Headlines should be newsworthy, don't you think? But "Jon Gosselin rides ATV, smokes cigarette" really now. How about "Jane Ellen does dishes" does that rate? Jim says that never happens so if I did actually do the dishes it would make the headlines. Seriously.
Opening today Surrogates is a PG 13 sci-fi action with Bruce Willis. Fame, yes, remember my name. It's a remake of the 1980 film, it's a PG 13 drama/musical with Debbie Allen (who said one word "wicked" in the original film and was in the TV show), Kelsey Grammer, Megan Mulally and Bebe Neuwirth, and Michael Moore's documentary Capitalism: A Love Story.
Barbie is getting a live action film just like GI Joe and Transformers did, only I don't think there will be things blowing up. I have offered myself as Barbie's friends hot mom who looks like a MILF but is really just the cool mom whose husband is played by George Clooney. It sounds perfect, doesn't it?
Let's talk about penises, shall we? Some nut job, I couldn't help it, thought that it would be a grand idea to make his longer by attaching a metal weighted ring to his. After about three days it started to cut off circulation and his member turned black and swelled up about five times its normal size. Emergency workers had to sedate him and tie him down to remove the metal ring to save his penis which was about to die because the blood flow had been cut off. Craaaazy.
And, in a related note, a judge had to think really hard about this one. Was it animal cruelty or just weird when a police officer put his penis in the mouths of five calves. Did the bovines think they would be getting milk? So bizarre. He is no longer a police officer and has many, many issues. I think that much is obvious.
Be sure and sign up for the Manhattan Salon giveaway on the main page of the website at www.thejaneellen.com. Have a terrific weekend.
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