The One About My Cold

I cannot remember the last time I felt well. Oh sure, it was probably a week ago. But it seems longer. Much longer. For those around me, it probably seems like a month. Actually, it started a few weeks ago with the girls. Because if there's one thing I've learned these almost four years of being a mother. Blame the children. Their shiny new immune systems catch everything and rain down upon my, some would say older I'll just say more established immune system; and they wreak havoc on my insides. It usually assumes the form of the plague or leprosy. Oh, no. I was thinking of something else. It usually assumes the form of a sinus infection in me. The girls each had them. Sinus confections as Anna Grace called them. Plus ear confections. They were miserable. I wasn't too happy either.

With the first diagnosis, we waited for Anna Grace's prescription to be filled and popped in on a good friend at work. Now if there's one thing I can say about my girls. They love to share. I watched the infection spread in slow-motion as she sprayed her cough directly into his face. Two rounds of anti-biotics later and he's almost able to function again.

However, I caught the mother lode. The never-ending cold to end all colds. And had the bonus of reinfecting my children. Which, by the way, is awesome. As I write this I can still barely hear out of one ear. I can't decide which is more apt. An elephant sitting on my face or a balloon being blown up from inside my head. And my husband is a mutterer so it has not been easy. What? What's that you said? No, seriously, I can't hear you.

The good news is, I had no idea I even had strep throat. It seems when your tonsils are gone it doesn't hurt like it used to. Bring it on baby. I could've handled just that. As a matter of fact, I would've preferred it.

But the thing is, you don't just get to be sick anymore. I mean good and sick and everything else is taken care of for you. You get to stay in bed. All day. Remember that? And if you need something, it's brought to you. No worries. I remember those days. And I also remember waking up and feeling better. Not this gradually getting better nonsense. I went to bed icky and woke up much, much better. I guess that's kidstuff. Well, I want it back.

I'm taking my medicine. For the third round. I will rid my sinuses of this unwanted infection and invite it to live somewhere else (I will suggest other, more deserving recipients at another time). I am trying to keep my complaints to a minimum. And I am taking care of the girls. But that doesn't mean I don't want to go to sleep tonight and wake up tomorrow and be completely and totally better. Because I do. I've been given enough shots and pills (all by real doctors mind you) to cure me of this. I can hear Gene Wilder's voice in my head. Which, for me, is not at all unusual. But regarding this, it's from one of the funniest movies of all time, Young Frankenstein. And he's saying in a rather commanding manner, "This. Should. Work!"