The One About Waiting

I remember Sister Mary Eileen teaching me what is, now that I think about it, a rather sexist poem. I wonder who taught it to her. "Patience is a virtue, possess it if you can. Seldom in a woman, never in a man." Well, it stuck with me. The poem that is. And I do try to be patient. Even though my patience is constantly tried.

My oldest child, Anna Grace, has no patience at all. Half a second is an eternity that she simply cannot wait through. I feel her pain. Only I don't voice it. I may think it though, I have learned to squelch it.

I admit I like instant gratification. I call you I expect you to answer immediately. It's me. I don't want to go through your lackey. I text you I want the answer as soon as I've sent my missive. Drop what you're doing and attend to me. I admit I'm a little narcissistic. But I have stopped whatever I was doing to communicate with you. Well, I probably haven't. I'm probably doing five things at once. I multi-task. It's my way. Just don't keep me waiting.

There was a time when I waited five hours for a doctor's appointment. Believe me, that wouldn't happen today. 30 seconds for the microwave? Geez, that's asking a lot. But OK, if that's what it takes. Why don't we have a transporter yet like on Star Trek? That seems feasible. I didn't expect to be able to wiggle my nose like on Bewitched. Though if that works please let me know. But the transporter, I think that's possible. Now somebody make that happen. Immediately.

I remember when I was pregnant just sitting around feeling miserable waiting. Waiting for those children. I was not one of those happy pregnant women who felt good the whole time. Yes, I was happy to be pregnant when I was but man it was really unpleasant. For real. And all I could do was sit. And wait. Two things I am not good at.

Perhaps that's one reason why I will never move back to Northern Virginia. I had my share of sitting and waiting in traffic. Just enough to know that I never want to live like that again. Yes, you adjust to it. You have to. You just live so much of your life in your vehicle. That was not where I wanted to spend my time waiting.

I would rather be impatient somewhere else. Like here, at the computer. Where my emails and text messages remain unanswered. You know who you are.