldn't do it. But that's beside the point. I just happen to come from the Don Rickles school of comedy, insult everybody. That's really my only point.

My other point is, everyone I know is on a Z-Pak this week. It's as if we're in a club. I feel certain mine will kick in any minute now. Like now. Or, wait for it, now. OK, until then. I'm done. The show amused me. Give it a listen. Friday's show will be up around 2pm central. Ish, or as close as I can get it. I would say by 2 is safe. And the amazing Ray will be doing it with me. Ray is amazing because there are so many accents in him you never know which one is going to come out. I'm all a tingle about it.

Until then have fun with the Thursday show. Listen to it once or twice even. You might learn something. Click on Hear Jane at www.thejaneellen.com. For instance, today I learned that children will paint on walls. Even the floor, or the fridge. Being a genius, I only have water-based paints in the house so it's like a two second clean up, but still, my mantra of "paper only" (meaning draw or paint on) has clearly not sunk in. Yet. I'm sure many other of my mother mantras will not sink in either like "no tattoos" or "he's no good for you" I could go on, but I won't waste my breath now, or then. See, I'm trainable.

The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #248 Wed 03.17.10

Happy St. Patrick's Day, or what's left of it. Adam and I had a lovely show. Listen and find out. I do believe I have heard great. Yes. I think amazingly funny was also said. Got a call from Irish Ray too. Was able to tie in the whole St. Patrick's Day snakes with the movie Snakes on a Plane. You need to hear it at Hear Jane www.thejaneellen.com. Got some comedy rolling.

Adam accused me of making up the words CookiePuss and Fudgie the Whale. But no. I was simply remember Carvel ice cream cakes. The commercials were classic. Honestly, Adam was positive I was making it all up. But mo, all real. No Carvel in Tennessee.

Anyway, it's almost tomorrow, there are clearly not enough hours in the day.

The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #245 Mon 03.15.10

Happy Ides of March. As any educated person knows, the ides is the 15th of March, May, July and October, and the 13th of the rest of the months. But the Ides of March was made famous because it was on that day. What, I have to tell you? One of the most famous hits in Italian mob history. Julius Caesar was stabbed by about 60 Roman Senators, including Brutus ("et tu, Brute?" and you, Brutus) on March 15, 44 B.C. But you knew that. Of course you did. Well, that's why I'm here, to remind you that ancient studies needs to be hammered into everyone's heads because it's cool and worthwhile. Even though Jim disagrees. But what does he agree on? So little.

Alice in Wonderland has made a gajillion dollars. OK, that's not a precise amount, but close. It was number one again over the weekend. Man that Irish wrestler guy with the red hair is really pale. But I digress.

So, let's talk Giant African snails. I must admit, this story gave me the giggles. I snort laughed. Couldn't stop. This guy, Charles L. Stewart, has smuggled these illegal snails into Florida. That's the issue. They are invasive. Hey now, here's why, they grow up to ten inches. See why I had issue? Hear Jane www.thejaneellen.com. Now he says it's part of his religion and he and his followers drink the snail juice. I don't know if they milk them or sqeeze them or squish them or what. You'd have to listen. I suggest you do.

And a woman who had been arrested for fraud had almosts thirty grand in bills AND receipts in her bra. That's a lot of paper. That's a really big bra. Let's visualize, shall we?

Site updates ready and waiting. Jay talks about asparagus in Can U Dig It. Go look.

The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #244 Thu 03.11.10

Things stick in my brain. And when I was at Gary and Cassie's house, his hymnal was open to a page that had In the Sweet Bye and Bye on one side and I'll Fly Away on the other. I connect I'll Fly Away so strongly with the film O Brother Where Art Thou that I start quoting lines from the film. Because I'm a Dapper Dan man. Could not help myself. I'm a bit obsessive compulsive that way. Cookeville, TN is mentioned in that movie too. Nice touch. Gary and I have decided to make our podcasts a little more regular. We had so much fun. I can't imagine why we wouldn't do that. I'll bring more baked goods. I promise. You can hear more from Gary at his new site www.ahymnaweek.com.

Adam Cravens hasn't been on the show lately not because he has been banished, has a case of leprosy, or has been taken by aliens, at least not according to what he says. He has been working. Which is ponderous. And helping out in the community theater production of Cinderella. This caused Jim to make remark. Do listen at Hear Jane on www.thejaneellen.com. Adam says he will be on Friday's show. He alleges.

Seems alleges is a word that some journalists are no longer allowed to use. Along with diva. Can't use diva? How can you describe me then? You simply must read this memo.

Hope all is well and wonderful with you. Am hoping to have The Italian on the show next week. Might need a translator. But it will be soooooo worth it. Grrrrr.

The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #243

Gary Chapman. What a show. Go listen. Now. I command you. Hear Jane at www.thejaneellen.com. It's one of the best. Gary sings, he dances. OK he just sings. Gary has a new website called www.ahymnaweek.com. You'll have to visit it or listen to the show to get the full story but the short version is, it's for his parents. It's beautiful.

You know, I've said it before, I'm just lucky to have talented friends. Makes me realize I'm just lucky. I can bake. I can accessorize. I can snort when I laugh. I don't really "do" anything. But Gary can sing and play and it's gorgeous. I even put it on video to prove it. Also to prove that I can accessorize.

We talked about how he knows all the ingredients to the famous Elvis fried peanut butter and banana sammich. It was made for him by the same guy who made it for Elvis. This was relevant because I brought my banana bread which I call The Elvis because of the bananas, a given, the peanut butter chips, and the chocolate chips as well. So terrific warmed up with buttah.

We chatted about Ouja boards and gulllible people. How we could make a few extra grand. Really, a show you shouldn't miss. I may even listen to it again. We will make it a regular thing, trust me. And my friend Cassie, The Mrs. Gary, we even dragged her into it as well. What a perfect day. How I love them both.

The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #242 Tue 03.09.10

The Oscar talk continues. Jim and I talked much about Jimmy Kimmel's Handsome Men's Club which is nothing short of hilarious. I almost got Jim to admit he was wrong regarding the first African American woman to win an Oscar, Hattie McDaniel. But it was Butterfly McQueen who said the "birthin' no babies" quote in Gone With the Wind. You had to have heard Monday's show to know what I'm talking about. Or maybe you don't care. I cared that I was right. So Jim agreed that we could all be right.

In Jersey about six women were hospitalized because they chose to get bathtub caulk in their butt for butt implants. Oddly enough, it's not a good thing to go to non-plastic surgeons for this sort of thing. Bathtub caulk for non-medical grade silicone. Seriously. They thought this was a good idea?

I share a story about a straight, male friend of mine who is regularly hit upon by gay men. It's worth a listen at Hear Jane www.thejaneellen.com.

Go to another straight male friend of mine's website www.ahymnaweek.com it's Gary Chapman. Jim shows how I will know none of the songs, yet have a great time with Gary as I do the show from his house tomorrow. If I can ever find it.

The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #241 Mon 03. 08.10

Gorgeous Monday, 70 degrees, Miss Slacker can't even write a blog in a timely fashion. What can I say. But that doesn't let you out of your obligation regarding today's show. That's the glory of a podcast. Every day I have people ask me why I'm not doing morning radio. It's been more than a year. I'm not going back. This is one of the things I do now. And you get it on iTunes for free whenever you want or listen from your PC whenever you want. No commercials. All me all the time. Sweet deal, isn't it? I should say so.

Today you get Jim and I talking about the Oscars. Clooney clearly making hand gestures to me throughout the show. Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin did a fine job though I felt Steve had the best lines. Robert Downey Jr. and Tina Fey were magnificent as presenters. And the biggest omission Bea Arthur and Farrah Fawcett left off of the In Memoriam, yet Michael Jackson remained. I have no issue with Michael being in, but the word given was they were left off because they were known mostly from their television work. Well, he was known mostly for his music. Happy place, Clooney. Sigh. I just know he smells good. Don't ruin it for me. It takes 82 years for a woman to win best director? For crying out loud.

Jim did his once a year bit of yard work for an hour or so and kvetched the rest of Sunday, and Monday. You see, he does clean out the gutter. But without gloves. How lame, and disgusting, is that? But then he doesn't collect the muck, or tree branches, he has torn down. That's for me to do. Luckily, I have people.

Go to the website, plenty of new stuff. There's a seafood dish, it's Lent you know. Jay's Can U Dig It is all about berries. And Adam has a new feature in Geek Chic. Do take a peek. It's www.thejaneellen.com. And the show is at Hear Jane.

The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #238 Wed 03.03.10

It's double three day. March the third. Adam called it triple play day. Yes, I know, I've been a total slacker regarding these updates. You'd think I had nothing to do. Today I found out that retail stores can resell used, as in previously worn, underwear. OK, a bra, well, ew, but, not usually an area known for fluids. That's really I'm going to say.

I can't believe I am going to say this though. I'm working on a recipe and, hard to believe, too much butter. Butter makes things spread. Insert joke here. In a cookie it can make it spread too much. So I switched it to a bar. Sure they taste great. But I'm still looking at a 7 when it should be a 10.

Oh, the show. Adam and I talked about my new friend John and whether or not he sounded like Fat Tony from The Simpsons. Adam assumed he sounded like one of the Mario Brothers. Not Mario Lopez. I think Adam's imitation sounded like the Lucky Charms guy by the way. Not like a pisan at all. But Adam's British accent only sounds like Ringo Starr so what are you gonna do?

We simply cannot do a show without mentioning Star Trek. Totally valid. You see, Adam and Brien and I, celebrating our geekiness. Have the original Star Trek communicator noise as our text message alert on our cell phones. The only problem is when we are all together. We realized why wasn't this a problem on Star Trek when their communication devices went off with the same noises? Didn't someone else think it was theirs? Then the comedy ensued. Do go to www.thejaneellen.com and click on Hear Jane. I found it most satisfactory.