The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #270 Mon 04.19.10

So hard to focus what with the poison whatever, ivy let's say. Had such plans for today. After the show plans. Now, I barely recall the show. Well, let me explain something. None of us recall the show seconds after we finish it. It's hard to explain. Once we empty our brains, they remain empty. Jim and I talked about some guy who says he's sensitive to electromagnetic fields and is suing his neighbor to get her to turn off her TV and such. I think he should move. Far, far away. Be a hermit or something. I'm not saying there isn't something wrong with him. Clearly there is. Clearly.

We discussed how Jim gets to work with the public more and get their germy germs. Nice. Wow, this stuff is itchy. It's just popping up all over me. Now my friend Rhonda got poison ivy from her cat. Oh yes. Cat got into it, she pet her cat, she got poison ivy. She's miserable. The cat, not so much. We're both living the Z-Pak life. Thank God for Z-Paks by the way.

There is a church, a Catholic Church, with a crucifix that has caused some disturbance. I don't see anything wrong with it. I get why some people think the shape on the abdomen looks like a penis, but the shape is ON THE ABDOMEN of Christ. It's abs. It's not a penis. It's a classic work of art. It's not pornographic in any way. Yet people are outraged. Look at it. If that same shape was on a different part of the body, sure, I get it. But it's on the abdomen. And it's on a crucifix. Seriously.

OK, so the rest of the show was I'm sure a laugh riot. I've been suffering from tooth pain for days and I barely recall my name. We're working on fixing that issue. In the late afternoon I was asked if I could try and pass as a Dolly Parton impersonator. That meant I had to put on fake eyelashes (which I always have in the house) and attempt to look like Dolly and then, here's the kicker, take pictures of myself. You know what? That's not easy. Sure I've got a tripod and a timer, but still. You know what I think? I think I don't look anything like Dolly Parton.

The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #268 Thu 04.15.20

Happy Birthday to my niece Melissa and Happy Tax Day! Jim and I commented on Tuesday's Hurley-centric episode of Lost. There are now what one can only call Spanx for men, but they're not Spanx, but you get the idea. There's a study about the attractiveness and success of mixed race people. Well, they are gorgeous. Hello. Halle Berry. And we had just an amusing show. Trust me. Then I got to go to the dentist and it was a delight. Well, I am fond of my dentist. But it is even better to have the feeling of my tongue back. Might even use it tomorrow. Go to Hear Jane at www.thejaneellen.com

The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #267 Wed 04.14.10

I know, I know, I've been a writing slacker. I'd give you valid reasons, but I'd have to write them down and quite frankly, I don't have the time or the patience. Today's show, do listen. (Hey, if you didn't hear how Adam and I brought together the Mickey Mouse clubhouse characters and questions concerning bestiality, that's Tuesday's show.) Adam has eaten and fallen in love with KFC's Double Down sandwich. He now wants all his sammiches in between two pieces of fried chicken. We sang the theme song from Star Trek's Enterprise. Several times. It had to be done. There were a few other sci-fi songs kind of thrown into the mix too. We talked about The Avengers. But not the one with Mr. Steed. Even though Adam patiently let me go on and on. Some sort of comic book thing. And Joss Whedon is involved so it could be all good. It's a must listen. I have to say I was amused. And really, isn't that what it's all about? Go to www.thejaneellen.com and click on Hear Jane.

The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #256 03.30.10

Yes, it was a quickie today. Adam and the Amazing Ray and I only had a limited amount of time to spend together today. But we did manage to pass on a few odd stories. There has been a study that says the "myth" of the grumpy old man is a myth indeed. Clearly, those who did the study do not know Jim. We also talked about a whacked out vegetarian who was ticked off at his grandmother's pot roast and went to a grocery store and hacked up $200 worth of meat. Certainly, a show worth listening to at www.thejaneellen.com. I had to high tail it to Nashville with our Brien Travis for a pre-birthday celebration. And it was exceptional.

The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #255 Mon 03.29.10

Threesome. Word of the day. Me, Adam and the Amazing Ray. It was a momentous occasion as they had never actually met before. I asked they were in love. They informed me that love takes time. Sigh. I had been a part of a conversation regarding threesomes, oddly enough. No, I have not actually taken part in one. But, you do need to hear the show to know what we spoke of. Excuse me. To know about which of we spoke. Don't want anyone to go all Churchill on me. What? You have to look that one up? Go ahead. Hear Jane at www.thejaneellen.com. It wasn't naughty talk, but we did have quite the time with it.

Adam says Hot Tub Time Machine is a must see. Just don't spend too much time thinking about the space time continuum. And it does keep with the theory that John Cusack and water means a good time. Oh, thank you Wendy, Rob's sitcom that should've made it was called The Winner.

We discussed how delicious a sausage Twinkie would be. And there was much rejoicing. Really, top-notch entertainment. Enjoy it, because tomorrow we will be in a super big hurry. Just warning you.

The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #252 Wed 03.24.10

Wings. Adam loves them. Hopefully, you do too. Because you get to hear him eat them throughout the entire show. Now, some people might think that shows are not for eating. We think differently. Plus, I know what makes Adam happy. He is a man who loves his meat on a bone and he loves his gristle. He has many a good story about it too.

So, there's that. More food came into play because there has been a study of paintings made from the past thousand years of The Last Supper. Seems, in those paintings, the portion and plate size has increased. It has been super sized. Interesting. This caused Adam and I to wax poetic about The Last Supper. We thought big thoughts.

The show also drifted toward Free Willy, whose name was actually Keiko, thank you Wendy. And the brilliance of last week's 30 Rock episode. It's magnificent. We mentioned The Italian. Oh this show is worth a good listen at Hear Jane www.thejaneellen.com. I do believe I snort laughed on several occasions.

The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #251 Mon 03.22.10

The Italian did me the honor of passing along his spaghetti sauce recipe. Now, I've never made sauce from scratch. I know, you're appalled. I've always doctored sauces. I took his recipe, made a minor change or two, let it cook about five hours, and it was divine. Shan said it was the best she had ever eaten. Jim said not as good as my doctored sauces. What can you do? Oh, then Jim went on to say I was insulting Italians, I forget why. But I'm sure there was a valid reason, in his eyes. By the way, on of The Italian's recipes is the Recipe of the Week under Cook Jane on the website.

Over the weekend I was part of the Extreme Fashion Show and wore an amazing gown, evocative of vintage Hollywood glamor created by friend Shane Langford. Jim said the dress was "nice" which, for him, is a huge compliment. However, he went on to say (on Saturday mind you) that he didn't like my hair up or the make up and in short preferred fat Jane to newly remodeled Jane. Do listen to this. Weigh in if you will. Hear Jane at www.thejaneellen.com


And it snowed today. How crazy. It will be sunny and 65 on Tuesday in Tennessee. Just bizarre. But Tennessee weather is like that. Wait five minutes and it's bound to change.

Do note, I made a genius discovery. I usually add a handful of chocolate chips to my brownies. This past weekend I also included a handful of Heath chips. They're teeny tiny Heath bar pieces, but without the chocolate. Insanely good.

The Amazing Ray will be on Tuesday's show, however, that means it will post after noon. Adam's schedule should allow him to be back on the show Wednesday.

The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #249 Thu 03.18.10

What will you do for your Little Debbie Oatmeal cookies? This 80-year-old took his hoe (had have taken his ho' that would've been an entirely different story, and perhaps more entertaining) and started to bang on his neighbor's door. He thought he had seven boxes of cookies in his house and was positive his neighbor and absconded with said cookies. Well, the police were summoned and they checked the guy's house. They found five boxes of cookies and a receipt showing he had bought only five boxes. So he had forgotten that he had only purchased five boxes and just forgotten. How droll. See, would've been funnier if he had been pounding the door down with an actual woman.

Some guy got on the public address in a Wal-Mart in South Jersey and did one of those "attention Wal-Mart shoppers, will all the black people please leave the store." Now, what would've made the joke funny is if he would've followed it with "would all the blonde women leave the store...would all the Asians leave the store... would all the nerds leave the store." You know, hit up everybody. Now I could see where that could be slightly amusing. Or, was it a black guy who did it? I have no idea, just speculating. Anyway, the joke was not well received, if indeed it was meant to be a joke. I mean, I'm guessing it was. I don't know, I didn't do it, I wouldn't do it. But that's beside the point. I just happen to come from the Don Rickles school of comedy, insult everybody. That's really my only point.

My other point is, everyone I know is on a Z-Pak this week. It's as if we're in a club. I feel certain mine will kick in any minute now. Like now. Or, wait for it, now. OK, until then. I'm done. The show amused me. Give it a listen. Friday's show will be up around 2pm central. Ish, or as close as I can get it. I would say by 2 is safe. And the amazing Ray will be doing it with me. Ray is amazing because there are so many accents in him you never know which one is going to come out. I'm all a tingle about it.

Until then have fun with the Thursday show. Listen to it once or twice even. You might learn something. Click on Hear Jane at www.thejaneellen.com. For instance, today I learned that children will paint on walls. Even the floor, or the fridge. Being a genius, I only have water-based paints in the house so it's like a two second clean up, but still, my mantra of "paper only" (meaning draw or paint on) has clearly not sunk in. Yet. I'm sure many other of my mother mantras will not sink in either like "no tattoos" or "he's no good for you" I could go on, but I won't waste my breath now, or then. See, I'm trainable.

The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #248 Wed 03.17.10

Happy St. Patrick's Day, or what's left of it. Adam and I had a lovely show. Listen and find out. I do believe I have heard great. Yes. I think amazingly funny was also said. Got a call from Irish Ray too. Was able to tie in the whole St. Patrick's Day snakes with the movie Snakes on a Plane. You need to hear it at Hear Jane www.thejaneellen.com. Got some comedy rolling.

Adam accused me of making up the words CookiePuss and Fudgie the Whale. But no. I was simply remember Carvel ice cream cakes. The commercials were classic. Honestly, Adam was positive I was making it all up. But mo, all real. No Carvel in Tennessee.

Anyway, it's almost tomorrow, there are clearly not enough hours in the day.

The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #245 Mon 03.15.10

Happy Ides of March. As any educated person knows, the ides is the 15th of March, May, July and October, and the 13th of the rest of the months. But the Ides of March was made famous because it was on that day. What, I have to tell you? One of the most famous hits in Italian mob history. Julius Caesar was stabbed by about 60 Roman Senators, including Brutus ("et tu, Brute?" and you, Brutus) on March 15, 44 B.C. But you knew that. Of course you did. Well, that's why I'm here, to remind you that ancient studies needs to be hammered into everyone's heads because it's cool and worthwhile. Even though Jim disagrees. But what does he agree on? So little.

Alice in Wonderland has made a gajillion dollars. OK, that's not a precise amount, but close. It was number one again over the weekend. Man that Irish wrestler guy with the red hair is really pale. But I digress.

So, let's talk Giant African snails. I must admit, this story gave me the giggles. I snort laughed. Couldn't stop. This guy, Charles L. Stewart, has smuggled these illegal snails into Florida. That's the issue. They are invasive. Hey now, here's why, they grow up to ten inches. See why I had issue? Hear Jane www.thejaneellen.com. Now he says it's part of his religion and he and his followers drink the snail juice. I don't know if they milk them or sqeeze them or squish them or what. You'd have to listen. I suggest you do.

And a woman who had been arrested for fraud had almosts thirty grand in bills AND receipts in her bra. That's a lot of paper. That's a really big bra. Let's visualize, shall we?

Site updates ready and waiting. Jay talks about asparagus in Can U Dig It. Go look.

The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #244 Thu 03.11.10

Things stick in my brain. And when I was at Gary and Cassie's house, his hymnal was open to a page that had In the Sweet Bye and Bye on one side and I'll Fly Away on the other. I connect I'll Fly Away so strongly with the film O Brother Where Art Thou that I start quoting lines from the film. Because I'm a Dapper Dan man. Could not help myself. I'm a bit obsessive compulsive that way. Cookeville, TN is mentioned in that movie too. Nice touch. Gary and I have decided to make our podcasts a little more regular. We had so much fun. I can't imagine why we wouldn't do that. I'll bring more baked goods. I promise. You can hear more from Gary at his new site www.ahymnaweek.com.

Adam Cravens hasn't been on the show lately not because he has been banished, has a case of leprosy, or has been taken by aliens, at least not according to what he says. He has been working. Which is ponderous. And helping out in the community theater production of Cinderella. This caused Jim to make remark. Do listen at Hear Jane on www.thejaneellen.com. Adam says he will be on Friday's show. He alleges.

Seems alleges is a word that some journalists are no longer allowed to use. Along with diva. Can't use diva? How can you describe me then? You simply must read this memo.

Hope all is well and wonderful with you. Am hoping to have The Italian on the show next week. Might need a translator. But it will be soooooo worth it. Grrrrr.

The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #243

Gary Chapman. What a show. Go listen. Now. I command you. Hear Jane at www.thejaneellen.com. It's one of the best. Gary sings, he dances. OK he just sings. Gary has a new website called www.ahymnaweek.com. You'll have to visit it or listen to the show to get the full story but the short version is, it's for his parents. It's beautiful.

You know, I've said it before, I'm just lucky to have talented friends. Makes me realize I'm just lucky. I can bake. I can accessorize. I can snort when I laugh. I don't really "do" anything. But Gary can sing and play and it's gorgeous. I even put it on video to prove it. Also to prove that I can accessorize.

We talked about how he knows all the ingredients to the famous Elvis fried peanut butter and banana sammich. It was made for him by the same guy who made it for Elvis. This was relevant because I brought my banana bread which I call The Elvis because of the bananas, a given, the peanut butter chips, and the chocolate chips as well. So terrific warmed up with buttah.

We chatted about Ouja boards and gulllible people. How we could make a few extra grand. Really, a show you shouldn't miss. I may even listen to it again. We will make it a regular thing, trust me. And my friend Cassie, The Mrs. Gary, we even dragged her into it as well. What a perfect day. How I love them both.

The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #242 Tue 03.09.10

The Oscar talk continues. Jim and I talked much about Jimmy Kimmel's Handsome Men's Club which is nothing short of hilarious. I almost got Jim to admit he was wrong regarding the first African American woman to win an Oscar, Hattie McDaniel. But it was Butterfly McQueen who said the "birthin' no babies" quote in Gone With the Wind. You had to have heard Monday's show to know what I'm talking about. Or maybe you don't care. I cared that I was right. So Jim agreed that we could all be right.

In Jersey about six women were hospitalized because they chose to get bathtub caulk in their butt for butt implants. Oddly enough, it's not a good thing to go to non-plastic surgeons for this sort of thing. Bathtub caulk for non-medical grade silicone. Seriously. They thought this was a good idea?

I share a story about a straight, male friend of mine who is regularly hit upon by gay men. It's worth a listen at Hear Jane www.thejaneellen.com.

Go to another straight male friend of mine's website www.ahymnaweek.com it's Gary Chapman. Jim shows how I will know none of the songs, yet have a great time with Gary as I do the show from his house tomorrow. If I can ever find it.

The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #241 Mon 03. 08.10

Gorgeous Monday, 70 degrees, Miss Slacker can't even write a blog in a timely fashion. What can I say. But that doesn't let you out of your obligation regarding today's show. That's the glory of a podcast. Every day I have people ask me why I'm not doing morning radio. It's been more than a year. I'm not going back. This is one of the things I do now. And you get it on iTunes for free whenever you want or listen from your PC whenever you want. No commercials. All me all the time. Sweet deal, isn't it? I should say so.

Today you get Jim and I talking about the Oscars. Clooney clearly making hand gestures to me throughout the show. Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin did a fine job though I felt Steve had the best lines. Robert Downey Jr. and Tina Fey were magnificent as presenters. And the biggest omission Bea Arthur and Farrah Fawcett left off of the In Memoriam, yet Michael Jackson remained. I have no issue with Michael being in, but the word given was they were left off because they were known mostly from their television work. Well, he was known mostly for his music. Happy place, Clooney. Sigh. I just know he smells good. Don't ruin it for me. It takes 82 years for a woman to win best director? For crying out loud.

Jim did his once a year bit of yard work for an hour or so and kvetched the rest of Sunday, and Monday. You see, he does clean out the gutter. But without gloves. How lame, and disgusting, is that? But then he doesn't collect the muck, or tree branches, he has torn down. That's for me to do. Luckily, I have people.

Go to the website, plenty of new stuff. There's a seafood dish, it's Lent you know. Jay's Can U Dig It is all about berries. And Adam has a new feature in Geek Chic. Do take a peek. It's www.thejaneellen.com. And the show is at Hear Jane.

The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #238 Wed 03.03.10

It's double three day. March the third. Adam called it triple play day. Yes, I know, I've been a total slacker regarding these updates. You'd think I had nothing to do. Today I found out that retail stores can resell used, as in previously worn, underwear. OK, a bra, well, ew, but, not usually an area known for fluids. That's really I'm going to say.

I can't believe I am going to say this though. I'm working on a recipe and, hard to believe, too much butter. Butter makes things spread. Insert joke here. In a cookie it can make it spread too much. So I switched it to a bar. Sure they taste great. But I'm still looking at a 7 when it should be a 10.

Oh, the show. Adam and I talked about my new friend John and whether or not he sounded like Fat Tony from The Simpsons. Adam assumed he sounded like one of the Mario Brothers. Not Mario Lopez. I think Adam's imitation sounded like the Lucky Charms guy by the way. Not like a pisan at all. But Adam's British accent only sounds like Ringo Starr so what are you gonna do?

We simply cannot do a show without mentioning Star Trek. Totally valid. You see, Adam and Brien and I, celebrating our geekiness. Have the original Star Trek communicator noise as our text message alert on our cell phones. The only problem is when we are all together. We realized why wasn't this a problem on Star Trek when their communication devices went off with the same noises? Didn't someone else think it was theirs? Then the comedy ensued. Do go to www.thejaneellen.com and click on Hear Jane. I found it most satisfactory.

The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #232 Tue 02.23.10

Panda porn. You don't hear that much about it. But it seems it's all the rage. There are just under 500 pandas in captivity and only about 1600 in the wild. And the males are a tad picky. And they only seem interested, when they are, for about 30 seconds. Some scientists have turned to what they call panda porn to encourage the male pandas to be a bit more attentive in their duties. They claim it works. All this led Adam and I to discuss whether or not there was one particular panda they used for the panda porn. You'll have to listen at Hear Jane to see in what direction we went at www.thejaneellen.com.

We talked about the new version of We Are the World for Haiti. And yes, there is a Huey Lewis only version.

It took until the 1960's for one racial slur in California to be changed to Negrohead Mountain. Now it's officially Ballard, after a pioneer. We then thought about what was perhaps on some maps still. Makes you wonder.

In the meantime, read Adam's Geek Chic, you'll enjoy it immensely.

The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #230 02.18.10

"My name is Clareece Precious Jones. I want to be on the cover of a magazine." Those are the opening lines from Precious as spoken by actress Gabourey Sidibe who has had a breakout year. And you would think she would be featured on the cover of Vanity Fair along with all the other young actresses who are having breakout years even though Adam and I didn't recognize half of them. Gabourey feels she has been snubbed. We concur.

Britney Spears has shot a new series of Candies ads for some slides. Adam and I looked at the ads. The shoes are gorgeous. He didn't notice the shoes. Or the pink teddy bear. I feel he was distracted by the white bikini. We then discussed how I noticed, online, that for Valentine's Day it was apparently newsworthy that she and her boyfriend went to a McDonald's drive through. The pictures were stupid. Two people in a care looking at each other like "hey what do you want to get?" Nothing unusual. Nothing newsworthy. And yet, there it was. Again, Brad and Angelina took some of their kids out for ice cream in Venice. Cameras in their faces. Ridiculous. They were just there. Being parents. No need for that. Listen to our discussion. Click on Hear Jane on the website.

Then we talked about who Adam would love to work with. Interesting result. OK, totally predictable.

The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #229 02.17.10

So I was not the only one who just didn't realize that today was Ash Wednesday. It snuck up on everyone I knew. I decided to give up snacking. Which is very difficult for me. I shouldn't be doing it anyway. Adam said he could not survive. Truly, you need to see Adam eat. He is so small and yet can consume vast quantities. It's fascinating.

American Idol started to narrow down the field to get it to the final 24 and Big Mike, the new dad, did make it.

Adam and I talked about the Family Guy episode that got the Palin family talking. If you want to hear it, I suggest you go and listen to it at Hear Jane on the website.

OK, I clearly cannot finish this. My husband refuses to stop talking to me.

The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #228 02.16.10

So it's Fat Tuesday. Have you overindulged? I made brownies. And then called Nathan Stoops of Scarletta, who I knew was on the road, to tell him of all that I had cooked over the past few days. I'm cruel that way. Jim spent the show suggesting what I could give up for Ash Wednesday. Oddly enough it was in no way helpful, yet it was completely irritating. I am, as yet, undecided. Seeing as, just as Christmas, Lent has completely snuck up on me. And I didn't realize that this was another one of those years when my birthday has fallen on a Friday during Lent. Which translates into, no meatballs at Mauricio's for me. I know, I'm pathetic, like the world revolves around me.

Kevin Smith's Southwest Air episode has now been called Fatgate. Really, if you're not following the story, or him on Twitter, you're missing out.

It's Fashion Week in New York. Apparently, the trend this season for women is to borrow from men's clothing. Well, it depends on how much borrowing we're talking about. Jim was amazed that Victoria Bedckham calls herself a designer. We had quite the discussion regarding that. You should listen to it at Hear Jane on the website.

So live it up, the rest of your Fat Tuesday.

The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #227 Mon 02.15.10

The illin' Jim and I talked through surgical masks (I wish) today about Kevin Smith's Southwest Air debacle. You see, he had purchased two tickets as is the norm for someone of his size. Then, there was one seat on an earlier flight that was sold to him. Once ensconced with the sidearms down the captain had him tossed. And oh the tweets. If you don't follow him on Twitter, you should. It's been a scream. They tried to give him a $100 voucher by way of an apology. Like that would help. Not a free ride. Just $100 off. Oh, he's had much to say. All of it, hilarious.

New Scarletta video from their appearance on Balcony TV in Nashville. They do Jealous Boy and you can see it on their Facebook fan page. It's awesome.

Jim's sick therefore he can do nothing and has contaminated his computer. The new season of The Amazing Race has begun and they seem to have cast some real doozies. Jim also let it be known that he is well versed on Barbra Streisand movies and ranked his favorites. I had no idea he felt so strongly.

The website is back up and running. There were two separate issues last week, both of them resolved. So all the columns are new, along with a recipe of the week for spinach haters and even new photos in the gallery. Go explore.

The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #226 02.12.10

Server problem is keeping the website down. Keep checking back, it's being attended to. And, yes, it's completely annoying. However, you can listen to the podcast on iTunes and by going directly to the feed www.thejaneellen.podbean.com.

On today's show, Adam and I talked movies. A lot of movies. Seems there will be another Chronicles of Riddick. Now, you may be confused, but remember, it all actually began with Pitch Black. This one they're making with Vin now is really just a glorified commercial, as Adam put it. And it's to sell lunchboxes and action figures. Which is where the whole Riddick thing really made its money on a global level. It wasn't in ticket sales. Then we got to talking about the later Jurassic films. And that's when I started writing a Jurassic film he would like. One with machine guns on the arms of the T-Rex and rocket launchers in the horns of the triceratops. I think I had Scar-Jo riding one, maybe Jessica Alba riding another. It only got better the more we talked. I'm talking, this was nothing short of genius. Or at least on the level of another Riddick film.

New movies out today, Wolfman, Valentine's Day and the Potter lookalike with Sean Bean from Fellowship of the Ring (best death ever) Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief.

By the way, just thought I'd throw this into the mix. Jim doesn't find Cougar Town hilarious. There's something wrong with him.

The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #225 Thu 02.11.10

Issues. For the next 24 hours or so, to hear the podcast go directly to www.thejaneellen.podbean.com to catch the feed. Or pick it up off of iTunes. The good news is my webmaster now has a new computer and things should slowly be getting back to normal.

Today's show Adam and I talked about fun at Wal-Mart. First of all, never a good idea to take a metal bat from sporting goods and then walk over to the TV's and smash them up. It got one guy in Georgia 29 counts of criminal damage to property. What a waste. Adam says people try to walk into Wal-Mart with all sorts of strange things. For instance, a Ninja sword. And they get annoyed when they are stopped and told they can't bring it in. Yeah, never a good idea.

Neither is trying to buy urine off of kids. That's what an 18-year-old was doing in Manhattan Beach, CA. The police assume it's because he wanted clean urine to pass drug tests. His bail is $150,000. That's what he gets for hanging around elementary schools asking boys for their pee. Adam said if that would've happened to him, he probably, as a child, would've agreed, as child Adam would've seen no down side.

It seems one fifth of adults would rather spend Valentine's Day with their pet. Now we did question what "with" meant. And it seems most of those who answered were from Turkey. But still, interesting. Valentine's Day is Sunday and I do have extra Harry Potter and Mickey Mouse valentines for the men in my life. Oh, I'm not joking.

In case you missed it, the regular columns, Geek Chic, Tube Job, Can U Dig It, all were posted on www.facebook.com/thejaneellen under notes seeing as the whole computer thing meant they weren't going to be up this week. And that was just sad. They were full of joy that was meant to be spread.

Adam's back with me tomorrow to talk about new movies opening this weekend.

The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #224 Wed 02.10.10

Snow in Tennessee today meant Adam's Ranger was not giving him good lovin'. He said that rear wheel drive and a stiff wind are not a good combination. So we had to podcast with a phone connection, not our favorite way to do a show. Anway, we talked about our great love of Lost. Amused that the new character who was dressed just like hippie John Lennon was, what do you know, named Lennon. So sad the show will be off the air in the spring. But perhaps the new Star Trek series will be on in 2011. Perhaps. And Ellen DeGeneres made her debut on Idol Tuesday night. She worked out well I thought. She was amusing and snarky when necessary. I thought she worked just fine.

Check out my youtube channel thejaneellen or go to www.facebook.com/scarletta to hear the latest song from our regular guest Nathan Stoops and the rest of his band Scarletta, which would be Benji Harris and Aubrey Collins. The song is called Mad.

Here's the latest on my website updates. My gorgeous webmaster is getting a new computer while the one that crashed is being fixed. I suspect you won't see any changes until the weekend. Sorry to say. Sorry for all of us actually.

The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #223

Adam had a big time today. He spent a solid ten minutes talking about the direction the Superman and Batman movies are taking. He would've gone on the entire show, but I had to pull him back. So if you are all about those super heroes then you need to go to the website and click on Hear Jane.

Ever seen a marmot? Seems they're rather common in Alaska. Unlike groundhogs. Groundhog day is not very popular in Alaska and it seems that February 2 is Marmot Day. Just so you'll know.

Did you know you could be cited for eating while driving? It happened in Massachusetts. This trucker choked on some chili and hit the foundation of a house. He's OK, the people in the house are OK. And lovers of Wendy's chili now know not to eat while driving. Well, really, how can you eat chili while driving? How can you?

A third of kids between the ages of 5 and 16 believe one of their teachers is an alien. As Adam put it, a third of kids are stupid.

And on that note, have a great day.

The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #222 02.08.10

Where was Adam today? Hmmmm? To talk about his favorite writer, Nicholas Sparks, and the movie, Dear John, number one at the box office? So, Jim had to do it. Jim's response was, well, Avatar had to slip eventually.

Some not new but newly-released (wow, if they were new that would be quite a trick) photos of Marilyn Monroe are up for auction at roughly two to four grand. They're black and white taken I think eight months before she died. The pictures are interesting because they are different and casual, and yet, you're not going to see the iconic Marilyn in them. Perhaps it's the cat's eye glasses that throws it off. Take a look.

We discussed a lawsuit between the Heart Stoppers Sports Grill and Heart Attack Grill. Both of which sell food designed to kill you. Now, no one is suing because it did. Wouldn't that be a trick. One is suing the other over the idea of the themed restaurant. And who wouldn't eat the Chili Chest Pain Fries? And they serve anyone who weighs over 350 lbs. their meal for free.

Jim and I chatted some about the Super Bowl ads. Do listen to Hear Jane at www.thejaneellen.com.

My favorite new band, Scarletta, has a fan page on Facebook, www.facebook.com/scarletta. Nathan Stoops, who often guests on the podcast, is one-third of the band. Do check them out, won't you?

Funny thing, my friends have not had luck with computers this week. One had theirs stolen. The other had the hard drive crash. Doesn't matter which one was my webmaster's computer. It still means the regular site updates are written, just not posted due to issues. Serious issues. We shall overcome. Stay tuned.

The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #221 Fri 02.05.10

What a big movie day. Or rather not. Adam is so down. There are just two movies in wide release today. And Adam and I spent the show reading the revies. It was a delight. Well, for us. They're on Rotten Tomatoes. We had the best time with the Dear John reviews. This led to a revelation from Adam, he knows more about Nicholas Sparks than he does about sports. Sad, seeing as he can't stomach Nicholas Sparks stories. The other film opening is the latest Travolta film called From Paris With Love. And the reviews say he is hilarious in it.

By the way. There is another great movie site that my friend Dan has and it is Run Pee. I highly recommend you visit it. Run Pee is a completely different experience from Rotten Tomatoes and gives you something you can use. Go and look. Give Dan my love.

PBS airs a show called Dinosaur Train. Listen to the theme song. It's an homage to Johnny Cash. Am I crazy? OK, don't answer that. But, it is. Just listen to it.

Shan Burklow, my gorgeous, red-headed BFF girlfriend drove in the pouring rain to do my actor headshots. Mind you, we had to do many of them outside. When it's raining and 40 degrees, it's a cold rain. But we got them done. Oh, actor headshots are supposed to be non-glam, generic, pleasant, blank canvas, everything is possible kind of photos. So a casting director can look at the photo and see what is possible. For me that translated to no lipstick, no hair product, just a smidgeon of make-up and no jewelry except for my wedding ring. Pretty low key for me. And considering I hate being rained on. Tough day. Even tougher for my friend Shan. Luckily she is a genius photographer. I think we pulled it off. I'll let you know if the job offers start rolling in.

My family in the DC area is getting hit with a ton of snow. We're supposed to get a few inches in the next few hours. I'm so over the snow. If it's coming your way, be safe.

The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #220 Thu 02.04.10

Adam and I broke it down for you today. Oh yeah, it needed to be down. The whole Star Trek even/odd movie thing. You see, the first film, not so great. The second one, Wrath of Khan, brilliant. Second, two, even numbered film. That's where it all started. Until Star Trek X Nemesis. Craptacular. Oh sure we both saw it. And would've loved to have been in it. But still. In comparison. Suckage. Then it all changed with Star Trek. The 11th film. So, will the 12 film be good or bad? We thought maybe if JJ Abrams decided to fire the new cast, remake Star Trek III or V in the form of a Nicholas Sparks story, then yes, very bad indeed. But we'd still watch it.

Lindsay Lohan said she's a hoarder. Of shoes. Leif Garrett, not doing so well. This week he was arrested for heroin possession. He's 48. Issues.

Apparently, some money shot of Lady Gaga during her Grammy performance with Elton John has laid to rest the rumor that she is a hermaphrodite. In case you were losing sleep over that.

Nick Jones was on Jimmy Kimmel's show talking about Bob Dylan's lack of singing ability. And then Adam went off on how Disney can manufacture whatever they need. I suspect it's from Walt's frozen head. They take a hair, and bam, they've got it. Do listen to www.thejaneellen.com under Hear Jane. Do. Won't you?

While Adam did the show he enjoyed my taco soup. It's incredibly easy and the recipe is on the site under Cook Jane. Look, if you can cook some meat and open a bunch of cans, you can make this. For real.

And then we talked about Valentine's Day, pros and cons.

The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #219 Wed 02.03.10

Being shushed is never any fun. But sometimes you deserve it. It's hard to take when it comes from a four-year-old. Even Adam had to admit that he and I deserved it. Anna Grace and Jenna were trying to watch The Simpsons. Anna Grace asked that we keep it down a bit. Well, she couldn't hear the jokes. She was right. We were discussing Lost. Adam said The Simpsons warranted us toning it down a bit. Had it been for something stupid, we would not've let her have her way. But come on, it was The Simpsons.

There's a show called Super Saints? As in some are better than other saints? I'm sure that's not fair. I digress.

Lost spoilers. There's two timelines going on. Oceanic 815 didn't crash and it landed at LAX with Kate in handcuffs, Desmond on board, and Charlie, a suicidal addict, John Locke in a wheelchair, Hurley rich and naive. Then you have Juliet down in the hole still alive for a little while having a moment with Sawyer. Dead John Locke and anti-Jacob (I don't know what else to call him) in the form of John Locke is really the smoke monster. Then Adam and I decide that Smoke Monster John is the best band name ever. Opening for Fat Moses. One night only. And you'll have to decide how we get to the bald men film. It's worth going to Hear Jane at www.thejaneellen.com.

We talk about the Oscars. And only Shatner on the WWE could be so perfect interpreting their theme songs.

Make sure you go to thejaneellen channel on youtube to see Scarletta perform Jealous Boy and all the footage from A Fashion Affair last weekend. It's well worth it.

The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary # 218 Mon 02.01.10

February 1. Did you change your calendar? It is my birthday month. I will be celebrating and accepting gifts all month long. Just putting that out there. Jim and I talked about his love of fashion. Oh, yeah, my mistake. His lack of knowledge regarding said fashion. We ran through a few Fashion Affair stories. I have posted photos and videos on Facebook. Two are on the main page of the website. You can see the entire runway show as well but I had to break it into pieces on youtube so there's the Vintage Furs, then the Student Designs, then Nina D, then Manuel and Finale. Or just follow my channel on youtube which is, conveniently enough, thejaneellen, and you can find them all there. Oh, I forgot, I cannot believe it. Scarletta singing Jealous Boy is also posted. Rock on Benji, Aubrey and Nathan.

Jim and I talked about the surgery game I played with Dan. That was fun. We didn't get out scalpels or anything. Perhaps next time. Just listen, we had a giggling good time today. Go to Hear Jane at www.thejaneellen.com.

And just because I believe in recycling and this makes for a good visual, I was wearing the first vintage mink you see in the Fashion Affair video that Kristen Motil has on when I tried to dig my van out of the ice this morning. I made it too. Until I stopped it to get the treads out until I got stuck again. And I did. Get stuck again. The children, my mink, and I, stayed home today. Hey, it's been dead long before I was born. No fresh kills for me. But I'll recycle a fur in a heartbeat.

The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #217 Fri 01.17.10

Today is my nephew Ryan's birthday. Happy birthday Ryan. Here's your card.

As snow is falling across the Volunteer State, Adam and I discussed the movies out today. Mel Gibson's Edge of darkness. Which caused me to make a catty remark about botox. Adam pointed out that he probably always looked like that except that hi-def has only just now made me notice it. Then there's the new movie When in Rome about magic coins and stuff. It's a comedy/romance thing with Kristen Bell. Not really our (referring to me and Adam) demo. So I rewrote it. I threw in some garroting and maybe aliens. He was amused. Maybe not everyone else would be. Listen and see what you think. Go to Hear Jane at the website.

I had to drive to Franklin today to stay with the most wonderful agent in the world, Stephanie Beck Williams. And her charming husband Dan. A Fashion Affair is tomorrow. I am invading their privacy because of the storm. The ride was not fun. However. I made it. And the show will go on. There are only about two inches of snow in Franklin. Shan says they have about six inches in DeKalb County. And they are coming to photograph the event. Anyway. I'm here. The host is present. It will be awesome. I have no doubt. You see, the trick is, say it with confidence. Then you can carry it off. Drive safe.

The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #216 Thu 01.28.10

Yes, Avatar is making gobs and gobs of money. But in today's show, Adam and I compare it to the films of yesteryear. It seems that nothing will ever dethrone Gone With the Wind. When you take inflation into consideration, it still made trillions. That's a heapin' helpin' amount of cash.

Adam and I also discussed how we are easily annoyed by those who say they do not like old movies. This caused us to compare newer films like, say, Meet Dave, to The Wizard of Oz. Discuss.

Mind you, there are plenty of old crappy movies. Just as there are new crappy ones. But there are many a brilliant film in black and white and they're not all by Hitchcock. If you would like to hear our many valid points, click on Hear Jane on the delightful website. You'll be fulfilled.

The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #215 Wed 01.27.10

American Idol auditions may not mean that much now that the top 23 have been, allegedly, leaked, but still, who doesn't love a good train wreck? Hadn't really thought about it but Glambert wannabes are all the rage this season and they're just not cutting it. Adam and I are in agreement, Simon's pithy remarks will be much missed. Unless we are hired for our scathing comments. We can scathe with the best of them. But, somehow, I don't think that will happen.

We wondered if James Cameron was a coupon cutter, ordered off the dollar menu, or just spent obscene amounts of money. We have nothing to base this on. We don't know his personal habits. We just came up with ideas. Listen and find out what we came up with at Hear Jane on the website.

I'm not quite sure how we got to the subject of whether or not Jesus rocked out or invented karaoke. What with the long hair and all it seemed a natural. But then all of a sudden Adam was talking about a guy named Fat Moses. I thought that was his name. But not, that's just Adam's name for him. Fascinating. And a great name for a band.

We also wondered about people who say they do not read books. We really just don't grasp that personality type. You mean, never? You never read a book? Ever? It's hard for me to hear and understand thoses words used in a sentence.

OK, that's it for now. Tomorrow, more Adam, more movie talk, I can feel it coming on.

There are maybe a handful of A Fashion Affair tickets left for Saturday at The Factory in Franklin. Go here. Buy now.

The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #214 Tue 01.26.10

Double dutch bus I've heard of. A double butt chicken named J-Lo is a new one on me. It's in Ocala. Don't worry, they're not going to eat J-Lo. The eight month old chicken has two pubic areas but, so far, does not lay twice as many eggs as the average chicken. They say they're not going to profit over J-Lo. Uh-huh.

Brad Pitt has allegedly bought a house because he and Angelina have allegedly split. What has Adam all aquiver is the house has a cave. Makes sense. He's friends with George Clooney. He was Batman. Adam thinks Brad may be the real Batman. Adam wants a house with a cave.

Oh how we amused ourselves today. Do listen at Hear Jane on the website.

By the way, there are ten, count 'em, ten tickets left for A Fashion Affair this Saturday. If you want them, go to www.avintageaffair.org. The gift bag alone is worth the price of the ticket. And it's all for charity.

The weather in Tennessee is frigid this week, and yet my daffodils are up an inch.
They do always bloom in February.

OK, tell me if this movie on TCM doesn't sound disturbing. It's from 1942 with Ginger Rogers and Ray Milland called The Major and The Minor. This is the DVR movie summary and I quote "A military school major eyes a blonde posing as a half-fare 12-year-old on a train." Ewwwww. Yeah, I get that she's not really 12, but he thinks she is and is still attracted to her. Double ewwwww. At least that's how the summary reads. And Ginger Rogers looks like a brunette or the darkest blonde ever. Hmmmm.

The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #212 Fri 01.22.10

Quick Draw McGraw was a cartoon character. And having a revolver from the 1800's doesn't mean you, a grown man in your 50's, should take it upon yourself to practice your quick draw techniques with a loaded weapon. But some guy in Florida did. And he shot himself in the leg. He'll live. His dignity won't.

In the movies released today we noticed the similiarities between the movies posters for Legion and The Tooth Fairy. For those who don't pay attention, they both have guys with wings. Could lead to some disappointment one way or the other.

Adam made me laugh a great deal today. Listen for yourself and find out why. Click on Hear Jane at www.thejaneellen.com.

After he left I was supposed to have a playdate, that's what we call it anyway, with world famous, well, in Japan anyway, Brien Travis. But they kept him for jury duty this time. So hard to believe. They kept him. It boggles the mind. Not that he isn't inherently keepable. But. I digress. Which forced me to not put off tedious things. Chores. Hauling slop. Milking things. You know, that type of biznass. And I hung a belt rack, did three loads of laundry, created a new recipe, got caught up on episodes of American Idol and Chuck (sort of, they were on in the background) and did not allow myself the pleasure of a nap. Saturday is A Beauty Affair, all part of A Fashion Affair. Jim claims he knew nothing about it until now. Uh huh. Anyway. A Fashion Affair is on the verge of selling out. Get your tickets at www.avintageaffair.org. However, I have been told, that once the seats have been sold that Standing Room Only tickets will be sold for extremely low prices. You still get the show, the food and drinks, and me of course, you just have to lean, not sit, and no gift bag. Just hinting about that now. We shall see if that actually happens. Have a great weekend. Many new things will show up on the website Sunday night. Be looking for it.

The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #211 Thu 01.21.10

Yesterday's show, yeah, never got to that one. But you should. Adam and I were golden. Just like today's. So listen to both. Go to Hear Jane at www.thejaneellen.com. Yesterday's show begins with my telling of a story about a meeting I was at, and words that make me laugh. That should be enough to go on.

Today starts with the brilliance of Conan. He is spending NBC's money because, well, they have to pay for everything through tomorrow. So he took the world's most expensive car, a Bergotti, dressed it like a mouse, and played the original recording of the Stones Satisfaction. It cost $1.5 million to do that, including the rights to air that on the internet. Suh-weet.

Jim thinks of Brien a lot. Jim doesn't accept that Brien, a piano player, does not like Barry Manilow. Just like Adam has a music-loving friend who does not like the Beatles. That is just wrong. Jim feels that Brien does not know the entire Manilow catalog. The point is, in 2006, Barry appeared for one hour on QVC and that was the biggest single-hour music sales event in the channel's history. He just did another appearance on QVC, this time he was doing it live from Vegas to pimp his latest album The Greatest Love Songs of All Time. Wonder if Brien appeared on QVC if his Japan sales would soar even more?

I have encouraged Adam to read the Stephanie Meyer comic book. The review I read and posted on Twitter and Facebook was very amusing. He doesn't want it to touch his other comic books and said everything 12-year-old girls liked was stupid. Then apologized. And said he liked ponies. That got us talking about Superman and I suggested an alternative storyline. Really, you have to hear it. I, uh, I just can't put it into words. If Adam reads it, his eyes might break. Hearing it was painful enough.

And you can put peanut butter on chicken and eat it. Yes you can.

The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #209 Tue 01.19.10

46 bottles of vodka enough fer ya? It is, if you're Scottish. Seems about average actually. That's what they're downing with their haggis. And that would seems to be a bit much. Now I've had vodka. But never an entire bottle. In my entire life. So, certainly not 46 bottles of it a year. Seems there be more than dragons there. (I don't know, just wanted to throw that it.)

I made spaghetti recently. Jim complained, yes, complained, that I cooked the sauce for over six hours. I informed he that he didn't have to eat superior sauce. He complained about it. "What? Who does that? You open a can, you're done. Nobody cooks sauce for over six hours." It sickened me.

John Denver is a delightful singer. Yet, when I asked Jim who he was most likely to rock out to, He responded with what I expected, KISS and Queen. But a guy in Wisconsin was fined for rocking out to John Denver. That Sunshine on My Shoulder does get pretty raucous.

Oh, you were wondering how great Erika Page White and I looked together when we visited Manuel's last week? Funny you should ask. That's why I chose to start the blog with our photo. She will be modeling. I will be prancing. I tend to do that. I really must learn to control myself. There are only 40 tickets left for A Fashion Affair on January 30, so if you live in Tennessee and want some spectacular food and want to see us in action, you need to get your tickets now at www.avintageaffair.org.

The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #208 Fri 01.15.10

Happy Ides of January. What? You thought there was only an Ides of March? The Ides is the 15th of every month. So now you know.

Jim and and I discussed my visit home in today's show. Thursday, Shan and went to Manuel's Exclusive Clothiers on Broadway in Nashville. Manuel is one of the designers for A Fashion Affair, the event which I am hosting January 30. We met up with my agent Stephanie and the fabulous Erika Page White, who will also be modeling.

Let me just say that next time you're in Nashville you need to go in Manuel's and see how gorgeous it is. You know how I love to sparkle. Everything sparkles in the Rhinestone Rembrandt's shop. Even his latest line of undies. We tried on jacket after jacket and then I was asked if I would consider wearing two throughout the course of the show. Yeah, I needed convincing.

As soon as Shan sends me the photos, that would be you Shan, who has all the photos, I said as soon as Shan sends them to me I shall unleash them upon everyone. Manuel and Lauren and Lolly were amazing. We had a big time. Jim would've been bored out of his mind. I wanted to move in.

We also discussed a story from Sweden. Usually a pizza place is right next to a weight loss center. This time, it wasn't anything like that. No, the people who had gathered for their weekly weigh in had the misfortune to be on a floor that collapsed. I'm sure they had to put up with many an inappropriate joke. I wonder if any of them will be back.

New site updates this weekend. You can listen to the entire show at www.thejaneellen.com. And you can listen to me read audio books at www.audible.com.

The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast Summary #207 Thu 01.14.10

One month until Valentine's Day. Just letting you know ahead of time. Adam and I have a show that, quite honestly, fascinated us. We talked about our favorite thing. Movies. I asked him what movie set, other than Back to the Future (which I know to be his favorite) would he have liked to be on? He said Ghostbusters. Then I had to think about it. Of course, I wanted it to be a movie of merit. Something with cultural impact. And yet, I didn't want it to be, in hindsight, a set where I had known the conditions were not, shall we say, comfy? We agreed that a sound stage was about as good as I was going to get.

Then we moved on into our delusional Star Trek conversation. Here's the plan. Adam pointed out that we are not, NOT in the upcoming Star Trek film or the still in the "this is a good idea" Star Trek series. I've talked to my agent on at least three occasions about it. All we need is about two seconds of face time in, let's say, the next film. A name in the credits. Hey, we're not asking for a line. Sure, expecting one, but not not demanding one up front. Just a week on the set and a few seconds on screen guarantees us gold geek status and being paid to speak at Star Trek conventions. That's not so bad. Adam trembles just thinking about it.

Today I had my fitting at Manuel's Exclusive Clothiers in Nashville. It was like coming home. I've rarely felt so comfortable in a shop before. Everything spoke to me. Everything was sparkly. I have been fitted by a legend. I am legend. No, wait, that's a Will Smith movie. And I was asked if I would wear two of his jackets. Uh, sure. More on this experience later. Let me just say, though, it was fabulous. MWAH!

The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast #206 01.13.10

What a day this has been. What a rare mood I'm in. Brigadoon anyone? Today's show, me, Adam, and Nathan Stoops. We discuss a rubber robot named Roxxxy that costs nine large and holds your hand and talks to you. Then there's Heidi's extra plastic surgeries. And Adam and Nathan's feelings on Megan Fox and ScarJo. It was quite the program. And tomorrow I get to go to the world famous Manuel Exclusive Clothiers in the Music City. Frankly, I'm all a twitter. Go and explore what's new on www.thejaneellen.com.

The Jane Ellen Experience #205 Tue 01.12.10

I for one wonder how many times a day Adam is asked if he has a Bowflex body. I get to see it at least three times a week. Just putting that out there. Spider Man 4 will no longer be helmed by Sam Raimi and will no longer star Tobey Maguire. And how do we get that pay or play clause in something so someone can stop us from doing something and still hand over a hunk-o-dough? Anyway, James Cameron has expressed an interest in the franchise. Adam has theory. You simply must hear it. Click on Hear Jane www.thejaneellen.com.

The amazing Brien Travis pointed out to me that my emails to him sound just like Meryl Streep's lines in Devil Wears Prada. Adam has not seen and enjoyed this film. Even though nothing blows up, it is full of sarcastic asides and bitter remarks and I assured him he would enjoy it. Just go to to www.imdb.com and look up the film and check out memorable quotes. I do believe I have remarked at people, Brien in particular, moving at a glacial pace. Only said in a a much more gentle fashion. And the remark about coffee. Yeah, I'm sure I've said that too.

Seems our fave Kevin Smith is fascinated by Manimal too. It warrants looking into. The new A-Team trailer is a delight. I like that Liam Neesom is George Peppard-ish. And I love it when a plan comes together. Though Jim totally dissed the A-Team. What does he know?

I realized we did the entire show reclining like Romans. All we lacked was a vomitorium.

Had a delightful talk today with Erika Page White. She's a brilliant actress. Or is it actor? I'll have to have her clarify that. And she's married to country superstar Bryan White. Plus, she's part of A Fashion Affair. By the way, if you live in Tennessee, tickets are selling out fast. You can buy them online at www.avintageaffair.org. All the VIP tables have sold out already. Of course, if you're there, in my eyes, you are a VIP. But, uh, technically, I guess you're not. Hey, you snooze you lose. But still, I will be host to all of you. And you will love it!

The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast #204 Mon 01.11.10

Do you have any clear idea as to when things expire in your fridge? Have you noticed that salad dressing expiration dates are often hard to find and read? It was once suggested to me that you should write the day you bought the stuff with a Sharpie on the lid. That way you know. I think that's a brilliant idea. Of course, I've never done it. But I think about doing it every time I wonder if my food has gone bad. Just passing it along.

The Simpsons celebrated 20 years of deliciousness on television. It is nothing short of brilliant and I am proud to say I come from Springfield. Do I have a favorite character? Krusty holds a certain appeal. Love the Mr. Plow theme song. And Comic Book Store Guy is fantastic. But it was because of The Simpsons that the Elvis TV show from 1990 never took off. And it was great. All two episodes. We actually looked up what shows were cancelled after just one episode. Listen and find out (shows like Heil Honey, I'm Home). Click on Hear Jane www.thejaneellen.com.

Manimal was not one of those shows. I rarely pass up a chance to talk about Simon McCorkindale. This guy wasn't just a man, or an animal, he was a manimal. It had such possibilities. I don't see why it didn't take off. Michael Bay take a look at this and turn it into a movie where things blow up real good.

Jim made sexist remarks about women driving in the snow. Most of which were warranted. And you can get ten years behind bars for massaging your meat. 80 pounds of it apparently.

The recipe of the week is a fantastic treat that mixes the taste of coffee and chocolate and will not help you lose weight if that was a New Year's resolution of yours. Sorry about that.

The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast #203 Thu 01.07,10

Manure. When you care enough to send the very best. Dick Kleis in Zwingle, Iowa, wanted to do something special for his wife's birthday. And he thought 120,000 pounds of manure would be the best way to tell her happy birthday. So that's how he spelled it out. Which got Adam and I thinking. Was it all the same type of manure? Did friends contribute? It took him three hours to spell the message, but how long to rid himself of the stench. I am assuming he did have some sort of odor. And, lucky for him, she was delighted with it. Me, not so much.

Spider-Man 4 and Thor were going to be released on the same day. And we agreed, that did seem a little bit silly. Same demo and all. Then I rhymed a lot of things with Thor and some bad British accents ensued. You'll have to listen at Hear Jane www.thejaneellen.com to appreciate all that.

Then we switched gears to bad Italian accents as I told the tale of a fateful trip, no, not that. As I talked about Dr. Vito Franco from Palermo University. He is one of many who looks at famous works of art and then says what was physically wrong with them. For instance. Allegedly. Mona Lisa had fatty acids under her skin--too much cholesterol. Botticelli's Portrait of a Youth? Marfan Syndrome. Michelangelo as shown in Raphael's The School of Athens had swollen knees. And we all know what that means. No, we don't go there. Excessive uric acid and renal calculosis. Totally not making this stuff up.

Adam and I talked about whether or not we are pundits. According to Wendy's research, we are. This is what she discovered: Pundits offer their opinion to the masses. We do that. But it is usually political. We rarely walk the political road. Pundits make remarks on things in which they are knowledgeable. Well, that's never stopped us. Soooooo, we do qualify. But lately, the word had become a tad derogatory. Which is why we are not so hip to embrace it.

Schools closed here before it ever snowed. The many inches promised turned into a wee bit with more ice thrown in for fun. Of course just a little precipitation brings out the birds so I taught my girls more birdwatching techniques this afternoon and a grand time was had by all. Many people applauded me. Though it was referred to as nerdwatching by one of my friends. As expected.

The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast #202 Wed 01.06.10

Feeling a bit bloated? Want to add depressed? Let's say you were a member of www.beautifulpeople.com, one of the most exclusive online dating communities. And all of a sudden, you're rock hard abs are only mildly firm and you are outta there. Beautifulpeople.com members vote people in and decide whether or not they can stay. They dumped 5,000 members who the others thought had gotten a little less beautiful over the holidays. However, they were encouraged to apply again later. Those who were dumped were from the UK, US and Canada. Adam and I considered again to see if they would vote us in, and then resign. We have no interest in dating. We're just curious.

If you want to know how we went from the scientific "discovery" that there is no G-spot to G-force then you'll just have to listen www.thejaneellen.com click on Hear Jane.

Celebrity Apprentice returns in March with former governor of Illinois, Rod Blagojevich, Darryl Strawberry, Sharon Osbourne and Cyndi Lauper. We can only assume that Cyndi and Sharon will play it crazy as that will be more entertaining. Brien was appalled that the great and talented Cyndi Lauper is on the show. Let me just say that the regular Apprentice is a bit ponderous for my taste. Celebrity Apprentice is well cast and gives the celebs a chance to get money for and publicize the charity of their choice. My, ahem, video co-star from Hillbilly Bone Trace Adkins was all about food allergies because he has a child with such an issue. As does our Research Team member Wendy. You can learn more at http://www.foodallergy.org.

Last season's Celebrity Apprentice winner, Joan Rivers, got stuck at the airport in Costa Rica because her passport says Joan Rosenberg aka Joan Rivers. Security felt this was suspicious. She had only $100 and no ATM card. A friend of a porter drove her 6 1/2 hours to another airport and she was able to get on a flight to the US there. Clearly another case of racial profiling.

January 30 is A Fashion Affair at The Factory in Franklin. I'm hosting it and the food, wine and spirits and fashion will be beyond amazing. Tickets are limited and going fast. If you get the VIP tickets you also get to attend A Beauty Affair on January 23. You can get tickets online at www.avintageaffair.org. All of this goes to charity by the way, and those beneficiaries are listed on the site.

The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast #201 Tue 01.05.10

Adam Cravens and I together again. Good times. I filled him full of sausage and chili. But not chili sausage. And all was well in the world. We talked of super powers. One of our favorite topics of discussions. We went over that lovely Washington Post column that is well worth your time. Avatar seems to be mildly successful. 17 days and a billion dollars? I think that's doing OK. Tiger Woods will be on the cover of Vanity Fair, shirtless, and pumping iron. But this photo was taken in, I want to say, 2006? Nothing like capitalizing on a scandal. This really was a delightful show. Our Wendy said she was sad, yes, sad when it was over because it was too short. By the way, one of our favorite people, Cyndi Lauper, will be in Celebrity Apprentice. Along with Sharon Osbourne. Will they be buds or clash? Hmmmm. Now, go listen to the show. Adam had much comedy to say about Twilight. So much so I could not top laughing. Hear Jane at www.thejaneellen.com.

The Jane Ellen Experience Podcast #200 Mon 01.04.10

Back to a normal schedule for many. And the 200th show for this award-winning podcast. Extraordinary! Jim and I eased back into it with what I supposed turned out to be somewhat of a tribute to Jim Stafford's song "Spiders and Snakes," though it was unintentional.

You see, there was a trailer fire in Utah. The humans were OK, but there were also 18 snakes in there. Only 11 made it out alive. The owner did mouth to mouth, sort of, with a pipe. I don't have snake issues. But I can imagine that some of the firefighters just weren't expecting that.

Then there was the guy in Britain with watery eyes. Turns out he had been cleaning the cage of his tarantula. The Chilean rose tarantula can release a, wait for it, wait for it, "mist of tiny hairs" to protect it form predators. One of those tiny hairs got stuck in his cornea. Creepy. Which brought about a discussion as to what it would be like if people could do more stuff that animals can do.

And Lonely Planet did a story on the top five most horrible places to live in the WORLD, two of them being in the US. Honestly, I'm not buying that. You'll just have to listen. Go to www.thejaneellen.com and click on Hear Jane.

And then I started to extol the virtues of the new cartoon Phineas and Ferb. I am all about it. Adam is on Tuesday's show. He will be adding something new to Geek Chic called Geek Chic Elite. More on that, later. Many new things on the site so do go exploring. And Happy New Year.