The Podcast Summary

 Today is the day that this website went live. Today is the day of my
very first podcast.  Cannot even say the word podcast without thinking
podpeople.  Is that just me?  (I’m talking about Invasion of the Body
Snatchers just in case that passed you by.)  My husband calls me a
podperson because I have no physical reaction to cold stimuli.  He
says I’m not human.  That is quite possibly true.  I am currently
functioning at a very high level with a large stake protruding from
behind my left eye.  Oh, wait a minute, it’s just a blistering
headache. As I sit here next to the chocolate cake with peanut butter
frosting that I never should’ve made, I am reminded of lines from the
1980 movie Airplane.  “Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit
smoking… Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.”  I
haven’t touched the cake yet.  Just looking at it.
 On the dawn of this day of my very first podcast Anna Grace, my
oldest, decided to cut back my usual five hours of sleep down to just
under four.  It was 3am and she couldn’t sleep.  She must’ve been
worried about the site launch too.  After she relocated from her
monster-ridden bedroom to the monster-free couch, she was able to
sleep.  The monsters do not seem to bother her younger sister.  Yet.
I, however, was awakened.  And when this monster is awakened, there is
no turning back unless drugs, prescription people, prescription, are
introduced.  And I had not time for that.  I had a podcast to do.
 First, let me say, that even though I’m writing this and I’m
responsible for the content of what you hear on the podcast; the
person whose life was sucked away by the design and building of my
website is Brien Travis.  Like many of my creative friends, he can do
more than one thing.  I find it annoying in a jealous rage type of
way.  He’s a musician, he’s a songwriter, he’s a singer, he’s a
dessert topping, he’s a floor wax, he’s my webmaster.  And he’s still
speaking to me.  Frankly, I think he enjoys the abuse.
 While preparing for this podcast and putting together this website, I
kept coming across a tantalizing bit of trivia that, if true, would be
up there with who coined the term rock’n’roll?  DJ Alan Freed did
that.  I kept reading that former MTV VJ Adam Curry came up with the
term podcasting.  Upon further investigation, Adam made the term
popular.  It was word of the year in 2005.  However, it was a
journalist by the name of Ben Hammersley who was the first to put pod
from Apple’s iPod, the best selling mp3 player, together with the cast
from broadcast, together.  Now there are those who don’t want to
mention Apple every time.  But do you reach for a tissue or a Kleenex?
Even if it’s a Puffs, it’s a Kleenex in my head.  Or hand for that
matter.  Great marketing.  Anyway, for those who are anti-Apple they
prefer to say that pod doesn’t refer to iPod but to Personal On
Demand.  Which it is.  My podcast, any podcast, is a radio broadcast
whenever you want to hear it.  And there are those, like CBS, who call
their podcasts netcasts.  Tomato tomahto.
 And for those new to podcast listening, because you picked up the
iPod reference, you do not need one in order to listen.  A podcast can
be heard on any mp3-enabled device.  That includes a desktop computer.
If you have something that plays mp3’s you can hear my podcast
whenever you want to.  I’ll be doing them five days a week at
www.thejanellen.com.  And so, on with today’s show.
 Dancing with the Stars, from here on DWTS, returned last night, for
two glorious hours.  Last season was supposedly the most injury-ridden
season of them all.  Until this season when two of the celebrities,
Jewel and Nancy O’Dell, had to pull out before the show even aired.
This season began with Lil Kim, minus the pasties, and Derek cha cha
cha-ing to Nasty.  Lil Kim said the first time she ever watched DWTS
was when she was in prison.  Awesome.  She dedicated her performance
to her friends still in the pen.  Bruno said she worked wonders with
her tooshie and they got a 21.
 Former Go-Go Belinda Carlisle did the waltz with Jonathon.  She said
the spins make her nauseous.  She physically reminded me of Priscilla
Presley.  Bruno said he reminded her of Cloris Leachman.  They got a
17.  Football player Lawrence Taylor danced the cha cha cha with
Edyta.  He seemed a bit stiff and they scored 16.  Edyta had one of my
favorite how does she keep it on costumes.  However, Karina won the
night with a nearly nude ensemble.
 Steve-O from Jackass waltzed with Lacey Schwimmer.  She was the
perfect partner for him.  Quirky.  Johnny Knoxville and Wee Man were
in the audience.  Lacey had a super cool peacock feather dress on and
I thought he did really well.  They got a 17.
 Now, let me turn my attention to Gilles Marini.  All of my attention.
We have a frontrunner.  Because I have been a total slacker, I have
not watched the Sex and the City movie.  I know.  I suck.  But I have
heard about “the naked guy.”  And he is smokin’ hot.  And you know
what?  He can dance.  For real.  He’s paired with Cheryl Burke.
Usually, I am so mesmerized by Cheryl’s dancing that I don’t even
notice her partner.  Such was not the case for me last night.  Believe
me, I noticed Gilles.  So much so I had to back it up and watch it
again.  I still can’t bring myself to delete it.  They scored a 24.
 Real life couple Chuck Wicks danced with Julianne Hough.  They look
lovely together and waltzed their way to a 20.  I imagine she is quite
a taskmaster in the dance studio.  I was amused when she said she
thought he would be a worse dancer than he was.
Jewel’s replacement was Playboy Playmate Holly Madison.  Holly had
five days to learn her dance, instead of four weeks like everyone
else.  She danced with Dmitry Chaplin.  He’s new to the show.  Love
the see-through shirt Dmitry.  He’s like a junior Maksim.  And I’ve no
problem with that.  They got an 18.
 Jewel’s husband, rodeo rider Ty Murry danced with new to the show
professional Chelsie Hightower.  I love him.  He’s hilarious.  He said
much like the rodeo, you’re never completely ready, it just becomes
your turn.  He’s not a very good dancer.  I hope he doesn’t go right
away.  They only got a 14.  But I really, really like him.
 The youngest competitor is Olympic gymnast Shawn Johnson.  She’s 17
and is dancing with 21-year-old Mark Ballas.  They look great together
and did a fantastic waltz scoring them a 23.
 The co-founder of Apple Computers, genius Steve Wozniak, was paired
with Maksim’s fiancé Karina Smirnoff.  It was great to see Steve
practice in black shorts and black socks.  Then you have Karina in
that black netting leotard with fringe just where it needs to be.  And
that’s it. Way to go Karina.  Their cha cha cha got the lowest score
with a 13.  Will computer nerds be voting for Steve?  I don’t know.
But he seemed like a delightful man.  Just not a great dancer.
 David Alan Grier danced with Kym Johnson.  Who thought we needed to
hear You Light Up My Life ever again?  Anyway, their waltz was good
and they got a 19.  And my Maks was paired with Denise Richards who,
it turns out, can do the splits.  They did the cha cha cha and got an
18.  Maksim, when will we get to dance together?
 The final couple was clearly a crowd favorite for two reasons.  One,
Melissa Rycroft had been proposed to by The Bachelor.  The back-story
is they were kept apart for six weeks and then brought together on
live TV last week for the finale reunion show.  That’s where he dumped
her and asked the runner up to marry him instead.  Melissa is a former
Dallas Cowboy cheerleader.  But I think the truly amazing thing about
her, no matter who she is, is that she stepped in for Nancy O’Dell.
She started training with Tony to do the waltz on Saturday.  She
danced with him on Monday.  They scored a 23.  That’s natural talent.
I didn’t watch The Bachelor.  I just heard about what happened.
We all hear and hope that when a door closes a window opens.  Way to
go Melissa.  She did a great job.
 I had no idea that the fine state of Tennessee in which I reside was
home to not one but two of the manliest cities in the nation.  Memphis
rated number 11 but Nashville is number 1.  Why?  It’s the frequency
of monster truck rallies and popularity of hardware stores and
professional major league sports teams.  Oh, it’s true.  The number 2
manliest city in the nation is Charlotte, NC, followed by Oklahoma
City, Cincinnati, and then Denver.  All of this causes me to wonder if
there is a list of most feminine cities.  Or effeminate cities.  Or do
I have to make a list of my own?
 American Idol tonight.  Potential train wreck.  But isn’t there
always that potential?  Which is why I watch.  The top 13 will perform
the songs of Michael Jackson.  Now, he is the King of Pop for a
reason.  However, Idol contestants are not known for choosing songs
wisely.  And I doubt there’ll be too many shiny happy David Cook
moments.  Can’t imagine it will go well for that welder guy.  He’s a
welder, right?  You know who I’m talking about.  I like him, but I
don’t see him doing Jacko.  And should anyone sing Beat It or Bad I
will be hearing Weird Al lyrics in my head.  But that’s my problem.
 Wednesday’s Idol show will feature a performance, translate filler,
by Kelly Clarkson AND one by Kanye West.
 Combos.  Seven ounces equals seven servings?  Bah.  The perfect
hunger management snack.  The bag isn’t big enough and I will not
listen to their siren song again.  Evil.  Sing to me no more you
cheese filled snack wrapped in pretzely goodness.  I cast you off.